@melinda10100 In some ways, I think we are not meant to ever fully recover, so it's not to lose some of those very special moments that one can only have it's such an intimate intercourse in life. I could not imagine a spouse, but went through it with my oldest brother and I have to say even though it was long ago, I can remember it like it was yesterday and in some ways it feels just as fresh. Having said that, there has been a balm that has washed over my soul and protects it on a basis. I can see him in gestures from his kids and he remains alive through them. Life will never be the same, and sad as that is, Jim would want you to carry on As You Are or, holding a brave front for all to see. You are an amazing woman and what you went through is the hardest thing you will ever have to go through your life. But you went through it giving him Grace and dignity and for that I absolutely adore you.
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Thank you so much for your always kind and thoughtful words.