In Star Trek, Starfleet was a an opt-in organization. Because participation was voluntary, it was perfectly compatible with anarchism. I think it's a good example of how people will choose to participate in hierarchies and submit to legitimate authorities voluntarily.
If you are forcing your children to obey you, then yes, you are their ruler. That's not anarchist structure. An anarchist parent doesn't rule their children at all. They serve their children as service providers and never force them to do anything against their will.
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Kids can choose to leave if they do not want to follow the rules. And when people come into my country, then I want them to follow the rules and laws of my country. If you do not want to follow the laws, you must pay the price or leave. The same thing is true for companies. Everything involves choice even when people say there is no choice. The choice is always there and the spanking hurts me more than it hurts you.