You will never be happy in a relationship if you can’t feel good on your own.
Many of us are afraid of being lonely, we feel that we can’t make plans for the future without someone next to us, that life isn’t complete without our other half.
The secret is to feel comfortable with who you are and what you want in general, not only when you’re in a relationship.
You have to be your number one priority and you really need to understand that, no matter how interested others might seem in you, at the end of the day there’s you…with yourself.
Keep near you only people that are an inspiration for you, those who can teach you something and make your life better.
Stop giving yourself deadlines. If you’re always saying to yourself that you need to find a partner, you’ll only be able to make wrong decisions when it comes to relationships.
You won’t be a good partner if you can’t even rely on yourself. And don’t make your partner your number one priority as soon as you become a couple. Trust, respect and love are built in time.
To make being alone easier, you need to keep in mind that when you’re on your own, you’re not distracted by someone else so you have enough time to reflect and grow.
Although many people believe that loneliness is a cause for depression, studies have shown that being alone can actually reduce depression in young adults.
When you’re by yourself, it’s the perfect time to think about your relationships with others and to reflect on your life, so you can decide exactly what you want.
You need to learn to trust yourself and to feel good in your own skin. Also, being alone can improve your capacity of focusing and your academic performances.
The conclusion is that you shouldn’t be sad that you’re alone, you should use this opportunity to get to know and love yourself, and you’ll notice that once you’ll feel good in your own skin, you will start attracting the right kind of people in your life.
Sometimes you need a bit of a snap back to reality. Reading this was today’s for me.
Cheers.
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You are right
We love steem-bounty because it is the most creative and original project that support the readers and who comment to our posts.
Oh yes!
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Hey man, long time no see, I've been away from Steem. Apparantly, sometimes I don't mind being alone...
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sometimes, i find the greatest join in being alone... humans are social animals, but well, we are unpredictable too...
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Self love huh? Besides who will love you unless you learn to love yourself accept you the way you are. The very act of acceptance itself creates an aura around you that attracts others.
We came into life alone anyway, so you have everything you need to be happy. You might seek fulfillment and purpose in a partner, but trust me there's no better person to do that for you than you. Better still, focus on finding your own happiness and fulfilment. Your partner should be a compliment to make you happier.
BEING ALONE IS NOT A CRIME
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I think alone will be better to live because realationships causes problems in daily life and sometime it can not be managebale and then you feel sad.
There are advantages and disadvantages..
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A bounty of 10.000 SBD has been set on this post by @jwolf! You can read how they work here.
Recently I met my old love from 22 years ago. We spend two unforgettable days together. And most interesting conclusion was I start to value loneliness in aspect you stand for.
Teach from loneliness to be happy together. Very good point of yours.
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i have lived alone for 5 years and i always felt miserable because i shut down every one around me . but finally when i opened to someone my life became brighter like a rainbow in a sunshine
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It seems you want to be alone. But remember no man is an island. Nice article you have. Keep it up.
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My entire life the best things have happened to me when I was not looking for them. Put out a positive energy and you will attract positive energy to you. I also need to spend time by myself regularly. Silently working on a project, reading, meditating or hiking allows me to reset and recenter myself and build up and maintain my mental faculties.
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Is a partnership shaped by love, which makes life worth living and fills it with meaning!
As a person whose been alone for 5 years, I can testify that if you aren’t happy alone or being with yourself then you will never be happy.
People will let you down many times so being dependent on them is very bad for your mental health. That goes for family friends alike. So I agree with you @jwolf, if you aren’t happy on your own then you aren’t made for relationships.
Another word for being happy with yourself is confidence.
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You have to train yourself to be comfortable with yourself. This is the reason most people are glued to their phones and laptops when they're out in public. They can't stand being left alone with themselves.
Being in your own company, it encourages us to be thoughtful and is a gift. Treasure it. People like Naval Ravikant and IIRC Shane Parrish take one day in a week away from of all electronics. And it's high time everyone embraced it.
Everybody who has watched this clip knows what I'm talking about -
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Hmmm this is good! I came to a realization recently that one cannot love other people until one learns how to love oneself. I strongly believe that.
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I'm rather scared to be in a relationship ...lol! I'm in a long term relationship with myself. Happily unmarried ...or rather happily married to myself 😜
In fact, the way this post ends is quite strange to me. This post presumes that being in a relationship is the way to be happy. The incentive of feeling good in your own skin is offered here as "you will start attracting the right kind of people in your life." Hello! If I'm happy with myself, I don't need to attract anyone else. They get attracted because they want to be happy, not me!
