The bittersweet ache of this poem! That limbo of waiting.
"Waiting" is such a passive verb, but paired with "relentlessly" it becomes an action taken, a decision, something you do rather than something that is done to you. Just that one pairing of words... the whole poem seems to hinge on that pairing. Through it, the minimalism of the other lines takes on a kind of hopeless urgency. This is expertly written, and beautiful to read. Thank you for posting it. Following :)
Hi @bennettitalia, thank you for appreciating my poem and for hearing out the message.
And thank you for the support, also followed you. ☺
Thank you @superstarxtala! Check out the collaborative poem I started, just for fun and to build community in the poetry section of steemit: https://steemit.com/poetry/@bennettitalia/steemit-collaborative-poetry-experiment
This is just a fun experiment, it's already getting pretty silly, but I would be honored if you'd like to contribute a couple of lines :)
Also, If you have time to take a look at some of my work, I'd love to hear what you think:
https://steemit.com/poetry/@bennettitalia/capitulation-a-poem-by-bennettitalia
https://steemit.com/poetry/@bennettitalia/honesty-a-poem-by-bennettitalia
Haha you're right.
Dropped two lines for the poem, not sure if it fits. 😅
And sure, I'll check out your other works. 😁
I think those lines are awesome! I like where they're taking it, I'm actually, unbelievably) in a little bit of suspense to see what happens next lol. Thanks for contributing!
I forgot to ask you - would you be willing to please upvote the post when you have a chance, so I can add your lines? :)
Sorry, I thought I already did. Hehe
Done anyway. Maybe I was too focused on devuding what to put next on the poem.😅😅✌
thank you @superstarxtala! Added.