If you dare peek behind the curtain of illusion you will find that we are all the same, part of a whole and no better nor worse than the highest of saints or the lowest of sinners. The difference is how we use what we find to live our lives.
This quote is from a post I wrote yesterday about some experiences writing and looking into the personal dark. Some people think that humans cannot change their nature and this is potentially true but, they can change their behaviours. Behaviours are not only instinctual, there is a learning process involved which means, it is possible to unlearn and relearn, poke and nudge.
I find you attractive. Your aggressive moves toward me... indicate that you feel the same way. But still, ritual requires that we continue with a number of platonic activities... before we have sex. I am proceeding with these activities, but in point of actual fact, all I really want to do is have intercourse with you as soon as possible. -John Nash (A beautiful mind)
Now, logic itself is all well and good but, it has very little effect on changing behaviours as behaviours are tied to an emotional view of the self, an egocentric narrative. Most people have a view of who they are based upon what they do, 'I am a...' statements. But, what we do can change and at times, those changes can be rather drastic.
I have a friend who was inactive and by her own admission, 'very depressed and didn't want to go on'. She got an aggressive form of cancer. Perfect, her wish was granted, she could just lay back and let it consume her. Did she though? No. She fought and when she eventually came through the other side with the understanding that at any moment it could return, she chose to live those moments happy and usefully. She said recently, 'I now understand life. I have changed who I am.'
No, she doesn't, no she hasn't. What she has changed is her attitudes and outlooks toward life and the narrative of how she sees herself. She adjust her meaning for existence. The universe however likely cared no more or less for her or her actions than it had previously.
The narrative we hold over ourselves is important for our actions but, it is an illusion based on delusions if one looks at it logically. In other words, life may be completely pointless. However, is that any way to live?
Now, a culture, society or community is made up of an eclectic range of people, each with their personal narrative and behaviours that try to support it. Within each individual is a degree of conflict in these points, 'I want this and that, but if I have this, I can't have that'.
What is a person to do when one's own story and set of wants is incompatible with itself? Well, in my opinion, it is to slowly chip away at the conflicts within and find ways to improve our behaviours. This is part of the personal evolution of us as individuals.
However, this has an effect on our environment as every movement (change), has a consequence. In a community, our behaviours effect the thoughts, words and actions of others in various ways and will inevitably impact on them also. This is partly how shifts in group habits, traditions and cultural rules shifts over time. This is the evolution of society.
But, evolution of a species itself is dictated by the larger environment and is pushed and pulled depending on our ability to use the tools available from the past to manipulate the immediate requirements. As far as we know without bringing aliens into the conversation, humans are the most adept adapters and the most skillful influencers of our environment so, rather than being passively pushed, we can actively direct our own evolution.
This has obvious opportunity for both flourishing and destruction of humanity and the things it has influence upon but, it is a continual shift nonetheless as if it stops, if it is unchanging, it is dead. There is nothing long with death but again, is that anyway to live?
For the most part, I am not logical in my thinking yet, I have not met anyone who truly is as they subscribe to some reference points under the assumptions that those reference points are solid. The only logical premise that seems to hold true is that change is inevitable and that must be applied to all things. This includes people, society, culture, rules and most importantly for all of those things, the narrative of the individual.
We all have the capacity to change, we all have the ability to shift our perceptions, imagine differently, negotiate our methods, discuss our thoughts an shift our behaviours. But, this doesn't mean that there will be a smooth path to do so, that all have the same toolkit available or, will be granted the same access of support. Equality is impossible.
It is impossible as to have equality means all are the same and all are in the same position, with the same this, that and the other thing. Evolution means change, growth and difference and it is impossible for every point to simultaneously and instantaneously change uniformly. Evolution itself is not fair, that is the way it is designed.
But, having said this, we as a community able to direct ourselves to some degree need not be completely bound by randomness of design as randomness of design has granted us special access to have heavier influence over how and where we walk. Potentially, at the core of things, we have no choice in the matter but from an experiential perspective, we do as we are able to change our narratives and therefore, behaviours to some degree.
