I'm not normally one to go on a rant, but I hate the seeming need to belittle others in order to make oneself feel superior. As you can probably guess I've been coming across this rather a lot of late, which is why I'm finding the urge to vent.
As an example, there was the girl who tried to get informed on how not to offend non gender specific people by asking what pronoun should be used. Instead of being helpfully informed, she was laid into and told what a terrible creature she was because she didn't already know.
Then there was a vegan in a zero waste group concerned about the ethics she was torn between on not wasting food and not eating animal products. She admitted that rather than see pizza with meat toppings thrown in the bin when her colleague had had enough, she ate it herself. Other vegans gave their thoughts, some saying they would struggle with the same conflict, others saying that not eating animal products would win out, as bad as they felt about seeing food waste. Then one just had to storm in and call absolutely everyone in the conversation ‘pathetic excuses for vegans!’ He then proceeded to belittle them and swear at them.
Now, it seems to me that this man had the opportunity to put his view forward and maybe even educate everyone on why he felt that vegan ethics should come before food waste, but he didn't enlighten anyone, just insulted them.
In this zero waste group this wasn't the only time someone acted this way, but this was the worst attack I saw on others and the one that made me feel that it wasn't worth the hassle of being in the group. It seems it was a common problem because the pinned message at the top of the page asked that people be understanding that everyone is at a different stage in their journey of cutting down on waste and to please be supportive not critical.
The biggest irony for me is that this is coming from people who profess to be caring and empathic!
The pattern seems to be, to butt in, make them feel stupid, ignorant and selfish for not knowing something they were never told, then sit smug with the comfort that their superior knowledge makes them a more noble person. Meanwhile, their hit and run victim is left feeling battered and no better informed for it.
Do they do it because that's what's been done to them and they want to feel what it's like on the other side? Or is their mind still very similar to that of a child who has yet to learn empathy and assumes anything that they know or like is known and liked by everyone else automatically? Or are they frustrated because the word is not spreading quickly enough for everyone to come around to their way of thinking?
Admittedly it can kind of feel good to know that you know something that someone else has yet to learn. However, I find it much more fulfilling and satisfying to teach them something new and see them grow from it, than to knock them down and belittle them. If they really feel they are more intelligent and caring than someone else, surely the more noble way to demonstrate that is by showing empathy and educating, not by being a complete buffoon and acting entirely the opposite!
Totally, totally agree!! You put this into words so well!!! 🙌❤️
Thank you Jessi 😊
That's how you can tell the difference between confidence and arrogance.
How do they make other people feel about themselves?
Confident people build others up, arrogant people tear them down.
Sadly I'm not confident, but happily I'm not arrogant either. At least I hope not! 😨
Nope. You're an absolute sweetheart :)
😳
I think we were in the same zero waste group! I left because a post I had made about ecologically responsible farming being possible was refuted by someone just giving sound bites without knowing anything about regenerative agriculture. The problem is that people refuse to look past what someone else tells them and realize that there are other ways of doing things and the problem isn't as black and white as they are being lead to believe. It is easier to believe that something is one way or it isn't than realize what you believe is wrong. Then these people get defensive and those that actually researched something get frustrated that someone could be so close minded. And usually those that are so close minded are the ones saying we need to respect people who are different. (at least until your different doesn't match up with their different)
It sounds like it could very well have been the same group. It was a worldwide group and afterwards I joined a local group which had a much better atmosphere.
It is hard to hear that what you believed to be true is false. You can feel betrayed or even stupid, so I guess lashing out at the bearer of new truths seems to relieve that. I recently saw another argument evolving along that line. It started on why it's our fault that forests are being stripped, because our consumer demands I'm guessing, until someone stepped in who lives in those areas and said, no it's the corporation and governments fault. They aren't clearing for the reasons you think. This offended those who had never left their own land and were posting graphs on their truths.
😆
Yah I think it was a global group. I have yet to find a local one I might have to get on that because I did learn a few things!
@minismallholding I found a zero waste homesteading group on facebook!
That sounds much more promising! What's it called?
I've run into very similar people, usually radical Vegans on YouTube that just love to come shit all over permaculture videos because they just know that all animal agriculture is bad for the earth....
It's annoying because vegans and regenerative ag people should be allies against industrial farming but instead you have a sub-group going around causing infighting.
Thanks for letting out your heart dear. Its always warning to hear people talk down on others and feel great about it. I was at the receiving end of this growing up which took me time and the right people to get out of my self made shell. Words are powerful weapons. We can use them to help and heal others not hurt and diminish them. I pray people learn to be better... Thanks for venting
Indeed they are. I'm sorry you had to be in the receiving end of those weapons.
Not a problem there. Its good to speak out sometimes.
I know I'm coming late to the party almost a full week later. It's frustrating coming across these sorts of people. Because what I used to do is reach out to them privately and ask them if they were okay? Because obviously to do something so abusive surely means they're trying to deal with something else personally. I have managed to reach maybe 1 or 2 people this way and genuinely help them. I have unfortunately stopped doing this thouth because then too many of them turn their aggression directly at me because "how dare I think there's anything wrong with them".
Wish these people well, help them if you dare. I unfortunately am in the once bitten twice shy group. But I do hope that i left an impact on the two who did open up to me.
I mostly tend only help if it's asked for, for that reason (as long as it's not a situation where they're in immediate danger or trouble). I guess some people see being offered or accepting help as a weakness in themselves and lash out to try and show strength. So I'm in the same group as you now!
I also try to thank people for help even if I didn't need it, because they're only trying to be kind and I know it can hurt to have it thrown back in your face.
very true! loved it, can't agree more.
Congratulation ! #teamaustralia
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