@finnian Very useful tips here. I entered the online dating market for the very first time this year and have to say, my experience has been pretty positive so far. I joined a site that charges a fairly hefty monthly fee, so I think that weeds out a lot of characters straight away; and all the ladies I have met so far were professionally employed or self employed.
They have included a director of national health services, a professional TV chef, a former Bond girl and international model, and I am shortly meeting a world renowned artist and architect.
What I have found (I turned 50 last year) is that a lot of these ladies sacrificed family and relationships for their careers and are now looking to 'settle' having achieved all their work and security goals.
Without a fault, they have been all wonderful company, and made it very easy for a guy out of the dating game for 15 years!!
The downside is I felt no real "click" yet, and I find the online dating thing a bit like flicking through a catalogue. You are right, speaking for myself, you definitely need that face-to-face meeting and connection.
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It sounds like a good site. If the fee is high and the women pay it too, the wine and dine problem would mostly go away. When I was on Match.com, the women didn't pay. Therefore, they were inclined to use it for fun.
I was also on eHarmony. It was very expensive. The women matched to me were decent overall, but they were just too old to have my children. Your situation is different of course, so it sounds like it will work better for you.
I have a Physician Assistant friend who is in his 50's, and I keep telling him to try eHarmony. It would work for him since he doesn't want his own children.
On Match.com I met a gorgeous lawyer in downtown DC, but she was going for partner. She would have been working 15 hours a day. Children were not an option. The date ended in a nice kiss goodbye though. :)
This all happened well over 10 years ago too, so I'm sure a lot has changed since then. It is far more accepted these days I would guess.
Funny enough, the site I am on is Match.com, but all the ladies I have met paid a monthly subscription same as me. We were actually comparing charges and offers etc. between men and women and seeing if there was any difference. (Answer is no).
Like you say, 10 years is long time in dating and internet world and maybe a lot has changed. Also, maybe regional/country/cultural differences too... I don't know... just surmising.
My experience with that site years ago was just women looking to be wined and dined. They are zero interest in a long term relationship and just wanted to have fun. None of them wanted children either when I did. The women could go on a different date every single night if they wanted. haha