Is this evolution a fast process? Not particularly considering the life of a human but considering the evolution of a species, we are evolving faster than crocodiles. Does it lead to a utopia of some sort? Not necessarily it is just as likely to lead to our annihilation of ourselves and planet. Why bother trying to change if change is inevitable anyway? Directed change vs Random change is different as is a life led by instinct or one lived under examination.
My narrative is that we as individuals and members of a society can change our behaviours and it is the discussions we have with ourselves and with each other that will slowly shift us onward. I might be wrong and even if correct, I am unlikely to see much movement in my lifetime but, to stand back as an observer and believe one doesn't have an impact on the system is 'No way to live' according to the story I tell myself.
The belief that I am not set in stone is what helps me move. True or False.
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
Now, I have to get off the train.
Indeed. If Steem is to evolve, we all need to evolve and change our behavior. It doesn't work if it's only a few people... Leading/living by example doesn't work too well on this platform as I have learned.
I think the desire for money and the envy and jealousy of someone being successful gets people to want to take them down, even if they got their by playing the "game" fair and square. So leading by example doesn't make people change or stop you from getting taken down :P
It is the same problems over and over isn't it? Not enough acting well, too many acting on greed. the game is created by humans and is always flawed so, the game has to continually keep evolving. I feel that at the moment it is devolving though.
Leading by example is really only a nice sentiment, the road is hard and always comes at a cost. Does it make it less valuable or more?
I cared about Steem, and wanted to change the world for the better through info on Steem. I played fair. I tried to live by an example, promoting things that were in the best long term for Steem and the world (moral behavior)... but some didn't like me for those topics because they didn't live up to the standards I was putting forth, and so they disliked me for being successful for talking about things that they saw themselves lacking in. And so the flagging began to shut me up and shut me out. People didn't want to get involved in the issue, and some were losing curation rewards, so poof went a large part of my support. What did all that speaking up... not much in the end... Steem is not a place where doing whats right overcomes the desire for being liked by popular rich power players. Most people just wanted to stay out of the flagging issue, and stick to keeping the rewards coming in. When people don't unite on a problem, nothing happens. So i kept getting flagged for months. People even said I was the problem, or that I was just complaining because I didn't propose solutions, even though I did. And even if I don't propose solutions in each post, people should be aware of the problem regardless. But people don't want to hear about it, and prefer to just ignore the problem.
Living by and setting better standards amounted to not doing much in the end... apart from me getting taken down lol. I wasn't listened to by the majority, only a few appreciated the work. So it's valuable to some, like dan appreciated it, but overall not so much. Trying to do things right and play the game to get rewarded didn't work in my favor, it worked against my overall self-interests.
Yeah, I don't expect much else other than personal value from it overall. It would be nice to be otherwise but, it rarely is.
I wonder if it was also the size of the platform before as everyone was more visible and crossed paths much more often. I don't know how many were active a year ago but I remember it being about 15,000 or so, not even that. maybe there was a bit more cabin fever?
I have resigned myself to a return of mediocrity for the most part. My kind of thing is unlikely to ever get consistent support. But, I will just keep doing my thing anyway as I am terrible at playing games.
Yup, keep doing my thing too haha :)
A very sweeping and far-ranging post, thank you Taraz. As a psychologist I couldn't agree more that changing our narrative is one of the more important things we can do. Your post brought to mind a book I carried around India when I went there seeking my own change, the book was by two Palo Alto psychologist, a slim book simply entitled Change.
I especially liked your connecting these issues to society and species. I think sites like steemit also provide leverage for even greater change.
Authorfriendly
Thanks and welcome. As not a psychologist it is nice to have you here and your input will be appreciated by many I am sure. You will likely argue with me at times ;) as I am more of an observational thinker without foundation other than my own experiences.
