Growing up as an immigrant teenager in Long Island, New York wasn't easy, especially because I had left my homeland behind and took on the new journey of life that my parents were preparing me for.
One of the first problems I had to face was the language barrier which as the days went by, it started to become easier for me to learn to communicate with others besides using sign language trying to get a point across. I was humiliated by people that spoke the same language as me but didn’t want to speak it, simply because they felt superior for knowing English and didn’t give two shits about just another Latino in the bunch.
This made me set a goal to keep getting better and better at the language by listening, reading and writing everyday trying to improve my communication skills and after 6 months of arriving in the US I was already speaking to my classmates and a year later competing in a spelling bee contest in 8th grade which I took home 2nd place. Unfortunately this also gave me the opportunity to mingle with the wrong crowd of people and I was introduced to the drug game.
I tried weed and alcohol for the first time when I was about to turn 13 years old just to look "cool" and try to fit in with the rest of the crew because I didn’t want to be left out or experiencing the feeling of humiliation like it had happened a few years before. Besides consuming drugs, I was now involved in the distribution of narcotics, not a big time drug dealer or a Capo but I was making 600 USD a week at the age of 15 in school.
This money ambition had driven me to this point and unfortunately I loved every emotion that my body felt every time I was cashing money into my pockets but not reflecting upon the harm I was doing to other people. In school I was never very disciplined and was about to drop out but I had clear that education was very necessary to learn how to make more money and a couple of years later at the age of 17, almost getting done with high school I got introduced to cocaine and a new business strategy to earn more money.
Now things at home were looking very ugly with my parents, whom the only thing they ever wanted for me was a brighter future, far away from all those problems that we were facing back in our country and to their surprise, I was now surrounded by problematic situations in a foreign country.
My mother didn’t like the “friends” I hung out with and always said to me,
“Tell me who you’re walking with and I’ll tell you who you are."
But at that time I didn’t absorb that strong message she was trying to get me to understand. So the drug consumption kept progressing, on top of this by the age of 18 I was morbidly obese, weighing 265 lbs because of bad eating habits and alcohol abuse and to top it off I had high blood pressure. Also, my pancreas was producing too much insulin so I could’ve turned diabetic and I had symptoms of cirrhosis because my liver was showing initial signs of malfunctioning.
At this moment after leaving the doctor’s office, I was struck by reality and decided that I had to make a change for my life and not only because of my health, but for my parents who really deserved it.
I moved back to my country of origin because I applied for college and my petition was denied because I didn’t have a green card. This made me realize that I wasn't worth shit in the U.S., and I definitely didn't have a future there realizing the last 8 years of my life had been thrown away in a garbage can. Now I was 20 years old, had lost 20 lbs and was trying to change my life but I was living back in the home of Pablo Escobar, guerrilla and paramilitary groups and all sorts of delinquency which absorbed me once again into that “fast lane” life.
I was going to college at this period of time. My money here was worth almost triple compared to the exchange rate, so basically I was on party animal mode and leading a very promiscuous active sex life.
I kept abusing my health for the next couple of years and things just got worse as I started getting involved with murderers, drug traffickers and others not to mention. This time I was so caught up with drug consumption that my parents had started to get more worried about the situation because my family members had told them I was taking the wrong road to walk in life, the worst thing that they didn’t know was that I had dropped out of college in 7th semester while believing I was attending.
Before the semester was done my mother had the gut feeling and found out I didn’t sign up that semester. This was the most devastating news my parents could’ve gotten but I recognize that for me, it was the most shameful thing I’ve done in my life because I was raised to not be a quitter and that was exactly what I was doing, quitting!
I’m 29 years old right now, I lost more than 60 lbs and I live with my girlfriend whom I adore and I have changed my life. My new life started 2 years ago. Back then I didn't know her yet and I was very controlled with drugs but at least twice a month I was partying not as bad as when I used to party for two days straight in a row.
But it seemed like this drug demon was trying to possess me again.
In between of one of those nights in a rush of cocaine I got into a fight with the wrong person.
This person was a known hitman and when I realized it, it was too late to step back. He was actually from around my way and I grew up with him before I had left overseas but that wasn’t a good reason for him to threaten to kill me. The thing was that I couldn’t go to the police because that’s just something you can’t do unless you’re trying to stay alive.
Two days later like it was what I call a miracle, he got caught and charged with more than 7 murders and three attempts. This was a sign that God works in different and magical ways because in return for that I promised to focus on recovering my life and climbing out of the hole that I was burying myself in.
