“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” ― Jane Austen
I suppose the fact that I grew up in a house with four men is probably the reason for my general "attitude problem" (hahaha ok, I know it isn't a problem...lol) but many of the male counterparts that I cross paths with seem to have a really hard time accepting a female with a brain, and even worse... a mouth gawd, the horror! It is interesting actually... well no, not interesting, but borderline amusing - because most men will openly admit that this quality is one which they find enormously attractive in a woman, yet most of them only seem to be comfortable with it, "from a distance" if you will... and the one primary thing that attracted them to you in the first place, often eventually becomes the one attribute of yours which they cannot handle further down the line.
Being the youngest in the family and the only girl, living with my three older brothers and my dad, I was definitely not in the majority…haha! Every day was like survive or die with that lot I tell you! haha! So yes - in many respects, I will display character dynamics which are very parallel to that of a man. I am opinionated, sometimes arrogant, stubborn and I very seldom back down to something I don't agree with.
Now, don't misunderstand me... I am not saying that ALL men are this way inclined, but the men in my family most certainly are. Yes, they are all also very loving and compassionate men... excellent husbands and amazing fathers, BUT... there is NO shortage of testosterone there... and I suppose to large degree, much of this has rubbed off on me too...
I have suffered more teasing than anybody else I know lol… have been taunted and whipped with a dish cloth more times than I care to remember and for some strange reason, I really don't like chappies chewing gum laced with peri-peri spice....lol...I cannot imagine why not ;)
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My point is, I was constantly ridiculed and belittled by my elder brothers, which as far as sibling rivalry goes, is pretty normal... but on the flip side of that coin, I was also subjected to their behaviour on a day to day basis, so I very quickly learnt how they handle situations - and eventually began to mimic that. Everything they displayed in character, I learnt and as I had no real basis for comparison, this is what and who I became too... (naturally so). Yeah... Growing up with older brothers is not for sissies I’ll tell you that much! BUT - it did teach me some VERY important life lessons and skills... one of which was INDEPENDENCE as well as the the ability to stand my ground and speak my mind.
I can recall many occasion standing in the sidelines of the passage, being witness to any one of many combinations of two of the men in our house rolling down the passage like tumbleweed as they had disagreed on one thing or another... Many times this is how certain things are dealt with by young men and it really does not take a rocket scientist to figure out why exposure to male behaviour on a daily basis would affect me and my character development too.
An example: At one stage we had two dogs and one cat. The cat adopted the habits and behaviour of the dogs... it did not want to eat its treat meat on a counter all alone, it would pick it up, throw it on the floor and eat alongside the dogs. There was another time, when we had two cats and one dog... and the dog adopted the character traits of the cats... and would run along the backs of our couches... Make sense? No? Let me put it this way...
If a man raises his hand to me you can be damn sure I will return the favour. I may come off second best, as the differences in physical strength are a simple reality... but it will not stop me from attempting to stand up for myself! I may have tolerated endless torture from my brothers, but they played a pivotal role in building a strength within me that I don't think even they expected haha!... and that ENORMOUS WILL to stand on my own two feet... you know... to "SHOW THEM" that I too, can be "TOUGH and INDESTRUCTIBLE" is what shaped me into who I am today and for that I am very, very grateful!
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Not everyone likes and intelligent, opinionated and independent woman, but then again, not everybody matters lol!
“I believe in strong women. I believe in the woman who is able to stand up for herself. I believe in the woman who doesn't need to hide behind her husband's back. I believe that if you have problems, as a woman you deal with them, you don't play victim, you don't make yourself look pitiful, you don't point fingers. You stand and you deal. You face the world with a head held high and you carry the universe in your heart.” ― C. JoyBell C.
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Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
FOUNDER OF THE POWERHOUSE CREATIVES & STEEM SOUTH AFRICA
A community of individuals who are dedicated to producing quality content
which adds value to the Steem network and beyond.
Connecting the people of #STEEM across South Africa. #steemsa
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Thank you :)
With pleasure!
Love, Purrs & Hedbonks...... From a distance of course.... LoL
hahahaha well said!!! ;)
LOL That sounds like me too! - Most of the time anyway lol
Great blog - I enjoyed reading it - why are you no longer posting on Whaleshares?
Thanks hon :) Appreciate the positive input. As for whaleshares and everywhere else - I simply do not have the time anymore to actively engage all over the place, so I made the decision some time back to filter my focus... and life is a lot easier now haha :)
If the dog has learned from cats and the cat from dogs ... obviously the life around so many men has shaped you in a certain way. I have grown up among many women and now I realize how much this has influenced me.
