Children cry when they realize they are different from others.
It happens very young, even at 2 or three years old. One notices his or her physical traits are different from others. Later one realizes difference in personality and even in psychological traits.
Some define these differences as weaknesses.
One man has a short nose and the other has a long nose. The irony is that they both envy each other. The man with the long nose wants a short nose and the man with a short nose wants a long nose. Life is filled with these weaknesses we call frailties.
On a physical level we see people like Nick Vujicic swim and play golf even though he does not have any arms or legs. He lives in a big house on the beach in California and has a beautiful wife and four kids. We think he is lucky. But there is a lot more to it. He found strength in his weakness.
Most people don’t want to even think about their weaknesses. But without coming to terms with our weaknesses we can never meet our full potential.
If you asked me when I was 15 years old to write down everything I don’t like about myself I would tell you to go F*#% yourself.
But I bet the list would look something like this:
- I don’t like my big nose.
- I don’t like being average height.
- I don’t like getting ticked off so easily.
- I don’t like being antisocial.
- I don’t like having to take care of my baby brothers.
- I don’t like living in a noisy crazy house.
These were the things I didn’t like about my set up. (Notice I said "set up" not "setback")
They were my frailties.
Someone could punch me in the nose easily and give me a broken nose. It happened in 6th grade in the alley when a fist blew right across my nose.
I never really liked playing basketball as a child. I was average height and had to hold my hands in the air so much my arms got tired.
My character was also frail. I wanted to be somebody people liked and I wanted to say good things but I either said nothing or said something sarcastic or exploded by hitting something.
I spent my afternoons watching cartoons and Sesame Street with my three old brother instead of watching MTV and pretending to do my homework. During the week all kinds of kids joined my mom’s home daycare and I was her assistant. On the weekends I would have to make up games for my little brothers to play. At night I told them stories or read books to put them to sleep because my parents were exhausted.
I envied other kids my age who had only one or two siblings and I dreamed of having a “normal life”.
Each weakness became my strength
I had no idea at the time but each of my weaknesses became my strength thirty years later. As silly as it sounds my big nose is one of the things keeping my employed today. For some reason Korean people cannot resist a big nose. Even when I wear a mask they still look in wonder at the foreigner. This gives me at least 20 seconds of attention. Whenever I speak I have an audience for at least enough time to “get in the door”.
Being average height also helped a lot in Korea. Most of the people I met twenty years ago in Korea were shorter than me. If I was any taller, then they would have to look up to me to speak to me. Being an average height helped me to meet people at eye level. More importantly in elementary school children feel free to come up to me and tell me anything.
This gets pretty funny when a kid comes up to me and says,
“My mom is looking for a boyfriend.”
The fact is the kids aren’t afraid of me and can say whatever they want. The even cooler thing is they are using the English I taught them to do it. If I was ten centimeters taller they would have a more difficult time to come up to me and say whatever was on their mind.
Being antisocial doesn’t mean I have no friend. It just means that I didn’t follow social norms. I had just graduated from college with a science degree. I had a year’s work experience in a genetics lab and was ready to go to medical school but I wasn’t going. I was ready to try something completely different and it turns out that fit me real well. I wouldn’t have known that if I had not been at least a little anti-social.
As for the family I am very glad to be born and raised in a big family of many children and even a home day care center in our house. I learned to use puppets, tell stories and share imaginations with little children. Over time I became good at it.
For the past twenty years I thought I was an English teacher but looking back at my life I see that I am a lot more. I am a big brother and a father and an entertainer. For some of these kids I am a celebrity. When a third grader saw me in the hall he asked for my autograph. It seems that many of my frailties have become my strengths.
Another Generation of Frailty
When I look at my own children it is hard to see beyond how lovable they are, but when I look a little deeper down I can see their frailties. One son wanted to be an artist but as time went one he discovered he is color blind.
It is so sad to look at the scenery with him together. He told me one day,
“Dad, I really like that rainbow colored building.”
I was looking right at it and I saw green and grey stripes on an ordinary beige building. I said,
“It does look like a rainbow doesn’t it? But let’s ask your mom and brother.”
They were like,
“Hey, there is only green and grey.”
He know he is color blind. It doesn’t mean he cannot see any colors. He can see bright colors well. He just cannot distinguish colors in dim lighting. So sometimes he imagines the colors are there when they are not. He may still become a great visual artist with the help of computers. I really don’t know how this frailty will become his greatness but I will not be surprised if it does.