Now I’m two years cocaine, tobacco and alcohol free and like my favorite rapper Biggie Smalls said,
“And I went from negative to positive, and it’s all good!”
-Secret Writer
This was the kind of life all around me growing up in NYC and, to some extent, in Nj. My Puertorican grandmother used to say the exact same thing to me "show me who you walk with and I'll tell you who you are" and my Puertorican great grandmother used to add in "a friend is a dollar in your pocket". I never really believed either.
the central figure in her religion, Jesus, walked with whores and thieves and any other human, and the Dollars in my pocket from working from 12 onwards caused problems in my life that no friend would emulate.
have you written about this? What work did you do at 12?
No. Before Steemit, I had been closed off to Social Media almost completely for a long time. And my whole childhood, secrecy was paramount to not seeing my mother hauled away or jailed. I didn't share anything about my life until the first time I performed my songs with the band, and even then it was wrapped in enough prose to deter all but the most curious. My first job was under-the-table, delivering prescription medication to the townsfolk from the local pharmacy that my friends regularly stole from. Made a solid 50 bucks per week, plus any tips from the townsfolk who all knew about my family and probably tipped better out of some misguided pity. But it got me school clothes and breakfast/lunch money, and later it would support my drinking and smoking
I see. Interesting, your history. Sounds like a great story for you to write. When you do, just make sure and notify me either in rocket chat or on twitter....@stellabelle.
I'll upvote your life story as it sounds quite interesting.
Thanks @stellabelle, for the encouragement. I'm trying to work towards letting my story out, but it's hard to put all the secrets that don't need to be kept any longer outside of myself and my ability to protect them.
If it wasn't for you these stories would not get out as easily. Very cool read.
Glad he is out of drugs :)
Thank you sharing
Good morning @stellabelle
We can all change, people judge to quickly sometimes but they should not judge until they really understand the reasons that person is doing certain things. Up to a certain degree of coarse
#takeiteasy
Agreed. If people knew some of the stuff i've done, well, I don't think they would think highly of me. But then, I spill my guts about it publicly so maybe the real work lies in being able to look squarely at the person you've become and then decide to change. I like that people don't judge the anonymous secret writer. It seems to be troll-proof, which brings happiness to the secret writers I think.
Good morning to you as well. Glad I could start your day with a tale of drugs and redemption.
👍nice post @stellabelle
ha ha! hilarious.
haha I sure did start my morning great! Great with my wakenbake and @stellabelle stories!
We should make it a daily thing
#takeiteasy
Yes, well, the secret writer will be there for you every morning, (except those mornings where I cannot suppress my urge to write about something else). Yah, I'm as addicted as you are, I suppose! Thanks for your well wishes. See you tomorrow morning with a fresh secret.
Wow @stellabelle! Props to you for making this happen! :)
The secret writer was an amazing idea, I'm glad it's working out so we can read things like these
“And I went from negative to positive, and it’s all good!” :)
I am happy, of course that it's taking off in steemit. I launched it on Medium like 6 months ago (approx.) and it went like just beyond my front doorstep. I guess financial rewards do speak volumes about human nature...A lot of people are impoverished.
You're right, financial reward speak volumes. But time will always tell, who sticks with you as time passes and who doesn't. I think that's one of the most important things in life. I'm happy that this is working and that you can bring those stories to life.
I'm sticking by my plan btw, you're getting a category of your own! :) . I have to read and compile a few posts for the second and last post about the Steemy's and I'm sending you your trophy :) for best @stellabelle :)
So inspirational. Wish everyone could take a lesson from this! :)
Yeah, me too. It's amazing how resilient we can be actually.
yeah!! true! goes to show we can achieve anything we put our minds to!
Very inspiring life story - It's amazing how through all of these ups and downs, you still managed to get back up.
But what really shocked me was the fact that when you came to the US, not even Latinos were speaking your native language with you?! They were embarassed.. I can only imagine how that must hurt, especially as a young kid. No wonder this got to you.
So did you finish your College in the end?
For my parents, education has also always been a top priority. It seems like your parents are very good-hearted and hard working people, that really wanted only the best for you.
So all in all, I am very happy to read that you have made it to a better point in your life. Look at it this way: Now that you've seen the bad sides of life, you can appreciate the good aspects even more. So maybe you should see your past as a blessing, and pass your life lesson onto your kids.
