Attention Class! Here is the first question of your pop quiz:
- If given the tough choice, would you: a) send your young child to a public school for a decade of brainwashing and indoctrination, or b) slather your naked body in liquid honey and wrestle a ravenous honey-badger on top of an active fire-ant hill? Explain your choice.
I would most certainly choose the second option. First because wresting sounds like awesome fun. Second, because I would not want my child to suffer the idiotic Nazism of the system. I'm perfectly capable of helping my children find their way ;) grade,
Your grade is a B+
You got the correct answer; however you made two mistakes. First, honey badgers and fire ants don't fuck around; therefore, it would definitely not be "awesome fun".
For more on honey badgers and their tendency to not give a fuck here is a link:
The other mistake that forced me to reduce your grade was your reference to "Nazism". This is incorrect usage. If you had instead said "post-modern socialism" then you would have received bonus points.
Since you are the only student to answer Mr. Melkor's pop quiz, you receive the reward for being best student. For all others in the class, they can expect an extra dose of smiting and tortuous damnation.
Congratulations on surviving the pop quiz.
See, that is exactly why i left the school system. Teachers expect one specific answer and they don't give bonus points for anything else. Abuse of young minds, I say.
Nevertheless, thank you, oh teacher. I shall try to do better next time.
Student Update
From: The School Board of Infamy and Damnation
Date: There are no dates in the Timeless Void
Topic: Mr. Melkor
Attention all students! Mr. Melkor has been awarded the honor of being the Most Hated and Feared Teacher in The Void. To celebrate this great achievement, the school board has decided to build a gargantuan bronze statue of Mr. Melkor's sinuous body in the pose "Curb Stomping the Bad Student". It shall be displayed in front of the main entrance to Mr. Melkor's School of High Achievement and Blasphemy.
In other news, student Honeydue has been awarded student of the month, and shall receive a free chocolate chip cookie in the school cafeteria as her reward.
Congratulations, sir! The name suits you well. And thank youfor the great honor you have bestowed on me. It shall be the greatest cookie ever tasted.
Psssst... Mr. Melkor will whisper the secret ingredient in the cookie that makes it taste so delicious: the secret ingredient is The Salty Tears of Outraged Social Justice Warriors. Don't tell anyone! I don't want them stealing my recipe.
And what a great taste it is! Worry not, your secret is safe with me.