You and he dated years after the night that you say he raped you? I don't think you're going to empower yourself by showing everyone such disregard for your own well-being, acting like a victim, and blaming some unknown man (that you later dated) for something that can't be proven, and is suspiciously vague.
I'm highly attuned to liars, and it appears to me that you've recently read some article about malignant narcissists, you related parts of that article to your own experiences (real or imagined), and you have some supportive feminist friends who have been able to get you to drink the Kool-aid and create reasons for why you act out and have social anxiety disorder. I think you're a wound up ball of borderline personality disorder with a history of garnering sympathy (and now money!) from others by acting like you're a victim. Well, more power to you - enjoy the steem or whatever. I don't believe you, try harder. Cheers.