The problem with not knowing is that we don't know we don't know. Even when we think we know that we don't know we are unable to ever understand the depth of our unknowing. Confused? well, I don't really know, but I think I may know something.
We all like to feel pretty smart in this life, like to feel as if we understand what is going on and how it all works. We like to think that what we know is valuable to our position, valuable to the world yet, rarely do we acknowledge that knowing what we do has got us to where we are to this point.
Perhaps you are content being where you are currently, perhaps you would even like to stay there forever but, is this possible? Is it possible to hold your position whilst the world swirls around, the tides push and pull. Being stationary is impossible, the influences are too strong, change is inevitable.
The problem with these changes though is that even when self-directed, one can never be sure how the change is going to interact with the swirling currents unconsidered in the planning. Even those that are considered rarely go completely to plan, there is always a degree, two or more away from bullseye.
And then, even when things go as planned, the change in the environment catalyses other changes and chain reactions shoot out to fracture the ice on which life walks. It is in a continual state of flux, control is largely an illusion.
Should this stop us from moving, stop us from pushing? Because knowledge is always limited and always will be, should this stop us from searching? Some people seem to subscribe to a 'what you don't know can't hurt you' mentality but in their experience, is this true?
Obviously not as not knowing about something doesn't mean it will not have an affect on experience, what it does mean though is that one becomes a victim of experience, things happen with no explanation, life is unfair.
And from what I witness, the more unfair one believes life to be, the more unwilling they are to attempt to affect it. It seems that if life is really unfair, it doesn't matter what I do, I am always a victim of it, always at its mercy. Are you this way, does it empower you? Do you feel activated to move or are you resigned to stand and let the currents drag you under?
I ask because I am not this way so I am curious. Well, that is not true, I was this way but I have shifted to act differently instead. To become proactive rather than reactive, to search instead of wait for answers to fall into my lap.
When I was young I become ill, I still am. I have a chronic inflammatory bowel disease. I don't know why it chose me and I spent years a victim of circumstance, bed-ridden, depressed, broken. I asked from doctors, I asked my parents, I even asked from a god i do not believe in, 'Why me?'
The worst part about the illness was there were no answers, no solution, not even the medication helped relieve the symptoms. Why? they helped others, why not me also? Not knowing meant that I had no way forward and if the experts could not provide clarity, what hope is there?
So, I sat, I lay, I became passive. I became a victim. My health faded further, my mind plunged into the depths of the darkness and I didn't care. I had all but given up on ever living a normal life. And then one day I realised I am not normal, I am exceptional.
Even in the darkness I was exceptional, perhaps because of it. I am not smart, I am not beautiful, I am not overly talented at anything yet I am unique. The thing I didn't know, the most important thing in the world one needs to learn is 'Who I am'. What makes me, me?
This realisation that I had failed to ask the most basic of question made me curious. How many other victims of life like me have failed to ask the same? So, I started my search, I want to know. I say want because it is an impossible journey I think, there is no conclusion.
It is this way because every step I take, both influences me and the world I step upon which means it has changed in some way and that change will reverberate and create more changes that will return to change me again. I is a symphony of continual movement, a never ending dance.
What I have discovered is that we are told to focus, centre, find our core but, at least as far as I have travelled this journey, this plan is flawed, a fool's errand. We have no core, there is no centre, there is likely no boundaries at all but from a practical sense, this is unhelpful, it is too large to work with, at least for me.
Instead, I am looking for the boundaries, looking to see where I end and you start but where is this line when I influence you and you me? Do we not then become a part of each other in some way. When I consider your thoughts, do they become mine, are they still yours or are they now part of a collective?
My actions are guided by genetics, millions of years of evolution to get to this point. Does this make me a victim of ancestry? When it comes to this level of existence, how different are we? Should we find out or keep pretending that the tiny differences matter while massive questions are left begging for attention?
We like to think that we are unique from the group, different, special yet in the reality of things, we are all largely the same.What makes us unique is our ability to keep searching for answers as a community, keep developing our collective knowledge even though no matter how far we go, how much we learn, there will always be more hidden in the unknown.
As we take our steps further into that darkness, we discover more about ourselves but this discovery also changes us. how does it affect us, how do we change?
For me, life is a continual spiralling of experience that affects we and I in turn affect. Sometimes I benefit, sometimes I am harmed. I am a victim of circumstance, I did not choose my life, I do not think anyone did but, I am not a victim of myself.