Yes, I think Steemit and similar have the potential for a lot of discussions to take place that may not be possible in other areas as for the most part, the introduction of potential reward tempers the trolling and extremes of emotion. The feeling permanency likely also plays a hand.
I always have more stuff coming but, I have a lot behind too if you ever get bored.
I agree with you we can change our behaviors and we do I think but it takes time to evolve. I am living in a Tribal society and I have seen many evolutions but it is a slow process.
Wow nice one Mr taraz. And as always, thought provoking. I love the way you view things most if the time and would want to ask. How about we your ardent followers suggest a topic and you write about it?
You seem to have a vast knowledge about a lot of things and truely I would love to know your opinion about something's you night feel comfortable discussing that bothers me.
About your article ....
It is true that behaviours can be changed but personality can't . This has been a subject of confusion to me and to many. Most times we tend to try to change a person's personality but the question is, how do we differentiate between a person's personality and a person's behaviour coz for instance ....I have a female friend who argues a lot. She never admits aher mistakes and gives a reason for every single thing she does. Right or wrong . I have been having a very hard time trying to make her change but she keeps saying it's her personality . Now from what you said, behaviours can be learned and unlearned but personality can't. Isn't it possible that she must have learnt the art of argument because she studied law. Or is it just her personality to argue.
I think personality is too broad a term. I think the part that cant change (or what would be hardest to change) is what psychologists call temperament. I followed a number of multiple birth families and saw these temperamental differences be apparent in days and stable across the otherwise highly fluctuating 0-5 years, so I am pretty sure they are fairly fixed. Some personality traits are closer to temperament, and others change dramatically in adolescence and other times of transition.
Hypothetically (and not pleasant to think about), could a person's temperament be affected through violence. Could I take a calm temperament and shift it through harsh conditioning? Why I ask is if it could go one way, could it go another? Could a violent temperament potentially shift toward calm? Now, it could of course be argued that it is only 'behavioural' again but it would be impossible to tell, at least from the outside and potentially from the inside too. I am nt sure if I explained that well but I reckon you will understand enough.
When I am saying temperament I am thinking largely genetic components, things like being fussy/calm. A blow to the head can lead to a permanent change, taking out the part of you that inhibits impulses for example. A harsh upbringing can build wiring differently (People with PTSD often have hair trigger perception, and they also respond differently to their impulses) I am curious about "permanent" changes due to the environment. But harsh conditioning as in mind control is overkill, you could brainwash someone much more easily with just getting them to change the stories they tell themselves.
It depends on what temperament means. But I'm sure you can make a previously calm person a jumpy nervous wreck by exposing them to the right circumstances. It happens to soldiers and civilians in wars all the time.
It it routinely done in psychiatric hospitals nowadays.
But if you define temperament as genetic predisposition active in crucial developmental stages, then a change of temperament is obviously impossible because by that predisposition is a historical fact: the development of temperament may have had an epigenetic component. (Epigenetics is the study of the effects of changes in gene expression rather than the genetic code itself.)
I have been planning this for awhile but haven't trialled it yet.
She will change by herself or won't, that is her life to lead. But, personality can change massively, it just needs the right conditions. We are all much more malleable than we care to admit and we have many sides to us. Under the right conditions, one person can be capable of great cruelty or compassion. maybe it can't change if you see it as already containing every facet but, which face is shown certainly can change.
True. At all times I am a student and a teacher. The attitude I choose (perhaps my most important choice of each moment) shines through my words and behavior. That is how I influence the world around me. Sometimes effective, sometimes not, but I think it's the best I can do.
The world is constantly evolving so we should also learn to be flexible with our behavior positively. Lets not allow society dictate our attitude or outlook but change in behavior should be a conscious effort so it can be channelled right.
I really like how you write @tarazkp. It compels me to reflect and while I have, at one point, thought about these things too, you articulate them in ways I never could. You're so awesome! 👍