It most certainly does affect our character development without question!
Of course, I found it on my skin.
Being raised by cats or dogs would be interesting.
Funny how they related with the animals and not the humans....maybe its easiesr for them?
hahahahaha yes that would be amusing to say the least! And yes it is quite fascinating and I think you are probably right.
That covers 90% of men. lol. They love the theory, but hate the reality. (idiots)
hahahahahaha true story!
Not the same sport, but in the same ball park....
https://steemit.com/blog/@lucylin/short-story-looking-in-the-mirror-and-feeding-the-beast
I get it @jaynie! I worked as the only female in a mans world for many years, standing up for yourself was imperative! This sounds oh so familiar, lol Love it!
So true! And thanks for the positive vibes hon xxx
Love it! It's also why I was so grateful to have my two daughters after having four sons. ;-)
hahaha I know my mom can relate to that as well. She had 3 sons before she got the daughter she wanted... and then I turned into a hellion HAHAHHAA!!!!
Yip, all that you said about you truly comes out in your blogs and on discord too :D
My mum (the oldest) and a couple of her sisters are a lot like you
But it wasn't emulating traits in the men of the family.
For them, it was just survival of the fittest in a big family with some challenges.
In fact, their characters are hardier and sharper than some of the men they grew up with.
But the undertones of both situations, yours and theirs are the same in the sense - "Do or Die"
Having said that, not all her sisters in the family turned out like this.
One gave in to the pressures and had mental disorders... funnily that made these sisters even stronger.
Mum had another sibling that gave in to the pressures... and it was a brother.
Now, I've said this, I'm thinking it is Part Nature Part Nurture ....just wondering...
You, keep being you... you are pretty amazing <33
Not sure if that is a good or bad thing :D LOL!!!!!!
That is terribly sad but yes, it unfortunately does happen. I was actually saying just that to my father last night on the phone. Not all people are emotionally and mentally equipped to handle certain levels of pressure etc.
MWAH! Thank you love! Appreciate the love!
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Lovely, as always!
Have light show you the way!
Thanks @spellmaker :) Nice to see you around!
I’m very independent too, but it is just my nature - very different childhood from yours - no brothers!
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lucky you... hahahahahaha!!!! ;)
I have had a couple of colleagues that came from South Africa, and throughout the many stories they told, it was evident that it's still a "in transformation" place, but hard enough to keep "building" great people in this world.
Your introspective is quite amusing to read actually. Not because I have intentions to mock you, but because I kind of feel part of what you experienced with some loved ones (in a different context). Anyway, I love a great story, and when them represent personal stuff, then even more tasty it gets. Like direct character in some doses, sometimes.
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"transformational" would be an understatement haha!!!
Thanks for the positive feedback on the piece @forykw - it is always appreciated x
I don't expect things handed to me as a woman, not all the time but I know when I have to act like a male to get anything done or taken seriously.
Different place and different style.
HA! LOVE IT! and Well said!
Yeah because, not everyone is confident enough to stand up to them. But again, most women are born strong. Its hard wired in us.
If you meet anyone who hates you for some unknown reason beyond you being confident, opinionated, smart and independent, dump them! they do not deserve you.
I could not agree more!
Howdy jaynie! LOVE the cover photo! Nice pieces. Wonderfully powerful quotes you have and it's so interesting that at the time when you were growing up you probably felt like your situation sucked. lol...But that was your strength builder.
So true @janton! - So VERY true and I would say is the case with most frustrating, difficult or challenging situation and circumstance in life.
Thank you for the positive feedback on the blog itself xxx
Being a girl raised in a house with four males would certainly make you or break you. I’m happy you survived it all and came out stronger.
I’m the oldest and there was a big age difference between me and my younger siblings. I never had much interaction with them but the hard knocks of life itself has taught me to always stand up for what I believe and never go with the flow.
Me too hahaha!!!
Bingo!
I bet you got the whole "with that attitude you'll never find a husband" bs right?
hahaha well I cannot say that I recall anyone directly saying that to me, but that is not to say they didnt think it, which they probably did lol! I did however find a husband but divorced after 8 years and what he eventually detested in me whilst we were married, he once again admires in me now... what a chop! haha - too little too late ;)
Well, that's just relationships in general. I don't think he ever stopped admiring you, it's just that all people that spend too much time together tend to start crashing at some time. That's why I prefer to stay single and love freely when nice people come my way and let go when we need to grow in diferent directions :D
I don't think I would want to mess with you @jaynie 🤣🤣🤣
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wahahahahaha @wonderwop... I am not thaaaaat bad ;)
Nice post ! 😇
thank you :)