Hey mate, hang in there! That's pretty much it. Be persistent. The dark night of the soul passes but no one can make it pass for you.. it's your deal alone. Effectively it makes sense we must find the bottom of the bottom in order to proceed - some of us never had a foundation of honesty and reality and so have to go to such depths to get there. You're indeed alone in this process but there are others who have faced their aloneness. There's a community of alone outsiders that never meet but have found through hard experience where the general direction of things need to go and what it takes to get there and how to apply the self on a personal level. Ultimately - a state of mind that allows such highs and lows is not sustainable. Look for something that doesn't fluctuate as your reference point. The mind in its present state is a poor representation of actual reality. Stand back.
Thanks for your thoughtful feedback!
Maybe I'm misunderstanding but I feel what you are saying is that there's no way to live in the heights, rather we should go for a non fluctuating middle ground, somewhere stable.
I guess that's a more accessible place, but at the same time it feels the same as giving up and settling for less than you know your mind is capable of. It might be a more mature vision though, a realistic way to end the struggle and I often go that path to bring some serenity but there's always a part of me that knows greatness is possible
No, I'm not talking about mediocrity - or a midway between high and low. I'm talking about balance. True contentness. Dao. It's like once things are balanced (not mediocre) then there is a doorway out.
Maybe with time I'll understand better what you mean, for now just gotta keep observing the happenings