Anytime a sex related topic like this comes up, it is somehow normal to see people shy away from making inputs on it, especially from this part of the world where issues related to sex is perceived to be for adults.
Premarital sex issue is that type of subject that can hit on religious tenets and doctrines. Some religion like the "Christian Religion" abhors it, thus it says "thou shall not commit fornication."
In Africa particularly, sex education is at its nadir, not so many youths are knowledgeable about sex and it's complexities. This is simply because those who are supposed to pioneer sex enlightenment and sensitization seem not to consider it apt to teach children about sex and what it's all about.
We've fallen down on our responsibility to our children by somehow creating this world where they're surrounded by images of sexuality; and yet, we as adults struggle to talk to kids honestly about sex, the rules of dignity and consent. --- LAURIE HALSE ANDERSON.
Most of our Parents wanna hide these things from us because they think they will corrupt us if they teach us about sex. The Ministry of Education(Nigeria) is pretending not to see cogent reasons yet to incorporate SEX EDUCATION into our school curriculum, even when sex related vices are springing up every now and then, and this is one of the problems African youths are facing.
Truth is, reality has proved that no matter how you try in this modern society, you can't keep the kids away from sex related materials always, either they will see it on screens, or storm into them on the net, whichever way, they will want to experiment it.
Now, it's the sensitization that have been inculcated into them that will help them manage this situations, without over reacting to hormonal excitements that comes with it. Also, its gonna go a long way to help them play safe, should they be overpowered by the heat of the moment (don't always write off this possibility).
PREMARITAL SEX SAGA.
The issue of premarital sex and the controversies surrounding it have made many to play mute to the subject from the sidelines, perhaps because it touches the helm of religious inclinations. Many prefer to ignore the topic, while others think it's too serious a subject to lay bare under the full glare of the sun for discussion.
The Pious or religious conscious ones believe it has been settled beyond contention by virtue of religious rules and doctrines, that any sexual activity outside the confines of matrimony is a sin, therefore it's needless to bring in reasoning or logic to reexamine it, irrespective of the possible risks that may play out later.
However, I have something that seems like a problem with myself, and that is the fact that 'am a "Freethinker." Am a realist, so when my puerile Reasoning clashes with religious norms or principles, I tend to pitch my tent with the former, I just wish I could cease thinking.
The intention of this thesis is not to promote sexual indecency or unsettle some religious tenets as many may instinctively be tempted to presume, but to bring to the fore the need for young people to understand the role sex could play in their relationships, and perhaps the rippling effect of holding tight to an age long religious tenet(No sex before marriage) that may be saddled with risks that can kill our eternal marital happiness.
Sex is an intimate experience, which can bring you closer to your partner not just physically but emotionally. Your bedroom chemistry can also improve the chemistry in your relationship. A sexless relationship can become vulnerable over time and therefore, you need sex to keep the fire burning.
Intimacy is a wonderful thing. It's frustrating that growing up I thought it was wrong. It isn't. Exploring your sexuality is important when you're growing up. ---- AMANDA SEYFRIED.
Sex may seem like a physical activity but it has an emotional appeal to it. It causes the body to release oxytocin, which is also called the love hormone that will make you feel that you need to love and trust your partner.
According to Wikipedia : Human sexuality is the way people experience and express themselves sexually. This involves biological, erotic, physical, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings and behaviors.
When things are great with you and your partner in bed, your confidence will increase in other areas. According to sex therapist SANDOR GARDOS, “When things go well in bed, you feel more confident and powerful in other parts of your life.”
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WHY YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER'S SEXUALITY BEFORE YOU TIE THE KNOT.
Marriage is no child's play, putting all your eggs in the hands of fate could be a risk too big to cope with if things go awry. It is easy to recite the words "FOR BETTER FOR WORSE," these are mere ceremonial rituals, and many only get to understand it's underlying meaning after the knot has been tied.
*Sexuality is one of the ways that we become enlightened, actually, because it leads us to self-knowledge. --- ALICE WALKER
A lot of factors prompted me to write this article, especially because of what I've been noticing in recent times. I might appear a boy as many thinks, however my ears have always been on the ground like the cat's and I have the eyes of a rodent.
I've seen lots of matrimonial homes that were ruined after their first night because the couples were so strange to each other's sexuality, none knew what each other wanted and they were just incompatible.
Sometimes, many see marriage as a place you come to start learning things you should have known, so often times the other partner becomes pissed off by this display of ineptitude and lack of knowledge befitting of an adult, and that isn't a good sign.
There are some things you just can't learn by observing or reading about them, you only know them by Experience, and your sexuality is one of those things.
