I'm a fairly agreeable person and try to keep peace in my relationships but found myself reacting to situations with a girlfriend of 3 years much similar to some of the things you are describing. If things were mounting into discourse I would clam up focusing entirely on the negatives at hand. Being speechless would only compound the situation.
I've tried to sum it up that much of our problem was poor communication both being reactive and continually playing the situations out the same way each time. We've separated to being friends and the small amount of time we do communicate I still see a rough edge in our verbal compatibility. I think I've learned a lot from our experiences but want to develop better communication skills that I may not trap myself into a spiral of negativity when there's a bit of tension in the air.
Yeah Your situations sounds pretty much exactly the same as mine is. Approximately the same amount of years too. Yeah I've noticed I tend to become silent and distant, which she probably even feels that's worse than me just becoming really angry. Also like your saying it compounds those emotion within you only to make them stronger later.
Yeah I think It's the same thing for me but difficult to tell at the same time. Well I'm glad it ended in a good way were you both can still be friends. I definitely want to develop better communication skills also but even more that that I want to develop non-reactive listening. Were I can hear someone talk about anything or talk towards me with any emotion and for me not to absorb or get offended by anything thing they are projecting towards me. It is their emotion and I should not take it personally. Thanks for sharing your story and reading about my experiences.
Yes, non reactive listening! Let's get it going!