My other son is diagnosed with dyslexia, dyscalculia and ADHD. He calls it 80 HD. Each month he faces the evil doctor Focusim. For a while it has been a setback. When other students have to work at something two or three times he has to work at it twenty or thirty times. He has to look at from seven or eight different angles until he got it. But when he got he applies that technique to other problems. It is a very slow way to learn but he is so excited about learning.
When he learns something he tells everyone and if no one is around he teaches it to his stuffed animals. Today he was lecturing a squirrel about the difference between greater than and greater or equal to. He is a natural comedian and song writer. It is his frailties that made him a wonderful kid.
As time goes all of our frailties will culminate into perfection. Perhaps by that time we won’t be much more than a pile of dust, but what are we anyway but a clump of dust?
"...my power is made perfect in weakness."
cover photo is a Mineopoly original
I still don't see how any group could call themselves "Kansas", but here again is another example of how frailty is turned into great music.
Thanks for sharing a little more about you. I could feel that you put your heart into this text. And your heart is beaultiful.
This topic got my attention and ends up sending a chill into my system
This article is more captivating because it’s very personal
Thanks for reading and bearing with a few of my weaknesses. I am thankful that in time I can see a purpose for a lot of what has happened in this life time. !LUV
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This people are beautiful set of kids
That scripture you quote from 2 Corint 12:9 is such an amazing scripture. It speaks of the power of God made whole in our weakness.
True, if only we accepted our weaknesses we could turn each of them into strengths.
When you talk about your children I am reminded of Thomas Alva Edison, no one believed in him except his mother.
Schools threw him out and his mother faith in him helped him became the greatest inventor of our times.
I am sure you will help your children see their true value.
I don’t call it disability, I call them special kids because they have uncommon strength
I love your comment
Thank you @sofs-su for your encouraging words and for reading the Bible,
I knew there were a few who would dig deeper into that verse. My spiritual journey is recorded mostly in private but occasionally overlaps with this blog.
My youngest son is now 10 and he comes to me with books he reads and tells me how so many great people have overcome dyslexia. These days he is excited to teach me everything he learns. His teachers may not know it but I'm confident he is learning deeper than any of the other students.
!LUV !PIZZA
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There is a strength hiding in all our frailty if we are patient enough with ourselves.
You just spoke my mind
Yes @funshee,
It make take more than thirty years and then you see only a glimpse, but that glimpse should be enough for each human being is totally amazing even the guys who came up to me at the bus stop yesterday harassing me for money. I love his soul but don't dig his style. !LUV
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This is very moving and encouraging too. We all have some frailties but despite that moving on is part of life. It's very important how we see it. You are an amazing father. !LUV to the kids, they are Rockstars. Let them shine and fly.
!PIZZA 😊👍
I didn’t only get emotional but I got educated and motivated
I’m in support of this motion
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You are amazing @vikbuddy,
Every once and a while I look at pob-wotw and realize the only way to be 100% myself.
!LUV
!PIZZA
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This is one of the best posts I've read here in quite some time! Thanks for sharing.
Along with my upvote, I am burning some POB to promote it.
(BTW, my 18yo son has ADD and my 10yo daughter has dyslexia -- so I can relate just a bit.)
Thank you for reading and relating. The upvote and gift to @null also helps a lot^^
It's good news that you were able to recognize your son and daughter's condition at an early age. Some parents don't know what is wrong when their kids are acting different and finally discover the problem when not much can be done.
It is really important to identify what condition there is just like when we notice a student can't see the board. They simply need a pair of glasses. Some correction and assistance is available. Heart breaking, but also eye opening to see the special needs and special talents of our children. It may be the struggle of having the condition itself that makes the child who he or she really is.
I like the way Michael Jr. thinks:
!LUV !WINE
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Thanks for sharing.
We are all filled with weakness and for each, a strength lies in.
I would say, the act of finding strength in our weakness and not giving up is the act of problem solving.
And facts is whatever you think as a weakness ... someone somewhere envy you for possessing such attribute.
Gifts are given to all but it takes a good eye to see what is really there.
Good luck with your strategy
!LUV
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Wow, this is superb, this writing really came from your heart. You used your weakness to gather strength.
Most of us too went through similar ordeal. Growing up I was a skinny child with really big ears, I used to see it as a weakness, it made me stay away from people, I became anti-social. But over the years I discovered that those skinny wrist of mine could get hold of a pencil and draw something to life, it's a part of me that really give me so much strength.
Then, I started to discover that I could move that skinny body well to make magic, without even stressing , dancing became natural for me. Whenever I'm feeling down and I hear music, my body just flows with the rhythm and performs its magic.
