That man wasn't "raped" by a girl, he was "raped" by society. Males are stylized as a gender that never denies sex and if they do, they are labeled as weird or gay etc. Plus we don't want to hurt the feelings of the girl, especially a friend. Girls often take great offense in being rejected - they feel like they aren't good enough or pretty enough or whatever. Most guys usually just go with it even if they don't feel like having sex. It's far easier than trying to explain why you didn't and being called a pussy/ douchebag/ dick....
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You articulated this really well. I agree with you. You're right, some girls do take great offense when rejected. That happened to me just recently.
Can't really blame em though, I know I've been offended when I was rejected. Given that ladies often don't do it too sensitively lol. If 30 unattractive guys approached me every night I go out, I would be bitter too lol .
I think that's a really good point...
This is the author of the story btw. I can email @stellabelle to confirm if anyone think I'm a troll pretending :p
I think not wanting to offend her was on my mind even if I didn't really realize it. And... The way people think guys always want it kind of feeds into that, cause now it's MORE of an insult to turn them down.
Anyways, I might talk more about this. I was touched by some of the support, and interested in the comments, so I decided to make an account to be able to communicate directly. Thanks!
Great to meet you, thanks for picking my comment haha :)
Nice to meet you too! And I did drop @stellabelle an email, so just in case anyone doubted that I'm really the writer of the story she'd be able to come in and set everything straight :)
yes, it is one of the things about society that is quite bad. Another thing I've been thinking about it is how guys don't recognize how they are sexually desirable. All the attention is thrown on women. Men have a lot to offer but they don't know it. That's sad, actually. They end up making jokes about their sexuality, and they miss what women and/or men find attractive. It seems to be more of a heterosexual thing though. It is culture, American culture, I think.....I don't know maybe it's changing? Being attentive to others' needs and having confidence are really key in attracting others. You don't even need to be drop-dead gorgeous to have people attracted to you. You do need a decent amount of confidence though, as that is what enables people to take risks. Taking risks is a survival technique and if you are resliient, and can endure a fair amount of rejection, you will ultimately succeed. Most people, though, are rather delicate in this arena.
Wait wait wait wait, so you are telling me that women find men sexually desirable the same way that men do women? Normal men, not sexy models / strippers ? DAMN
of course, sure. I can only speak for myself though. Women lust after men all the time. I've fallen into the lust trap with guys who were not super hot, who were shorter than me, etc., based on some personality trait. The guy in question happened to be half Korean. He had some odd trait that I found desirable, then I got carried away and developed like an unhealthy sexual fetish for him. It was mostly based on his personality, ability to be creative and his interests....and something about his face...I may be not on a normal spectrum though because I consider myself to be a fantasy addict. I tend not to form relationships in reality. But most women have sexual desires for men, all kinds, really.
Ok, am I dreaming or did you just change my entire love life ?
But I will tell you this: just because you lust after someone, does not mean they will like you back. That's a hard lesson. Not everyone is going to like you. Finding those who like you is hard, but exposure and openness are the keys. If you're a closed off person, you're going to suffer. The more open you are to new experiences, the more confidence you have in being yourself, the more people you will attract. It's quite simple really.
Haha yeah, been there. Loving someone who doesn't want you is one of the hardest things in the world to deal with. Or lusting..
But hell, this day is historic for me lol, I always thought I had to make girls want me, not that they were interested before I started my game haha.
Be friendly and open with girls but don't impose yourself on them. Listen to their needs, forget about your own. Give them options, choices. Do an experiment and see who chooses you!
I've done this before. It works. Also, another thing that works is getting involved in something that you're passionately interested in. I noticed that once I had self-published my book and was doing what I loved, people seemed to come out of the woodwork, and were seeking me out. Energy attracts energy. Do something you love to do, and you'll notice that you'll start attracting girls who like what you're doing. It is SIMPLE.
Thank you, Milady. For opening my eyes, I wasn't hopeless or anything, just didn't think that ladies think about me in a sexual way. Always thought there was a sexual switch I had to find - sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't haha. Looks like you can't find the switch, because the lady's got it . The art of the game is a huge mystery and I think if everyone was more open about what they really want, everyone would be much happier. Girls don't need to pretend they're not interested when they actually are, guys can be dummies and not notice those slight signs ladies give us.