I used to have all kinds of dumb, attractive guys hit on me. I remember going out with a Dolph Lundgren sort of guy who was super hot. After I talked with him for like 10 minutes, I found myself bored out of my mind and on the verge of vomiting. Yeah, if a man is shallow, it doesn't work. Give me someone smart and has average looks any day over a model.
I was very selective in my youth and still am actually. As someone develops more intellectually in time, and goes through a lot of trials in life alone, a certain resilience is created. And given enough time, the person begins to feel whole. This has happened to me in life. At this stage, I guess relationships lose their immediacy because true independence has been achieved. A relationship just becomes a nice addition, not a central need. Being dependent on others has never been quite my cup of tea, though. Something about being needy and dependent, I believe leads to pain and disappointment, as per my experiences. Becoming solid, and independent, well, that feels like the correct path to be on because fear tends to scatter on such footpaths.
I am like you 100% here. I will tell you having children changed my life. It definitely changed my perspective because no longer could I 100% be an individual. My choices now had impact on other people's lives who depended upon me. It certainly changed me a lot when I became a father.
Prior to that I was pretty much fearless. After I had a child I finally understood fear.
I shouldn't say I was fearless. I felt fear. Yet I was attracted to it. I liked the rush of adrenaline that came with fear. So rather than avoiding things I feared I would be attracted to them.
So it is very possible becoming a father saved my life. :)