Instead of worrying about all of the things outside of my influence, i will learn what I can, I will learn to find my potential and utilise it to make life a little better. It is unlikely I will ever see the results for results imply end, the only end I will see is that of my own experience.
We tend to spend so much time passive because of the way we feel and we think that the way we feel is because of something external. The actions of others, their words, their expressions, what they have, how they think... external events don't change our feelings, they draw them out of us, amplify them so we can take notice.
They aren't the world's problem to deal with, they are our own, most are just too unwilling to search for themselves.
This is for me, I don't know about you.
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
I also have an "incurable" illness (chronic fatigue syndrome) that led me into a similar dark place as you describe. But I also have found great hope and understanding from this low ebb. I found the part of myself beyond my intellect that I see now is the true core of who and what I am. I could see that all of my negative thoughts and feelings were just that, thoughts and feelings, and that "I" or the real me, was the one who had the choice to believe these thoughts and feelings or not. As soon as I freed myself from the viscous cycle of negative thoughts and feelings, my health began to turn around and has constantly improved ever since tis moment. It is from this place that I find it much easier to see the "things we don't know", when we are not fixated on how uncomfortable we feel not knowing.
Hope you find relief from your condition, and answers to the "unknowns" in your life.
You have some deep thoughts here.
I do believe “moving” as you say is necessary to stay healthy in an rapidly changing world. As technology improves on an exponential rate we need to embrace it and this requires us to change and adapt with times so we aren’t left behind.
For example people who never learned how to use a computer or how to use the internet have some disadvantages today when trying to interact online because this sector has evolved so much they have a lot of things to learn and because of this they might get a little bit overwhelmed.
That’s why we need to go with technology and embrace all of the beautiful innovations it provide us.
Humans can not exist without one another and nothing is independent. we all are affected by each other's actions. you're children's evolve with all the knowledge you gained throughout your life. Social Isolation is deadly. We all are co-dependent, no one is special. we should be grateful for the life we as one can always find himself in a worse situation.
No one is a victim as there is no one to blame the bad stuff.
So be thankful for what you have, and live the life with the fullest means possible.
Cheers!!
@arrjey , writing a post in comment section are trends of steemit now a days. Lol
@tarazkp Who knows and knows that he knows is wise. Still, even wise people can't realize how much there is they don't know and I bet what they ignore they didn't know is actually much more. Mind Blown!
Nice read, I was instantly influenced as it seems! I just read my comment so far and couldn't help laughing. But it's true!
#Upvoted
Have a great day!
Hi Taraz, nice article.
Here are some thoughts about knowledge and uncertainty that I like:
The beginning of knowledge is the realization that we don't know.
The only certainty is uncertainty. Sooner we accept that, sooner we will become of best possible versions.
I'm new to Steemit and I've just posted a somewhat similar article - it's about human life worth and potential for enjoyment. Would love to hear your opinion about it. : )
That is why we must continue to learn and understand each and every day :)
The problem with knowing is that you will always think that you don't, so you will spend most your life looking for what you don't know. it's good to know but i think it's a tricky way of living a one life. Maybe we need to settle for some facts and concentrate on what we know already.
It's true, it's just about how we think about most things that causes the problems. We don't really have so much problems as we think.
Nice and thoughtful post.
(IBDs) medical conditions, are a bunch of nasty ailments and health conditions quite difficult to deal with and hard to find a single universal solution to alleviate them.Yes my dear friend @tarazkp.
It is pretty clear that the very diverse variety of them and their multiple causes and origins that produce the symptoms and clinical picture of these diseases. Even when similar with the outcomes, there are too many variables involved to find an infallible treatment to cure them definitively.
As you already should know by now, I am a scientist. Not specifically a medical one btw. But certainly, a formidable and magnificent daredevil researcher who performs within Tech Waters with absolute ease diving way deep, looking for and scrutinizing every unsuspected corner of the public NETWORK.
So, I offer to do some research on my own through those hidden, remote and recondite depths of knowledge down there. If you care to privately share with me, on steemit.chat, the exact name of your diagnosis. I promise you I would be able to find something new that you have never heard before. :)
Meanwhile, you well could like to take a quick glance to this link. Probably one that you already knew about. But maybe it's worth revising it again one more time.
I will always wish you well my friend. Cheers!! :)
@tarazkp nice post, your post always makes me ponder on things. Anyway, merry christmas!
Nice story.
Indeed a great story. Thanks buddy