I love this post. Thank you for sharing...
Yes @chincoculbert,
If we think about our life I think each person has something that was really hard for them to deal with but has actual become their strength. This is what makes us special. It is not the great things we can do, but the little things that make us different. When we learn to use them we are really happy people. Thank you for sharing your story. I would love to see you dance one day. I also love to dance, but dance in private for my own health and enjoyment. It is a language that connects t the rhythm of the music and sometimes even tells a story what is inside the dancer.
!LUV !PIZZA
You are a talented fellow and intelligent guy @chicoculbert
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I'll save this in a part of my heart that'll never forget.
When I eventually have time to check out how 3speaks works I'll post some of my videos here for y'all to enjoy.
I would love to see you dance too @mineopoly , the joy that comes with dancing is unmistakable, and you're right, it tells the story of the dancer really well.
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Thanks. I'm always encouraged by you guys.
Do you think a 2-3 year old is big and smart enough to understand that they are different from the others? I don't think so. It's, intentionally or un-intentionally, the parents or our own people who make us realise this and get this in our minds and that's the reason we feel bad.
Even in the sensorimotor stage (1-2) children realize they are separate beings from the people and objects around them, but as they go from two to three they move into the preoperational stage of development they begin to see the perspective of others. I don't know about every kid, but my own child cried a lot because the other kids spoke Korean and he only knew English. He couldn't explain the problem to me until a couple years later. I just thought he was scared to be away from his parents. He knew he was different and the people around him were different before the age of three.
Hahaha the kid is advertising his mom already. It's a good thing that you're that free with your kids. What would be the use if the English teacher is dreaded by all the students.
We shouldn't ever let our frailties bring us down. We should always make the most of it. Turn the story around. It motivates people a lot.
Nice right up dear.
Thanks @wongi,
The kids at school and my own kids are not only the biggest annoyance in my life but also the biggest source of entertainment and joy... although POB is a very close second.
Lots of !LUV and some !PIZZA
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This is one of the best article here ever since I joined this platform and I’m seeing that like minded people have begun to fall in
Yes @one.alfa.pob,
Like minded people will continue to help each other and build up this community.
!LUV
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I can feel your heart, pain and emotions in this piece. This is really a job well done and an eye opener
Hi @john-brain,
Welcome to proof of brain community. Sorry I didn't see your comment earlier.
!PIZZA
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Enchroma glasses for colourblindness for your son? I've seen lots of video clips of people receiving them as surprise gifts and they are always very emotional and filled with gratitude when colour is introduced into their lives.This is another home run for me @mineopoly. A very heartwarming and genuine read. So relatable. I love how as an adult you are able to put a positive spin on everything that you once perceived as negative attributes in your life. That is gratitude in motion. Have you ever considered
Yes @samsmith1971,
He is a teenager now and I did talk to him about those glasses about a year ago. He said he didn't want them because he didn't think it was a big deal. He had been living with the condition and got used to it. Now that I think of it maybe that's just a cop out answer because he is a nice kid.
He can see bright colors well but out of direct light he can't tell brown, red, green or grey. He thinks he knows but a simple test and they are all mixed up. If he wore the glasses once he may get a picture of the world he couldn't even dream of. I will do some more research and see if those glasses would met his specific condition. When we looked the glasses seemed too expensive for him but I looked again and they are only around 400 USD so it is definitely worth looking into.
Honestly, life is not balanced - one might have something now but prefer what the other person has. People are not always satisfied with what they have - they always think what the other person has is more special or better than theirs forgetting that we are all different but that's what makes us human; our weaknesses.
Like I will always say our weaknesses are what makes us strong - you find your weakness you work on them you become a better person.
Nice blog @Mineopoly.
Hi @whiteangey,
Nice to meet you. I spend most of my middle school years in a suburb of an American city. The people were mostly German, Italian or Polish ancestry. During vacation time the girls would show off the tans they got in Florida or Hawaii. The other kids looked pale and thought if they got a tan they would look healthier. Later some of those friends who showed off their tans found out that they have skin cancer.
What is more ironic is I travel half way around the world and find a totally new people with beautiful tan skin and they spend hundreds of dollars a month to make it look pale. It's not even funny. It takes a long time and a lot of money before people realize that the way they are is already really awesome.
!LUV
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My point exactly!
We spend time admiring what others have without even knowing that those other people admire us also for what we have without our knowledge.
The best thing is for us to be ourselves at all times and keep improving in our own ways not to copy others!
Thank you my friend!