You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

RE: Mini Motivation #126 - Divorce Is Not The End - Dating As A Single Dad (Part 1/2)

in #relationship7 years ago

Change for the sake of yourself but not for your partner answered one of my big questions.

Should we change for our partner for something good?

I am a very forgetful person. All these while I'm the only one suffering from the consequences, no one else. It's been bothering me but I can live with it.

But when I started relationship with Williams, he's suffering from it as well. Like my forgetfulness is challenging his values. So do I change for him so that I can be better? Or I'm actually changing for myself?

I was really contemplating whether am I forsaking myself?

And you have brought clarity to me. I am changing not because of him. Instead, he is the catalyst. I need to change for the sake of growth. Forgetfulness is not helpful.

Thank you for making it so clear to me, @maverickfoo :D

Sort:  

Good luck to you @tifaong!

thank you @roselifecoach! Sorry for the late reply....

Hi Tifa, if you look at why you're forgetful, as in the values that are enforcing that behaviour, then you will have to ask if that's a value Williams is adopting/changing to as well. He may just be adopting a different "behaviour", which is fine, because his values may still remain the same. He's adapting to you also meant he love you, of course.

Mindfulness, which helps forgetfulness among other things, is a good habit to have, regardless if you are single or in a relationship. Perhaps look for apps to help too?

Hi @maverickfoo, thank you for the advice and sorry for late reply. I've been trying to find out the value or belief behind my forgetfulness but I can't find out. So far, visual cues are highly effective to remind me stuff that I need to do.

Hmm, I think he's adapting. He's trying to understand my situation and forgives me because this is a known issue and he knows I'm working on it. In a way, he's compromising his own values too.

Reminder apps do help a lot :)