You have a lovely family and bride. You are correct, men are objectified for their productivity. One can see this in the tendency for women to identify as "attractive", a man who is seen to be prodictive - often this goes with age, dress style (suits etc) A man's physique hardly matters to many women in their late twenties I think. It is great you point out to your bride, how she is of great value to you and the kids. All should remember to do this in every relationship. I often wonder why females place such a high value on their physical attractiveness when men are more attracted to the qualities that you point out in your post.
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Thank you for the thoughtful comment!
To you point:
I think it runs much deeper than what they might hear from one or two people. It honestly starts from day one. Having had daughters and a son now, I have seen how differently people talk about my kids. My girls are ALWAYS complemented for their looks. My son is spoken to about his psychical strength and stature, etc. This message follows girls and women around their entire lives in so many different ways. Those are my thoughts at least.
Maybe your girls are more attractive than your boys.. I have 3 girls and we praise them for all efforts to strive in whatever manner they feel drawn towards. I've also seen boys constantly told how handsome they are.. if memory serves me well, I was told that as a cute boy ,😀 at the end of the day I just wish my daughters spent less money on skin care and cosmetics
Haha, well that's possible. He is a pretty cute baby though.
That's actually really interesting to me. I honestly just do not see that a lot in my day-to-day. It definitely happens, but not anywhere close to the level I see it towards my girls. I wonder if this is a bit of a regional specific thing.
Not sure hey - I teach in an elementary school in Korea. Female teachers always make a lot of the appearance of the boys - almost never about the girls. It's actually one of my pet peeves because I fear the boys one day being expected to fend for themselves, provide selflessly for their wives and families, it doesn't prepare them well if we focus on their appearances as much as they tend to do here. Mothers tend to do that a whole lot. As you said, some girls may have this expectation to look good, and boys carry a different expectation - we ask them to sacrifice their whole lives essentially, for society and family. Personally, it gives me a sense of meaning, and I have no complaints seeing my girls grow up under my wing.
One can only hypothesise if I had embraced the flattery I was given as a young boy, maybe I would have sought a different partner - maybe someone to take care of me in exchange for my wonderful look. It makes me chuckle to think of it - and I see your point - it is a little unfair in many ways because a person's potential could easily be stunted.
That is very interesting. I am always fascinated by seeing different cultures work through these in very different ways. Frankly, I think it is toxic to frame any person's worth or value in a way that connects it to their appearance. Complements and affirmations done appropriately is totally fine, but that desire for significance and acceptance is strong and will cause people to go to great lengths to get. If people are told, directly or not, that physical appearance is their best shot at affirmation, then that will take priority.