I don't hate chat rooms per se, but I don't have time for schmoozing that accomplishes nothing. I, too, was given this same advice..."Go to PAL discord blah blah blah..."
I just can't ever seem to break into the conversation in any of those chat rooms. It messes up my vibe.
However, I did receive a valuable piece of advice one of the few times I did go to the chat room, and that was to cull your "following" list just as you're doing to shape your content consumption on Steemit. If you are following people who create poor quality content, then your experience will be of poor quality.
Anyway, I just wanted to comment here and let you know that I think your approach is spot on. Commenting on quality posts, and creating and shaping your Steemit experience. I think that Steemit is the type of platform where if the quality users all do their part, it will moderate itself and the trash will be diminished.
I also think you're right about the whales....at least the ones here since the beginning and had a hand in creating this place. It's very unfortunate.