Sometimes it is good to be alone - you can read a book, listen to the music or just watch TV. It is your time in which you can relax and rest. But being lonely is never pleasant because that means that you feel empty, alone and unwanted, craving for human contact. You can be surrounded by people or have a lifelong relationship and still experience a deep pervasive loneliness. It is not quantity that counts, it is the quality of social interaction that combats loneliness.
Researches show that more than nine million people in Britain often or always feel lonely, according to a 2017 report published by Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness. Research that was conducted by the British Government has found that about 200,000 older people in Britain had not had a conversation with a friend or a relative in more than a month, and about 6% of adults said they felt lonely all or most of the time. In the same year, psychologist John Cacioppo from the University of Chicago reported that around 19% of older Americans said they had felt lonely for much of the week before they were surveyed. These results are very similar to those reported in Britain in 1948 and in previous studies in America too, so we can freely say that we have an epidemic on our hands.
To deal with the problem of loneliness, Prime Minister of Britain Theresa May even appointed a Minister for Loneliness. The decision was prompted by researchers who discovered that loneliness is connected with cardiovascular diseases and strokes, increased stress levels, decreased memory and ability to learn, antisocial behavior, poor decision-making, alcohol and drug abuse, the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, depression, and suicide. Vivek Murthy, the former United States Surgeon General, has written that loneliness has an effect on our length of life similar to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
We can blame the modern society for feeling lonely. More than ever in the history of mankind, people are living and aging alone. Communication technologies gave us social media and internet, which enable us to have thousands of friends and followers, but it seems that they can’t replace human relationship which was meant to be done in person. Factors that significantly contribute to loneliness are physical isolation, moving to a new location, divorce, and low self-esteem.
Loneliness can be overcomed as long as we are ready to take initiative and make some changes in our lives. The first step may be doing some community service or other activity that we enjoy. It can be a great opportunity to meet new people, but we should focus on developing relationships with the people who share similar attitudes, interests, and values with us. That kind of relationship has more chances to thrive and become long-lasting. Of course, every positive relationship also brings up our self-esteem and make us more successful in making new friendships and social interactions.
Remember always expect the best, focus on positive thoughts and attitudes in your social relationships, and everything will be much easier. What happens when people open up their hearts? They get better!
Have a wonderful day, week, and life!
to me, it's not a big deal of being lonely, because nowadays it's hard to find real friends. So i'd rather be alone than having a back stabber or fake friends.
I agree with you 100% that being alone is way better than having fake or malicious friends.
That said, we are social creatures and we all do need meaningful, fulfilling and tender interaction with fellow humans. We just have to find the right friends.
Please don't get offended, I just want to make this grim topic a bit brighter: Being lonely wouldn't be a big deal to me neither, if I could upvote myself with $1.16! 😂
Because I don't beg for upvote :)
I feel exactly like you!
What a horrible statistic. I find the contrast between the individualism of the west and the more family oriented eastern cultures fascinating. I see you had a post on something similar a few weeks ago. I’m off to read it now 😀
Yes, I think that it's important to spread awareness about such statistics as they are often neglected.
I find the cultural differences around the world fascinating too (obviously). I'm off to read your comment there. 😂
You got a 13.64% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @lifenbeauty!
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This is a very well written post on a highly topical and relatable subject @lifenbeauty. I am particularly affected by cases of lonely old people. I think it is because they have less chances of being proactive about it and follow the suggestions you shared here with us:
As for the younger generations, what does the future hold for them? As they continue to isolate themselves from the psychical social world?
In my opinion it is a vicious cycle, because this very isolation can be both the cause and consequence of emotional states such as low self-esteem, as you mentioned.
However, they are still the ones with greater chances of opening up their hearts and adopting a positive outlook in life :)
Thank you for this wonderful read my dear.
I wish you a great week ahead!
:*
Thank you for commenting, my dear @abigail-dantes. I'm really glad you enjoyed the article! 😊
I remember watching in the news that, in some small villages in Serbia, the communities are paying young unemployed people to spend some time once per week with and help lonely elders with no relatives. I think that this is an awesome initiative, especially since we are among the poorer countries in Europe.
Great note about the vicious cycle of isolation from the psychical social world being both the cause and consequence of low self-esteem. There is an easy solution for breaking out of this cycle, however. The solution begins on the letter "T". : )
P.S. Congratulations on finishing the beer challenge. Cheers with (a sip from) a bottle of your favorite Letra a! 🍻 If you badly need a break (or a lifetime separation) from beer, a glass of a good wine will do. 🍷
Oh, if only more countries could implement such initiative.
I agree that young people would bennefit a lot more and enjoy much higher levels of subject well-being if they resorted to that T solution 😄.