And at @stellabelle , this is once again a nice big bait you threw from your fishing Yacht ;) I just wrote a story mentioning you, so you might need to read it to understand this analogy!
https://steemit.com/steem/@sirwinchester/a-steem-island-adventure-how-the-king-of-the-ocean-destroyed-my-fishing-boat
ok
And I threw you a rainbow. Maybe the whales will find it too.
um. you are a whale.
Is that you in the first videos? Sweet..
I used to sell cocaine for the Albanian Mafia in AK. Good times. Crazy times. Im happy to still be alive.
Along the mafia lines, my best friend was in the mafia and I was being actively recruited!
She owed me a bunch of money at the time, and the mafia ended up paying me back instead of her!
Fun times (not). Scared shitless actually.
Wow, what was that like? Did they like, hand you a wad of cash or something? Did they seem gangster-esque?
I used to meet at this bar in Alaska. Downtown Anchorage. I was 19. He poured out the cocaine in a big pile on the table and, being one of my early interactions, I was terrified because the bar was full of people. I looked around and it seemed like everyone knew better than to look back. He said "dont worry my friend, this is my place"
scary... but I was hooked. I was hooked on power, money and coke.
One day, as I held my chest out of fear of a cardiac arrest, I went to visit my baby sister (age 5) while she was sleeping and I decided I needed to change my life. I was on a plane in less than a week.
PS, oh SteemFamous @stellabelle if you are interested in my words enough to respond, it would be awesome to get a teensy weensy upvote.
Oh hell yeah. man, that's a crazy freaking story. Mine is only a close call with Sicilian mafia. Here's the bone chilling part:
I worked at a big Art Museum, in the cafe. I had recently shaved off all my hair (just to see what shape my head was, that was the only reason I did it). Anyway, I worked a day shift in the cafe. Later on, my friend came up to me and said, "Oh yeah, the boss thinks your new haircut is awesome. And he likes the way your right corner of your mouth curls up, too."
I asked her, "how the hell did he know about my appearance?"
she responded, 'Oh, he dressed up today in disguise and got in your line, so he could observe you up close. He's very good at disguises. He saw you but you never saw him because he wasn't a him today.'
It fucking freaked me out.
The money: So, one night my friend told me to meet her at an Italian restaurant. She explained that the boss would be paying for us since she owed me so much money. I was reluctant, but finally agreed. When we got to the table, she handed me an envelope full of Euros.
My friend was always broke, so I knew the Euros came from her mafia boss. Plus, we were in the USA, so obviously, the Euros came from them......But the creepiest thing, happened later:
One day my friend and I had an argument. I was tired of bailing her out of situations and my kindness was being abused. I had asked my friend to help me move and she didn't want to help me. I had driven her 2 states away, helped her move, loaned her money, etc. I was sick of it. She asked to use a computer printer of mine and I said NO. I said NO WAY. I refuse to help you any more when you don't lift a finger for me. She was mad.
Later on that evening I came home and checked my messages (this was before cell phones). We had recording machines. I had one message: a very angry Italian man was cussing me out. His voice was raised 3 bars, and even though I didn't understand his words, i was terrified. He sounded like he was going to destroy me. That message had the psychological weight and power to make me rethink my friendship. Also, my phone was being tapped. I was really scared.
I was afraid to tell my family about it because I didn't want their phones to be tapped as well.
I learned my lesson, and eventually, I was disconnected after all their attempts to recruit me failed. I distanced myself from that friend as well.
crazy!!!!!
Drag is mad life.
But you told me that Tachinaoreru if there is opportunity.
It is very cool in the sad story.
I'm sure you are not alone in your story. I myself struggle to put myself in the shoes of those who are not white middle class males like me. You gave a good glimpse into your life and the insecurities and desire that led you down the wrong path.
“Tell me who you’re walking with and I’ll tell you who you are."
This is something my mother warned me about to, but as like most young adults, we believe we know what's best and can be around anyone without any effect on us. It led me to some foolish experimentation with drugs/alcohol and I am fortunate that I did not injure myself, others, or wind up in prison. I've found that age and wisdom are almost always correlated in a positive relationship. But most young people are too bull-headed to listen to valuable content from parents and grandparents.
I'm glad your secret writer story has a positive ending and that you have found a woman in your life and will hope you can stay strong both in your health and abstinence from illicit substances.
And I have to say to @stellabelle I love that you closed with a Biggie Juicy reference! Another brilliant use of artwork breathing life into a great story.
