On my long commute home today, I was thinking about sexual pleasure. Not so much the act of it, per se, but more what it means to experience pleasure, and what kinds of blessings conscious pleasure has brought me in my life. Specifically, self pleasure, and true sexual pleasure not for the sake of merely getting off, but as a tool to connect with the self.
Every person has an energetic sexual center. Each and every one of us.
When we connect with the sexual center within, using love, gratitude, and awareness, we open up pathways within our physical and energetic bodies for wellness and self-awareness, and even more so, self-acceptance. I have found in my own practice of conscious pleasure, a kind of radical self-acceptance, and it has not only helped me connect with my self, but it has helped me connect with my partner, has healed old scars of trauma and abuse, and even been a beautiful guide on my path to emotional and energetic wellness. Tantra and other methods of sexual meditative and yogic practices are not only meant to make you great in bed (though they certainly can). They are an incredible tool for breaking out of the mold, breaking you out of YOUR mold, and they can allow for redefining patterns of conditioning and habit to create fullness, joy, ecstasy, creativity, and new ways of relating, in all aspects of life.
Some things came to mind as I considered all that conscious pleasure has taught me. I thought I would share them with you all, as I feel they are an excellent meditation, or positive self talk, to those who wish to connect to their sexual centers.
** A Meditation for Radical Self-Love **
I am capable of connecting with my sexuality.
I am capable of connecting with myself through my sexuality.
I am capable of connecting with others through my sexuality.
I am capable of mindful breath.
I am capable of healing.
I am not defined by my sexual trauma.
I accept my sexuality.
I am able to transform my sexuality into energy.
I am capable and deserving of pleasure.
I am able to give myself pleasure.
I do not deny myself of sexual pleasure and release.
I do not deny myself of emotional release.
I do not judge myself for my appearance or my ability to create sexual attraction.
I am capable of ejaculation (regardless of my gender).
My body is a beautiful vehicle.
I am, first and foremost, in a relationship with myself.
I am a conscious, loving being.
I am infinite beauty.
I am infinite potential.
I am infinite.
I practiced this meditation with three full, mindful breaths in the beginning, and a mindful breath before and after each statement. Breath is the great connection to the self and the spirit, and can assist in accessing the subconscious. Indeed… we truly need to Breathe it to Receive it.
How did you feel as you were reading these statements out loud? Where did you feel resistance, and where did you feel release, or acceptance?
I look forward to sharing more about conscious pleasure with you. I would love to hear your experiences with Tantra, conscious pleasure, and your own explorations into sexual energy and Radical Self-Love. Please, don’t hesitate to share. And, please, enjoy the journey into Self-Love.
x
The Tree of Life
Photo Credit: Tumblr: Diaphanee
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Thanks NM! ::insert yin yang kiss face here::
Chuck and I have been focusing on this area of life recently. I have a lot of stuckness for sure and Tantra has come up. We started exploring it some, but have a ways to go. I see how it could really help me and us connect. I am SO sensitive that I think I have shut a lot of my sexuality sort of off or suppressed it - because that and shame. We are exploring other ways of being with each other (and others). It's been quite the jolt. That and moving to Hawaii has created a ton of upheaval but things are much better these days. Would love to see you before we take off next month <3
It makes me so happy to see your comment. I miss you! Yes let's get together please. I can't believe you guys are moving already. That happened fast! Wow manifesting!
I totally understand where you are coming from with your above comment. I also have some sexual stuckness. Loving myself in every way I can imagine has really helped me a lot. Especially during times where I seek sex to help me feel better. It's not a healthy habit and sometimes yes sex is healing. But it's far more healing when it comes through energies of abundance rather than lack. Tantra helps some but I wish I had a teacher.
That's amazing that you guys are exploring tantra and conscious pleasure with each other. Just beautiful.
Hit me up! We should go for a walk or something 😊❤️
I’ve fallen out of the habit of late, but conscious self-pleasure ritual was an essential part of being able to change my pattern of premature ejaculation.
This was affecting how I could enjoy sex, and how my lover could enjoy it also, affected my libido and confidence sexually with women; even at one point affected my ability to gain an erection.
Being already a qualified practitioner of Chinese Medicine and Taoist Qigong Arts, and reading old texts on sexual alchemy, I knew there was a way I could utilise these practices to help with this. But there was some key missing links, as my knowledge of Taoist sexual alchemy was theoretical and historical.
That’s when I started delving into the practices of tantric yoga and pranayama. With these practices and my knowledge and experiences in the Taoist arts, I was able to develop a practice that really did work.
Self-pleasure was a big part of that, as I learned to become consciously aware of my body/nervous system’s signals, and was able to re-develop the sensuality of the whole body, not just the penis.
Using the various breathwork techniques from both traditions (actually very similar), I was able to learn to sublimate the Qi effectively.
I’m not going to say it ‘cured’ me, but sex became a whole lot more pleasurable, was able to last longer, and retain the jing (vital essence) even with ejaculation. Which is what’s important from a Taoist health perspective.
I’ve taught other men these techniques, and I think self-pleasure is a great way to break porn addiction. Maybe I’ll write an article about that soon....
Great meditation!
I'd love to read an article on self pleasure for men. Being a woman, I obviously intimately know from personal experience what women can feel emotionally and energetically when practicing yoni exercises and during self pleasure, but (despite being married 😂) what men experience when practicing conscious sex techniques and breath is still a bit mysterious. I have a feeling it's not as different as I think!
Thats amazing that you had the knowledge, desire, and ability to combine concepts (that you are right, are not so different!) to help yourself with something that was disruptive to you and got in the way of your own pleasure. It's so important that we are good to ourselves, and that kind of self love that is patient enough to be accepting and healing is really quite beautiful.
I can relate as well to the similarities between Taoist philosophy, qigong and tantra/yogic philosophy. Prior to being a yoga practitioner and teacher, I practiced and taught traditional chen style Taijiquan as well as qigong. When I found yoga, I was thrilled because I was like... This is the same! I know this!
Life is so funny. And just... Really cool.
Thanks for sharing your personal experience. 😊 ♥️ And for your support, as well.
OK, guess I'll write something more about that then. 😉
yeah, even though the outer forms are different between Tai Chi and Asanas, internally there are similar things going on. Although one of things I didn't like about the Tantric stuff I learned was the focus on sublimation upwards, when in Taoist Neigong we always return the energy down and circulate, always.
Different uses for different needs, I guess.
😊🙏🏽☯️🕉
You know, I never recognized that difference... In fact, now that you say it, I think that I prob ly incorporate more qigong into my yoga practice than I realize. For instance, I still breathe into my dantien, and allow the energy to flow from there. Hm. I have some things to think about apparently. 😂
Cheers, I look forward to chatting more!
Those are very lovely affirmations and they have a gorgeous vibe about them. Sexuality and creativity are the same energy and basking in it brings great benefits to our beings. This was such a lovely read, thank you for sharing it with us 💚
Thank you @zen-art ! :)
Excellent - this is really important self-healing work for many people.
I very much agree. I also like that open discussion about tooics like these are getting more and more common.
Thanks for your support, I love your contributions too!