Cheers to a new week ahead!
Hi, @lifenbeauty,
Thank you for sharing those startling facts and that British Prime Minister Theresa May appointed a Minister for Loneliness. That's amazing and something that every country could model for great benefit. I didn't know that she did that. Bless her!
This alone/loneliness social issue is so pervasive. And much easier to experience in this internet age. Blending children's and old people's homes, animal companionship, Ministers in charge of decreasing loneliness... all and more programs will increase soon, if we ensure that they do.
Thank you for highlighting this so well. Upvoted and will FB/tweet right after clicking 'Post'. ;)
Thank you for your support, @angelacs, I'm really glad you like the article. It is indeed important to raise the awareness about this often neglected social problem. : )
btw, I thought I followed you earlier but just realized I didn't. Fixed that so I can enjoy your future posts. ;)
I know, from personal experience, that one cause of loneliness is expecting that life should come to you.
In truth, everyone else so tied up in their own lives that they don't often go out of their way to find others who need company. If you are lonely it is because you are not out there looking for life.
Looking for life means looking for an opportunity to give something of yourself to someone else. I know this can be hard if you are old or infirm, but plenty of lonely people are young and healthy.
You have to invest to get a reward. Give the best of what you are and life will give it back many times over.
Thank you for the meaningful comment, @vortipor.
Yes, people often do tend to feel powerless and just despair instead of taking action to solve their overarching problems. Often, we need very little effort to achieve something but we are too afraid to do it or we are too much convinced that something as natural as finding friends is impossible for us.
I see that you're new on Steemit, good luck! 😊
Loneliness is a kind of phycological barrier a person puts to themselves. If they wish to break that and come out, they can do it but they isolate themselves from community interactions initially and gradually it becomes loneliness. A well detailed article.
Yes, as I've mentioned in a couple of replies, we are often lonely just because we are too scared to go out of our comfort zone and take action to find and meet people who we can go along with well. Thank you!
I liked this post, because This is one of the modern world situations to solve, I strongly beleave that overcoming loneliness starts when you Say Hello and try to shake hands, a plus would be a empathic smile and a BIG WARM HUG!
Hey @ivansin, thank you for the positive comment. : )
Yes, as I've mentioned in a couple of replies, we are often lonely just because we are too scared to go out of our comfort zone and make take action to find and meet people who we can go along with well.
Good post @lifenbeauty Many people instinctively try to run from loneliness. Sometimes they try to hide from it by numbing themselves. They might sleep, watch TV, or play video games. Or, they might try to distract themselves with chores and activities. They keep busy and superficially engaged in life. But none of this really works—at least not for the long haul. The aching emptiness breaks through numbed bodies and mindless activity.
I really like the way you wrote this comment, @shahidkha!
Yes, people often do tend to keep their mind busy by doing something else instead of taking action to solve their overarching problems.
I'm really glad you liked my post (even though you didn't upvote it)! : )
Sorry I was forgot to upvote it now I upvoted your post your post is really amazing
How do these negative evasion measures:
Find your cause will be easier to find a way out of this sense of loneliness if you already know the cause. For example, you feel lonely because no or less have many friends, you can go make new friends. However, when you still feel lonely when you already have many friends, there is the possibility of a sense of arising due to less quality friendship. If you're still confused, think about when you start feeling lonely, when what kind of atmosphere you feel lonely, and ask yourself what to do when loneliness strikes.
Express through writing Expressing feelings through writing can help relieve stress. Make a writing that tells about your sense of loneliness, the feeling that arises when overwhelmed by loneliness, and all the things you are doing. Find a safe and comfortable place to write and start getting used to writing regularly, only occasionally.
Realize you no longer Realize that many people around you to be used as a friend to talk and tell about the loneliness you are experiencing. By itself, the fabric of communication will open each self in sharing the story of the topic being discussed. You can ask about how they drive out feelings of loneliness. Who knows, maybe their technique is right for you to apply too.
Perform various activities Loneliness to continue to hit if you stay silent while lamenting the situation. Therefore, do something useful. Busying yourself with various activities will help this uncomfortable feeling. Do something fun for yourself. Living a hobby can be a good start, such as reading a book, walking, or smoothly gardening in the morning or evening. Any other possible new activities may be attempted. In addition to adding knowledge, experimenting with new things will make you more excited and can distract from feelings of loneliness.
Join others and be nice Do not hesitate to join group activities. When you do, you will have a lot to do with the people there. Chatting, doing activities together, activities with different new people will gradually create a new mood. If you've been a person who likes to critique everything that's in front of you, try to change.
