Hello brother. Thank you for sharing where you are at on your journey. You are not and were never required to agree nor disagree with what it is I share here. It either resonates with you or it does not. What you are speaking of are expectations, assumptions and preconceived notions of how things should or should not be within a relationship. Those notions are the judgments you are holding onto and believing in as being the Truth for you. Those are the parameters you have been taught to judge everything by.
Something to consider in regards this article I shared. In it I was speaking towards the understanding of the personal experiences I have had with "friends" and family alike. So called friends who would constantly try to undermine our marriage with offers of hooking my husband up with some female companions, that what his wife doesn't know won't hurt her... Or how about family who expect you to come over for Holiday or just to visit. They expect you to stay the ENTIRE day yet stipulate you are not to bring your husband for he is not welcome. That the only time your family contacts you or acknowledges you is if they want something from you.
As for groups and friends... One must ask themselves why it is they are handing away the Sovereignty and rights to choose for themselves to someone else when they are constantly bowing down to the dictates of those around them. It makes one begin to wonder who it is that is actually living ones life when this is what is going on. For that is what our friends and family do. They try to dictate to you and your chosen spouse what it is they think and believe you should or should not do.
Now these same folks are the same ones who are constantly bitching and screaming about their own lives and everyone else around them and what those people are or are not doing. In those same breaths they are pointing fingers at the being across the room they are also pointing a finger at you. Because as soon as you walk away they will be doing that same thing with someone else while pointing at you.
The whole purpose of this article was to point out how one is to choose to place themselves, their partner and their relationship with each other before and above all other relationships. They are to place that relationship in God's Hands and under Holy Spirit's Guidance to show them how to come together in harmony turning only to each other and no one else in the moment of their trials and tribulations. That it is the seeking of the judgmental egoistic opinions of those outside of you that is causing all the strife and issues you experience.
It would be those private friendships and secret conversations that are sowing the seeds of mistrust and strife. For it is within those secret whispering's that the defamation of character and pseudo suggestions can be made so seeds of dissatisfaction are planted to grow. That spilling of the soul to a willing ear when strife arises in the relationship that plays the dutiful friend in commiseration. All while hiding a gleam of avarice from their smiling eyes as they pray for you to leave your partner and choose them instead.
These are the things I was sharing in this article brother. These are the points you missed in your rush to judge what was shared with you. The moment you chose to judge the message you blocked yourself from hearing it Truly as it was being shared. You chose instead to lay your own judgmental blanket over it, deciding for yourself what was or was not of value and worth and even what is or is not True. All based on your own purview of belief.
Blessing on your journey brother. Hugs and love. You are loved. I love you.