Hello, fellow steemians, sorry I have not been posting for some while, as a student and an entrepreneur, what more can make ones life in Nigeria?
I would be finishing up my piece of war from the view point of a dying soldier. Kindly read and upvote
And i held on to the light of my memories, good, happy memories of my family.
And the good memory ran into memories of bloodshed, battle cries, flying bodies, I frantically tried to shut of the insanity.
And i fell into a hopeless mirage, walking into a field so green,
a family so happy, faces filled with smiles.
And the darkness crept in again, green turned black,
smiles became tears, loud bitter cries.
And i wept for pains and tears choked me,
the contract I signed floating before me like a feather in the air.
The contract was in red, dripping red ink,
was that my blood? Tears turned to fear.
And i thought of how it all began, the joy of being a hero, the joy of being a protector.
But it last not for long, for the battle cries drowned that joy.
And this is the prayer of a fallen soldier- a hero one day, a dead man the next,
This is my creed; I am a soldier, warrior by choice, In this life and the next.
Hmmm, nice poetry...
I observe a rise and fall in intonation and then a sudden rise again on the last line.
At first it was a steady rise in form of sharp events around and then it drops tactically into pity and unhappiness.
One would however imagine that the poem ends on a sad note until the last line where the narrator actually seems to know his calling.
And by far the best line
Nice critic. You really understand the complexity of the poem. You need to read the part 1 to get a crystalized picture of the soldiers dilemma. Thanks for reading though.
Ahh, Not a critic, you got me wrong there bro.
i simply analysed the poem,
i don't know how to critic,
I'm just a poet myself.
Apropos: i don't see anything wrong with your poetry
Congratulations @aboy! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOP