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RE: Where are your MANNERS Discord... ?!?!

in #steemit7 years ago

You know I adore you, but I do not really do 'chatrooms.' I suck at it, I find small talk to be insanely stressful and am completely dysfunctional at it. If you posted (and I saw it, which is rare in and of itself) with "Hi everyone, I'm having a hard time" I would be all over that, hoping to give you a person to vent to/talk to or try to support you.

Whenever I see the "hi everyone" type thing, I don't really know what to say. I don't like the "hi" beginnings of conversation... I suppose my intense social awkwardness is showing through here. I just don't know what to say, so I just don't say anything. Of course, that being said, I find the whole "Hi everyone" or even "Hi @everyone" to mean that they're looking for someone to chat with and since I abhor "chatting" I don't participate. I'm so much the total introvert.

If you messaged me personally and said anything beyond "hi" I'd chat with you if I could/had the time to be there. Absolutely. Even if you were just feeling bored/lonely/in need/wanting to share a GREAT day kind of thing.

I am definitely lacking in manners, though. I hate socializing in groups, even online. It just makes me feel like a fake and stresses me right out.

I do tend to try to say "Hello" and something beyond that to random people, Walmart greeters, etc. though in person. I try to give people compliments when I can, but I'm just not the "Hi!" "Hello!" type person I guess.

I suppose a lot of people find me rude, but I do engage with people, just in a different way. I try to always find something genuine to say when I read someone's post, because I feel like that is more of a 'conversation' and that the person I'm writing to can read it when they have time (whereas chatrooms feel like forced participation right now kind of thing)

Am I really weird or what???

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You are not weird at ALL @byn and I can completely relate to what you are saying 110% I am quite a social introvert myself in real life, so, online engagement I find a lot less stressful, but even with respecting your ways, there is simply no logical or mathematical way that ALL 100+ people online feel precisely the same way... just not possible. And to take it one step further.... even if they didnt actually answer, but simply reacted to the "hi" with some kind of emoticon which many of our members do too, that would also have been grand. but what is the use, you have a community where people literally ignore someone new who walks into the room and basically continue their conversations, talking right over the individual.... that doesn't wash with me I am afraid.

Imagine that had been you. Imagine you had decided to pluck up the courage to finally engage in some general room where people were having a conversation about something that perhaps caught your eye, and you made your presence known with a "hi" and nobody even acknowledged that you ever entered the room in the first place.... would you go back again?

I know I wouldn't and wont. Not to ANY of them because I am sorry, but if you PRESENT in a place and actively talking and someone new arrives.... you bloody greet them! In whatever way is manageable to you, but you still GREET them!

Jude has told me many times that he feels too shy to say hello and I have told him that he should then just wave. He needn't speak if it makes him uncomfortable. But NOT acknowledging someone on ANY level, just doesn't fly in my books. If you were not actively engaging in the room in the first place, then yeah fine.... understandable... but this was not the case in any of the instances I encountered.

Well holy beans, yeah. I've stopped in places before, but I just immediately feel lost (like I've stepped into a place where everyone else already knows each other, the inside jokes are flying and the conversation is moving so fast, I just back right out. I can't imagine how I'd feel if I tried to say "Hi" in all that activity and was still ignored! How Rude!

I concur! lol :)