I feel like a worn rubber band today due to my dialysis yesterday because it is actually what happens to my body when I get dialyzed every time I get hooked in the dialysis machine. As a dialysis patient (In hemodialysis type) I often wait for days to get dialyzed or get to clean my blood again so I would accumulate fluids in my body as I do not produce pee anymore, so water gets trapped and no way to get out but only in hemodialysis where pressure is applied on the blood so that waste products as well as nutrients needed by the body are leached out from the blood by the dialysis machine system.
So the body is cleaned so fast and efficient that the patient can already feel the cleaning action about thirty minutes from the time they got hooked up depending on factors such as the dialyzer type, how fast blood is pumped in and out of the body, and how much water should be taken out from the patient. So the patient can feel better right away and will start to eat as the urea breath vanishes away and the appetite returns.
If you want to know what does the patient sense with their breath ever so often, then just imagine when you ingested some alcohol or wine, then replace that alcohol breath with urea breath, that is what the patient smells when they are near the dialysis day especially if the days are far in between, then you could never make use of the patient, they will surely much be feeling drunk in illness and unwellness. That is what I am enduring all the years of my life being a dialysis patient.
But I still fear death because right now I still want to do things that I myself would get surprised if I did it especially from the people around me who seemed to had lost hope and just waved the flag of giving up even before they had fought alongside me. I also feel that my parents needed me as I need them because I still do want to help them out with their wishes in life like having no problem with money and all that so that they could feel more secure and not find themselves wanting.
Leaving my lovedones unsettled is why I fear death. I just want them to get settled and have with a peace of mind before I go because especially for my parents, they are just old and dependent on their pension for food and basic necessities but if some big financial problem will arise I don't think they could get help if not get the psychological burden of handling it all. So if they would never think about money anymore after I died, I would be happy.
I really do not fear death, the prelude to it is what makes me feel stress especially when I feel that my heart is having an irregular heartbeat and doesn't know if the current beats are it's last beat. The inconvenience of dying like feeling incontinence, sudden pain, and dizziness makes me feel to not want to die when I knew that I will die in this instance or that so I just wanted to die without knowing it if not very fast then I would be happy.
life must be full of spirit, so we feel, for what we live in this world.
do not ever think of something that makes you despair, keep your spirits and make happy parents, because that will strengthen you to live.
@cryptopie
Just be positive. You wont die soon. You will live a long life and do many things in it . You will see your family well settled and help many other people as well.
It is bite, but the fact is that every person will grab his circle. You may be afraid, I am just like that, we pray that we all are well, thank you @cryptopie
Nobody is immortal we all are mortal that's why we all fear about death....
We are with you! And we have your back! I’m often at a loss of what to say in difficult situations like what you are going through but all I feel is wanting to get ur back and support you! You are loved! You have much more to live for
Thank you for sharing so personal thoughts and experiences with us. I know it’s not easy! We are with you!
You have to be much stronger, I'm sure you're beyond this stage my friend
Maybe give this one a chance: look up Urine Therapy for dialysis patients
I appreciate your feelings on this topic. I am concerned for my daughters in the event of my passing, and wonder how best to be prepared for them more so than for myself.
Keep taking care of yourself. You have a long, happy life in front of you with any luck. Cheers!
Everyone fears death, I too fear too, very close to every person of death, you have very well explained, thank you @cryptopie
i know how you feel my friend, because my cousin having dialysis like yours.. as i said Fighting! God is good! @cryptopie
People are mortal. Maintaining a healthy life is our moral duty. Death is essential to get rid of all the liabilities of our lives. I hope you get better.
which we hope to hear your healing news, for us a happy ..! by Steemit community @cryptopie
death is sure to come do not ever be afraid of death because even healthy people can die continue to be patient we are sure you will recover @cryptopie
Gratitude we can see you again in today's post ..! I hope we all as community Steemit in healthy always.
@cryptopie
Death is not your portion, you shall live long.....stay strong no matter the circumstance.All will be well.
Stop saying this, you won't die. You still got a whole lot of year ahead for you. We still have a whole lot of fun stuff to do that we haven't done. So you need to be strong ok. We love you
I sympathize with you dear friend... I've kept up with your blog and can't claim to understand what you feel... But for the fear of death, I pray God keeps you alive and lessen all that you go through so you could find more time to help your family financially...
You are such a generous and talented young man, your parrents can be proud of you, may I ask (curious cat😊) how old you are?
I am already 39 years old @cryptocatz
It's just my bones that grew older than their age.
Ow wow! I guessed you were much younger for some reason, I'm only 5 years older then you, you are brave for sharing your story, if only there was a cure somehow 😔
Thanks and it is just hard living like this. I am just thankful that I have some outlet for my thoughts but I might be better off not being born than to live like this. full of worries and despair.
Aw don't say that please, if you were never born I would never got to know you and/or your story, my shit doesn't compare to yours in a million miles, but I do know the feeling, stay strong, everyday on this planet is worth living it, and I know you have plenty more to give ❤
I love you so much that you share everything with us in your mind
You are a wonderful person and you sure have touched the lives of many people by sharing your life with us too. While I understand your reason to be afraid, I hope you also know that when that time comes (which I'M sure is far away) that the people whom you've made the lives better will be there for you 100%. Be well, my friend. Praying for you always.
All the people of the world have to go all the way, leaving everything. I hope you will be quick to recover and return to normal life my dear.
i read this post . i thank you feel free now . thanks for sharing friend @cryptopie
One of the ways of surviving starts with how you are prepared mentally, its nice to know that you are still fighting. Dont give up bro, miracle still happens.
the sudden pain, makes us instantly upset and the people close to us are very Chok and beaten
@cryptopie
WELCOME to #STEEMIT..,I am also a beginner in steemit,I hope we can work together,I am sure you are a great writer,so you show all your works in this #STEEMIT ,if you like short story,follow me @rizal.aceh, Now i am in the process of writing a short story that i will post on the #STEEMIT platform..Thanks for your
Very uncommon and head touching post. Like this kind of post very much. We expect ur more post like that. Thanks dear....
Friend, I read to you and I remember my grandfather who a few years ago, when he was among us, suffered and underwent this same treatment. That in spite of the despair and despair that he had to live, he never lost the will to live. I encourage you not to lose the desire to live! So it is very little, or a lot of the time that you remain living, do not fear, be happy because even in these conditions you have your family and friends who love you and accompany you at this time. Do not give up. Greetings from Venezuela.
Death is not a wish of a man, si you will not die...healing is your portion
Do not be think like. You know that we all will leave this world some soon and some later. When we think that we meet with God after death what is beautiful than that ?? I just think like that
Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion."On the Day of Resurrection, when people who have suffered affliction are given their reward, those who are healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world."God will give rewards us Heaven Soon! so why do we have fear??