Good Day @stellabelle! Being judged is hard to avoid in this society and like everything being judged has its pros and cons ( Ying/ Yang ). Great share the MEMES/GIF, were cool to watch also!!!
thank you @arcaneinfo. you've got a great handle by the way.
Again nice story from you
You do great work. Keep calm and do more story's for us
Thank you:)
Awesome, never judge a book by its cover!! Thank you for sharing!
Hello @stellabelle, hope I'm not disturbing you. I wanted to promote steemit to my colleagues and I wanted to start with my Belgian CEO who has a huge business network in Europe. I have a good reputation with him in terms of job performance and if I will invite him to steemit I wanted it be very convincing because the time of this kind of people is very important. If we can have him in the network, I'm pretty sure he will also deliver it to his network in Europe especially that we are in engage in financial institution.
One way to convince him is through my post. I will make a post of the invitation with screenshot, can you help me gain upvotes from your network?
Well, it's simple. I only upvote posts that make me feel like this:
I cannot ever determine which kinds of posts will evoke this kind of rainbowy, glowy feeling inside of me. I know it when I see it. you can tweet me at @stellabelle on Twitter and try though.
Done tweeting you.
Nice post. People nowadays judge everything. They don't understand other people's situation but want to add in their 2 cents to make them feel good about themselves. Don't let the haters get to you, not worth the time.
Luckily, the haters tend not to peek out and wreak havoc on the secret writers' stories. It is an interesting and unusual situation of the internet, isn't it? Maybe the anonymity removes the cocaine-dispensing pellets for trolls? Trolls survive on the energy of their victims. The secret writers are shielded from attacks, so the trolls don't bother trying to poke a hot poker into the anonymous contributor. Hmmm......it's got me thinking...
I think anonymity also eliminates the possibility of a motive. Trolls are cynical and like to discredit one's willingness to share raw human emotion as a means to self-promote. They don't understand that sharing is driven by a desire to connect and heal, which is unfortunate because people should be given the chance to know that they are not alone.
Nice
Found this on TheDailySteemit. :)
Great Change...:)
Congrats man! amazing story! keep up the positivity!
Very nice!
I am glad it turned out all right for you. It was your decision, not a miracle! So you are your own miracle :)
Keep on making right decisions. Good luck!
Upvote,if you're interested in convert SBD to cc
see this:
https://steemit.com/money/@emmarokt/hwkko-anonymous-credit-card-rechargeable-with-bitcoins-sbd-to-cc-atm-withdrawal
this has nothing to do with the post....it's spam. I'm not going to downvote you as I would possibly put you in negative land.....
Thanks the so inspirational stories. Everyone can learn a little from it.
This is a very powerful story. And I noticed there is a lesson we can learn from each of your story. Thanks.
What a great story, I wish this guy all the best, and I hope he makes the most of the life it sounds like he's very lucky to have :-)
Cg
Excellent words!
Nice post @stellabelle
Upvote for you..
I read the story in the same breath.
Well that all ended well.
People who did not want to speak your language - the bastards.
But thanks to them that you have reached the goal. I'm happy for you.
The story of the police and hitman scared me. I'm afraid to imagine what you are experiencing.
But all is well. Take care of yourself.
How's your previously reference in your post instead I'd rather interesting to me, when you reference a known Hitman. Now in my line of work, and I'm not going to disclose what that maybe, but I don't believe there is such a thing as a known Hitman and if there was that career pathway certainly could not have been upset for more than a couple weeks none-the-less long enough for him to get a reputation for himself as a hitman. Very stupid move, and I assume that my first radiation of what may have happened to him happened to him. Or you must just be one Ball Z individual disclosing even the smallest bit of information like you did that may put him in the spotlight. But anyways holy s***, murderers Hitman, Pablo f****** Escobar I mean you must really be somebody up in the world you don't just happen to end up there cuz you're in the drug atmosphere. You're either moving a great deal of material or you got some major connections. I'm starting to second-guess whether or not this story is actually legitimate or one hell of a thought up a story to make some quick cash on steemit. I'd love to know more about you so you can fill me in on some of these other aspects of what year I was so blatantly speaking about on the internet. Who knows maybe I do know you if you're playing up and our level of the game. you're real bad ass keep in touch
Good post!👍🏽
Great job as always stellabelle! :)
Thanks, you had a very difficult life, read a post and amaze your willpower.
Its great to see how great humanity is and willpower. We are all able to change if we want to. Not because someone says so but because we ourselves think we can! Glad your story teller could change their lifestyle and has so for two years now!
Your determination inspired me :)