I've witnessed couples tie themselves to eternal or internal unhappiness, this is because one of them will later be realised to be impotent or barren, even after medical reports had told them they were OK.
I've also been a friend to a woman who couldn't manage the bedroom drama between she and her husband anymore, so she had to quench her sexual thirst outside the circumference of her matrimonial bed(now, that's also adultery). So she told me, "I never slept with him before our wedding night, how could I have known that he couldn't perform, I can't live in this unhappiness, am too young to manage this." Now, this is what she should have known about her husband if they had experienced each others sexuality, perhaps she wouldn't have married him.
Truth is, when partners can't connect with each other sexually, they can never be happy with themselves. This will make them find unnecessary faults on each other because of the breach in their bedroom chemistry.
This overtime brings both psychological and emotional disconnection between married people, and soon this could lead to a divorce suit, abuse and even infidelity.
Marriage is a long Journey, so before you embark on it, think twice, don't give yourself a room for surprises, know some important things you need to know about the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with.
Are you guys Compatible sexualy? If not, it's better to take a look at another person, life is already too short, and don't spend the little time you have to live being unhappy just because you are holding firm to an agelong religion principle.
image source: Google
This is an agelong topic people always shy away from. In my own opinion I think dialogue is key, in other words,both partners should come together and discuss the matter out then choose which part to follow as sex is not all that matters in a relationship.
That's very true @catoranking
Sex isn't all that matters, it's just one of those strong bonding chords in a relationship, which if not well explored or taken into consideration by the partners, could turn out to become the bifurcating blade.
Thanks for stopping by.
Well thought out
Thanks boss.
I couldn't agree more with this post! Why we need to educate children about sex early and why you've got to know your partner. Really beautiful.
I think sex is a very important aspect of our lives and it deserves more attention and embrace, I don't see why it's looked at as a bad thing in some spheres, whether premarital or postmarital, logically there is nothing wrong with sex, it shouldn't even be avoided, because every teaching against it is just illogical.
Perhaps our minds reason alike.
I think here in Africa, we attach too much value to sex, it's too exaggerated over here, and it makes some people think its something worth forfeiting a cheque for.
Thanks for stopping by man.
I'm with @catoranking with what he said about sex not being all about a relationship. True that it needs to be revisited, however I don't think having sex before marriage is something that should be considered before the two say "I do". Sex cannot and is not a determinant of love. After all many who don't love each other have had sex several times. Take the prostitutes for example. So two people may not love each other but still be having sex just to quench their sexual desires, married or not.
However, I see your point. Good one.
@triana
Thanks a lot for your view.
however I don't think having sex before marriage is something that should be considered before the two say "I do"
Do you believe this will not give room for bedroom surprises, I mean, getting into a life time entanglement without knowing your partner?
All the same, I really appreciate your opinion, thanks once again.
Thanks.
Concerning your question, you see, I was really trying hard to say what I needed to say without sounding "religious". However, these things happen, I'm not an expert in such, I even pray I don't get a disappointing surprise too. However, the point I'm trying to make now has kind of been replied to with this your statement, "... For better for worse is easy to say..".
It may be easy to say, but one needs to take those vows seriously. It's a covenant and the God we serve doesn't break covenants. One who really follows Christ should hold on to that standard regardless of the eternal risk..
Besides, true love should actually surpass that. Yes, seems impossible and impracticable, but one who has come to KNOW God will know that such should not determine the love
Selah
Alright dear...
Thanks so much, I really appreciate.
No problem. My pleasure.
Nice one...exciting!
This quite expository and thought provoking.
One really needs to reexamine same of these status quo...
If one decides to give this a second thought, one might see obvious reasons to alter or modify his perception about all this saga about Premarital sex.
Well written @idunique
Thanks for stopping by.
It's nice that you see reasons why we need to revisit some of this imposed principles of life.
I know a friend who can relate to this. On the wedding night, she realised that her husband had a micro penis, it was technically not even there, and she had just finished secondary school, so they still had a long way to go.
She is learning to try new things with him though, so I also guess they'll be fine at the end.
Love will triumph over all!
Oh, I feel for your friend.
Stuffs like this are preventable, and she will just have to live with it, for better for worse they say.
Thanks for stopping by @Yvonne
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Yah..
Just did that.
Thanks.
Nice
Thanks dear.
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Thanks for stopping by.
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STOPThis was quite an expository...... Sex a sweet moment designed for procreation and satisfaction but one of the most deadly weapon used by many.
Thanks for the the read bro....
Wow! Well structured bro.
Thumbs up
Thanks Man.