You made it sound as if you really know what it is like to have experienced violence. Whether I am right or not does not matter, what does matter is that you were able to put the message across in a realistic manner.
I'm seeing a lot of poetry out of Africa (I also live in Africa, but I'm a Cypriot) and it pleases me. Keep in mind, song and stories are a reaching out by the heart. Poetry is a reaching out by the soul.