Appreciate everything you see. Give praise if there are friends who just cut hair. Give goodbye a friend just passed the exam and strive for instantaneous if there is a friend who needs advice on an advanced problem. Being a pleasant person will get you involved in deeper friendship and intentions. Feelings needed by the people around will make you no longer feel slumped. Feelings of loneliness will be lost only if you really want and do something to change it.
Do not be too long retarded and do not hesitate to do things that can drive away those feelings. For example opening a business, publishing a book, making a movie, continuing education abroad, or traveling to foreign countries can be a useful activity.
Thanks for sharing, good work. Your post is very amazing...
Thank you for the thoughtful comment, @jamalgayoni.
One of the great group activities that can help with loneliness really well is the Argentinian Tango. It is a dance that is danced in a very close embrace (hug). In addition to the short-term benefit of the hug, it can also help you make new friends, which is a long-term solution for overcoming loneliness.
Thank you, I'm really glad you like my article (although you didn't upvote it)! : )
We all need a company to tell us what happened to us during the day.
Yes, @danllelys, we are social creatures longing for company. : )
There are times when a person feels the need to be alone in a quiet place, whether it is to channel a hobby like reading a book, or in order to think clearly. But spending too much time alone can create a sense of loneliness. And loneliness can be bad for your mental and physical health. The good news is that you can avoid it by overcoming this loneliness.Solitude and loneliness are not the same thing. From a dictionary point of view, loneliness refers to situations when one does not interact with others for one's own desires. While the word loneliness often implies a sense of alienation coupled with a great desire to have friends.nice @lifenbeauty
Thank you for the thoughtful comment, @elmicta. I'm really glad you liked my post (even though you didn't upvote it)! 😊
Very cool post, that statistic about older people not talking to a friend for a month was pretty surprising. No wonder dementia is so prevalent. Can you help me help others help themselves?
Thanks, @funbobby51. I've upvoted your post, nice initiative. It's amaizing that you can buy a computer + internet for 40 SBD in Venezuela - opposed to what @bigdude thinks, that's actually quite cheap when compared to the rest of the world. I love the witty way you wrote "help me help others help themselves". Cheers and good luck with the project! : )
it is a used PC that we are shooting for, unless we get more money. Thank you so much!
I enjoy feeling into my loneliness. It makes connection so much sweeter, but there is also much to learn from myself at the loneliest times.
Yes, not every loneliness is bad, only the consistent and pervasive one. : )
wow very Nice post i like it.....
wow very Nice comment i like it.....
Loneliness is a illusion of mind. The Reality is Aloneness. To feel lonely simply means you're not okay with the present moment and want to fill it with something else everytime your mind calms down. But when you overcome this illusion by becoming conscious of your underlying emotions, you for the first time realize that your real nature is aloneness, a state where you're drunk with the Silence inside.
I agree with you, @mysticonwheels.
As mentioned in the article, sometimes it is good to be alone. That said, we are social creatures and we do need tender and meaningful contact with other beings.
Cheers! : )
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Thank you for the info, @bitgeek. : ]
I spent a life time running from my own loneliness until I had the courage to look within at what was creating the feeling of separation. Now I treasure my alone time and am never alone or lonely! Excellent read! Thank You!
I would like to differentiate between alone time and loneliness. Alone time can be great, as you explained, while loneliness is a feeling that comes from the constant lack of fulfilling interactions with other humans.
Thank you for stopping by, @salkajourneys, I'm glad you enjoyed my article! : )
I am a loner myself and I rather be alone than with someone that I don't like. But I can't deny the fact that it is nice to be with a friend that u can laugh with, share your secrets with as lone as he/she a real friend
I agree with you 100% that being alone is way better than being with someone we don't like.
That said, we are social creatures and we all do need meaningful, fulfilling and tender interaction with fellow humans. We just have to find the right persons. : )
Well done.. :)
Thank you. : )
good information and I Agree with you this time to spread tne awareness in people
This is such an interesting topic that I believe needs attention. I think loneliness or lack of connection often gets turned into expectation. We often have fewer people in our lives (the basic spouse, children, a close friend or two, if that) and we put the expectation on these few people to fulfill all the needs of connection we long for.
And because one person cannot always provide connection on so many different levels, we end up disappointed and still feeling lonely.
We want different types of connection in different areas of life which requires more people. I think if we were to do an "inventory" we would find that there are some areas of life we feel connected and others, we are much more lonely.
Following you :)
Thank you for the thoughtful comment, @tressareid. : )
I agree with you, we are all very different and thus more suitable for fulfilling some types of social needs (some people have great sense of humor, some people are very smart, some are very gentle) and less suitable for other (for example, someone can be very gentle but not very communicative, or vice versa).
Thus, we can not expect one person to completely fulfill all of our needs since no one is perfect. :)