No
Tgis blog was very important for me to read. Thank you
I am glad you consider it important!
your say this right
Naturally, I know that I am not an extrovert or that extremely introverted person, I think I am in between the two. I am not really afraid of being alone because I hate too much crowd, but most points time, I really do need someone to share my problems with. So I guess there are advantages and disadvantages.
I’m usually ok with the idea of being alone .. It’s the notion of losing someone I love that worries me.
life is all about the up's and downs and the experience makes us better with time
I love loneliness, my friend @jwolf ! And my children are very jealous of me to my loneliness :)
Según las publicaciones que estás mostrando, transmito a la comunidad en español todas las noticias de este gran proyecto que, estoy seguro, ayudará a muchos. Sigamos avanzando !! https://steemit.com/spanish/@jmhb85/a-cazar-mas-de-70-recompensas-activas-steem-bounty
I think you don't necessarily need to be able to rely on yourself. If someone else can rely on you, and you can rely on them – then surely that is a good basis for a relationship.
Absolutely true bro
Even i love steem-bounty very much
Good one bro
@Jwolf
While I can't speak to being alone for a long time now, when I was it wasn't ever an issue. If you know who you are and are happy with yourself then you don't need someone to make you feel better.
Always be working on self improvement! This might actually be more important when you are with someone for a long time.
A few years back, I had a conversation with my best friend during which he said, "What's this world if not for me?" What he meant was no matter what, at the end of the day we live for ourselves. Everything and everyone else is a corollary, a result or reason for how I am living my life. He also expanded it by saying that when I don't exist, the universe doesn't because the universe is ultimately an image formed in my mind's eye and it ceases to exist as soon as I am not there.
I agree that this comes out as an extreme viewpoint but there are things in what he said which makes me wonder. Isn't it really to make myself happy that I care for my friends and family? If I am not happy and satisfied in some way when doing something for others, how long will I continue to do it? Stuff to ponder upon.
Right
And build a relationship with others may require the same amount we use for ourselves.
I think it is a long journey.
Thank you for this post
"Love loves to love love." James Joyce
First, you need to love yourself and the rest will come.
I am hella scared to be alone
i couldn't imagine a life without living together with someone
As a 50 year old male that gave up on dating and relationships 6 years ago due to many of the reasons mentioned here. I can tell you that I have never been more satisfied with life. I have finally discovered who "I" am. Not the person that is adapting to be what my mate wants. But "Me". I discovered I like many things I never would have guessed, and find myself completely stopping behavior that was apparently only to please my partner.
I have grown tremendously in self awareness, education and financially.
I can't say I will never date again, but I will say it won't be until someone matches the "Me" I am now without conditions.
And if that means never, then so be it.
Wow! How insightful!
I get superscared when home alone
And I am in my freakin 40ies 🤣
I'm laughing it of, but it really isn't a laughing matter, a little piece of me dies, everytime my bf has to be away for work, I was always this way, I don't know why..
I always walk by myself every day for at least one hour, I only don't do this if it's raining or I'm sick, that hour is one of the best I have every day.
True enough you cant love others if you dont know how to love yourself
That's right. I have a social anxiety, it often makes me to feel alone. Only when I decided to accept it and understand that the social anxiety is actually part of my life, I started connecting to the right people and be happier in general.
I grew up on a farm out in the country. My drive to school was an hour. We really had no neighbors, so as kids we learned to entertain ourselves, learned to love reading, and basically learned how to be happy alone. Once I turned 19, I lived only in big cities including Paris and New York. The one thing I took with me was the ability to be comfortable and happy alone. After many years of watching so many people horrified of being alone, I realized that the little farm I grew up on had given me the greatest gift of all.... the ability to be perfectly comfortable and happy... alone.
Often when I am walking alone I take time to reflect on whom I am where I have been and where I want to go. That uncomfortable feeling of fear and loneliness is due tot he world around me seeming so much larger than who I am. I mean in the presence of all of that it can be scary. However it is this time that I settle myself and get to know me. I never want to be alone but sometimes I need to as it is the only time I can truly be me. Slow my pace enjoy the walk, reach the destination when I get there. It is no rush. It is just me, my thoughts, and the night.
Great thoughts @jwolf and I can personally say that being single for the last 2-3 years has been a great time for a personal growth. It literally skyrocketed because I started to love myself and I had time to figure out myself. I feel like I'm back in control in life and that's a powerful feeling.