If you are anything like me, sometimes in the middle of the night while laying in bed and trying to go to sleep, suddenly an embarassing or stupid thing you did in the past will just pop into your head. This isnt only reserved for late at night though, this happens to me literally every day. For me, someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, this is commonplace and you get used to it, but im left wondering why I dont remember all the good memories instead of the bad ones.
I think theres probably two answers for this question, the first is more scientific and the second is more likely just reflective of how we live our day to day lives. The scientific version is most likely that while evolving, putting more emphasis on the bad things that happened to us, flat out keep us alive. We tend to not make the same mistake twice when we are traumatized from an experience so in terms of survival remembering what happened when you ate a certain berry or ate undercooked meat, is probably a benefit for our species in the long term.
However, even though our lives are filled with remnants of our days as more primitive creatures, this idea might not bode well in the modern era. We end up shutting ourselves in and avoiding life based on the small experiences that hurt us. Its much easier to stay shut off from the world and protect ourself because we remember the pain over the good. With most relationships, even great ones, in the end its the bad times you remember over the happiness you felt while in the relationship. I know many people who were in long term relationships that now shut down the possibility of future prospects because they dont want to go through the pain again.
Its very hard to fight how we are programmed by nature, but it is doable. I havent figured out how to do it, but many have and live happy lives. I think part of it is just going with the flow and in many cases accepting that despite the outcome, we as people cant stop living our lives. Time is the most precious commodity and many people, including me waste it for no other reason than we are afraid of the past repeating itself. I know I have many amazing memories, even during the times I was most anxious, but its really hard to remember them. I need to actively think on it.
Im trying to reprogram my brain to focus on the good rather than the bad, despite it being extremely challenging. Its a process that takes a lot of time and effort, especially when you experience so much on a daily basis. Letting things that happened in the past just melt away is the ultimate goal and to live life in the current and immediate future. I know that if I am unable to change my mind, I will ultimately futher box myself off from the experiences that make life wonderful. I suggest if you are like me, you try and do the same. Life is too precious and our time is too valuable to spend reliving the bad experiences we had in the past.
-Calaber24p
I think, the thinking brains are more hurt than a less functional one. Hyperactive centers of brain that can create a situation like this.
People who are more caring and emotional are vulnerable to these type of situations. The situation is not worst but the memories may be not good. You need to think positive, good moments and future ideas that will shadow your bad ones.
I think you are on to something here. Bad memories often hurt us soo much that it’s hard for us just to forget it. However in my childhood there was soo many not so good things I remember that turned out to be a great lesson and I’m thankful for these bad things. We often can benefit from bad memories.
Great post as always!
Its not just late at night and when faced with life, it turns out we are risk averse in what choices we take. Khaneman and Tversky got a nobel prize in economics for thier work on this and related topics. Even statisticians will express a preference for not losing when the odds would actually reward the unchosen more positively framed choice.
everything which you discussed is awesome about life or memories, your way of explanation is just amazing, you made my day. thanks for your amazing article about memories @calaber24p, keep sharing such stuff with the community, steem on
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Thanks for this post! It's much clearer now why my brain does that... I need to practice a lot and will definitely learn from this!
Wow man !! That was a good read. You thought pretty deep about it.
But it can be tackled easily with practice.
I remember those times when i used to think how awkward a situation was when i did that or this but then i thought, would those people be remembering it as many times as i am? Would they be thinking about how dumb or clumsy I behaved !!! Of course not. They might not even remember it when they meet me next time. So i practiced and stopped thinking about the bad things coz they don't do anything accept making me sad and negative.
Nice post !!! I post about the same things like psychology, philosophy etc. I loved it :)
I have the same problem like you . I will try your suggestion thanks a lot for the post@calaber24p
Excellent writing, good health, amazing post, thanks for sharing
I like the way you describing this must-have topic. I agreed bad memories popped up in your mind whenever you find time to sleep in the relaxing mode but suddenly these bad thoughts comes which is actually scientific and reflective both.
I also trying to focus on bad things but I can't escape from bad memories every time. I tried hard but couldn't get what I want. I tried to busy myself in other activities until I escaped from but all in vain. :(
Oh! Yeah! it's sOmetimes happens with me that situatiOn like you, If it's happens with me I also try to my mind to focus on the good memories rather than bad. I do that same like you :) thankyOu foh your suggestiOn.
Time itself is an illusion, a thought-made construct. We can think(!) about past and future but when we stop thinking we realize that there is only this moment. What adds on to our illusion of there being a past and future, however, is the fact that we tend to transfer old, outdated thought patterns into the present moment, which shuts close new, more healthy thoughts. Exactly the same old thought pattern we naturally transfer onto our future as well so that we are literally making ourselves dependent on and identify with our thoughts. So what do? The opposite to thinking is mental Silence. Thinking is an act of Doing, mental Silence is an act of Being. So, many people fear mental Silence, for it is seems as surrendering, unproductive and lazy. But what happens really when we stop thinking? We won't stop being, as many assume in their fear but we stop being our thoughts and identifying with our thought-made Self, allowing in more inner Peace by gradually reconnecting with our Heart, the source of all Positivity.
I hope I could enlighten you a bit :)
You are completely right. One of the memories that come back to me are when I had embarrassing moments, I’m 🤔...ing “oh man I should have done it differently”, but then I think “f..ck it, no one is perfect”
I also recently learned from steemien about brain having two sides. Left brain: calculating and asking questions: How much do I need it? Why do I need it? is it a tool? is it just for pure entertainment? is it going to be a good investment? will i use it often?
Right brain: How would I "feel" having "it"?
I agree . I have been trying to actively reprogram my brain to focus on the better instead of the worse. It seems to be working so far this year.
Probably because it could be a mechanism that allow us to learn and never forget the lessons we get from our mistakes.
Just as scars on our skin that remind us of our past injuries, our mind remembers bad experiences so we truly internalize what we did wrong, and that way we don't make the same mistake again.
I find myself that in a relationship or job, I’ll tend to remember the good things about it and forget the bad stuff. We are all different though.
I recognized this last year when I was thinking a lot about me and my life.
Since then I try to focus on the good things :-)
Thank you for this great article! I really love your content.
Have a good day!