Have you had "The Talk"? Is Santa Real? Are you Santa? "My friends said Santa is fake." Your kids WILL approach you with questions about Santa Claus one day. This is your moment. They may only ask once, so you might only have one shot to give them the answer. It can come from you, or it will come from their friends. This could be a moment for you to bond with your child and make a magical memory of the time when they learned the true identity of Santa. Others have not had this experience with their parents. Unfortunately, they felt deceived and betrayed when stumbling upon "the truth," and it affected them into their adulthood. Don't let that happen to you and your kid.
The one about the man in the red suit that delivers gifts and joy to children all over the world on a yearly basis. Some parents are terrified of this conversation and guard the secret seemingly with their lives. As a mother of 6 who has talked to her kids about sex, I can say that pretty much anything is easy after that. When talking to kids about a difficult subject, you just need to remember one thing: know your audience.
This is what I mean by know your audience. Are you talking to a kid? What is their maturity level? What do they actually want to know? Do they want to know the Secret of Santa, or do they really just want to know an explanation to a myth surrounding Santa- like how he fits down the chimney?
If your kids are asking "difficult" questions, then we should honor them with answers. Knowing your audience will help you determine what answers to give.
If your kid is old enough to ask about Santa, then he/she may actually be ready to hear the answer. Respect that. Do you recall being that age and wanting to know? How did it feel when an adult brushed you off?
The first thing I asked my kid when they asked me about Santa was, "are you sure you want to know? Once I tell you, you can't unknow it."
Once we established that they were ready to know (and you as a parent will make that judgment call), the conversation goes something like this:
Remember that time when we went and saw (insert name of play or movie here)? Each person in that play/movie plays a part. They are a character playing a role. Santa is just like that. He was based on a person a long time ago. He represents all that is good about Christmas. Christmas is all about giving and service and magical traditions. As parents, we get to play that role for our kids, and someday you will be able to do that too. You will get to play Santa. You will be able to load the stockings, put the presents under the tree. As Santa, you play a role of spreading joy and magic for kids.
This is a very important responsibility. This is a beautiful and amazing tradition that our family and many other families participate in. Now that you know, you also have a responsibility even though you don't have kids yet. You don't reveal the secret of Santa to those who don't know yet. If you do, you could spoil the magic and mystery for other little children. Now, if you want to help me this year, you can do that also to start getting some practice in. Isn't this amazing, what we get to do?
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This conversation can easily be modified to meet the needs of your kids and your beliefs. It also applies to tooth fairy and Easter Bunny conversations as well. This is solely about the Santa conversation and not the added religious meanings behind Christmas.
"Some parents are terrified of this conversation and guard the secret seemingly with their lives." xD. Very nice lecture, thanks!
Thank you! I have had to face this conversation head on, but had time to think about how I would approach it before having kids because of my husband's bad experience. We had a lot of Santa conversations before kids.
#motherhood
I love how you phrased your conversation. Well written post! I've had this conversation with 3 of my kids and have answered thousands of questions in such a fun and loving way! I hate it when other people's kids are staunch to my children about this topic. When my kids say, "so and so doesn't believe," I often reply, "Aww, that's too bad for them. Guess they won't get visited this year..."
Thank you! My kids that have asked have all felt a special bonding to be let in on the secret with mom and dad. I love that they view it as a tradition.
I don't think I'll have to tell our kids about Santa. We play enough games that they're getting wise to the whole thing. Also, toys. They know who to ask for them. I think they play at the Santa Clause concept just to keep mommy happy. I'm ok with that, because that just means they understand.
Thanks for your article. Please make sure to add those source links for the pictures you use. If they're originals, that's good too, just make sure to say so in the comments.
I told her to use unsplash.com 😉 Good point about mentioning where they're from.
I will have to have my @bobthebuilder2 help me out with that. I was using that site with the free pics-the name just blanked. I copied and posted the pics, but I guess I need to copy and paste the author also in a separate copy? Thanks for bringing it to my attention. I have a couple kids now that are up on the Santa secret that nicely remind me what they want in their stockings now. :)
Santa Claus never brought me the gift I asked for, so Santa's identity was revealed to me, and then I started asking for gifts that my parents could afford. Very good message, I will keep my son in the illusion of magic.
I think there are kids who found out about Sanat just like you. I think we can make it a good experience for kids if it is presented to them in a good way. It is an amazing tradition with a good message.
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I was raised with the real St. Nicholas.
I liked to see how you celebrate Christmas with your family. It is amazing how all the traditions have melded together to celebrate Christmas through giving and teaching our children about that. We try to put a heavy importance on the true meaning of Christmas, while appreciating the tradition that St. Nicholas and others have contributed through playing the role of Santa Claus or St. Nicholas or Father Christmas, etc. I liked the history you presented in your video.
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