Government is good or bad? Some say it is bad. Some say government is not in family or in some decentralized groups. You might be arguing semantics, on what to call what. There is structure and design in life. We may call things with different names and labels, but those things are still there. You do not have to call yourself the boss to be the boss. As a father, you do not have to think of yourself as the leader or king to be at the top with your wife.
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Better leaders delegate. You trust in other people. They do the work. But if they do not do the work, who will fire them or how do you get rid of people if you need to? These are questions about how you do your business. The structure is a form of governance even if you choose not to label it with words that you do not like for some reason. Different people have different roles and jobs which are suited to their abilities and talents and everything. Men and women have the freedom to do what they want to do. Women can choose to do what men do. Look at the relationship between Captain Picard and his number one, Riker, in Star Trek Next Generation (STNG). Picard was at the top, but he would get advice from Riker. Many things happened in their seven seasons and in their movies. The father and mother may have that same kind of relationship. It can be rather complex or simple. It is a long story. Men are often better suited above women. That is how things work.
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Decentralization is a structure and a design.
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Government does not have to be big, bad, evil, and corrupt.
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But too often, it has been because people are bad too often.
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So, we normally hate the word "GOVERNMENT."
In Star Trek, Starfleet was a an opt-in organization. Because participation was voluntary, it was perfectly compatible with anarchism. I think it's a good example of how people will choose to participate in hierarchies and submit to legitimate authorities voluntarily.
If you are forcing your children to obey you, then yes, you are their ruler. That's not anarchist structure. An anarchist parent doesn't rule their children at all. They serve their children as service providers and never force them to do anything against their will.
Kids can choose to leave if they do not want to follow the rules. And when people come into my country, then I want them to follow the rules and laws of my country. If you do not want to follow the laws, you must pay the price or leave. The same thing is true for companies. Everything involves choice even when people say there is no choice. The choice is always there and the spanking hurts me more than it hurts you.