Hey there, it's @shayne
For those of you who read it, THIS is the post that made me angry enough to write this post:
I'm going to go ahead and re-write it. Hopefully it doesn't lack anything from the original.
WE SHALL SEE! :D
But nonetheless, this is another in the series of "Steemit: What NOT To Do":
- Steemit Tips: How NOT To Behave On Steemit -- Follow-Begging
- Steemit Tips: How NOT To Behave on Steemit -- Plagiarism
- Steemit Tips: How NOT To Behave on Steemit -- Following and Followers
This post will be covering Cognitive Dissonance
Why is this an important lesson for Steemit?
My experience here on Steemit has been overall about 95% positive.
The people in this community are smart and compassionate and open-minded. It's not like Twitter where people quickly get into emotionally guarded positions and attack others like rabid baboons. Maybe it's the micro-blogging platform itself that spurs people to behave that way, but it's definitely a different experience from Steemit. (look out, @zappl)
So I'm posting this here to help you, my friends, and myself, to be aware of cognitive dissonance, when others are exhibiting it, and when you are probably doing it yourself.
What is Cognitive Dissonance
It's a phrase you've probably seen a lot on the internet lately. And that's probably because people are just discovering what it actually is that makes people so snippy and defensive online.
From Wiki
Cognitive dissonance
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort (psychological stress) experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values. The occurrence of cognitive dissonance is consequence of a person's performing an action that contradicts personal beliefs, ideals, and values; and also occurs when confronted with new information that contradicts said beliefs, ideals, and values.
My approach
When you are able to recognize cognitive dissonance in yourself, it becomes really easy to recognize it in others. So I would recommend taking the time to challenge your own most deeply held beliefs and values as an exercise of philosophical robustness. If you can recognize when and where your views contradict reality, and you are able to reevaluate those views and evolve your perspective, you will know better where I'm coming from.
I also have given up being combative with people who are experiencing dissonance. It's not useful or helpful to me or the other person, because I know that most of my experiences overcoming my own cognitive dissonance have come from being confronted and reflecting on the gnawing inconsistencies later, in private, over a period of time.
So I am compassionate and do not take remarks that come from cognitive dissonance seriously.
This is the case
I was on this Twitter post, where a user seemed not to know that the Portland killer was actually a Bernie Sanders supporter. So I decided to check and see what they knew in order to better understand what I was about to get myself into.
Seeing as how the facts conflict with their proclaimed bias, I was prepared for the usual response of cognitive dissonance, which is insult and heavy deflection.
And I was not disappointed.
See, right there, she has a preconceived bias of what a "Sanders supporter" is, and when the facts contradict that belief, we begin to see deflection "You truly believe the guy wasn't empowered by Trump's hate rhetoric?" and insult "I'll give you time to look up definition"
Trump's rhetoric has nothing to do with the guy being a Sanders supporter, so I am not addressing that. And I'm not even sure what definition they're expecting me to "look up", and since It's obviously coming from the position of cognitive dissonance, I'm not going to address that, either.
Rather, I clearly stated what I think is going on, and showed compassion and understanding. Which I expected to be taken as a challenge of some kind or even an insult.
And again, I was not disappointed lol
The deflection didn't work, so they doubled down on insults with passive-aggression. Which I countered with even more understanding and compassion, and even some encouragement, because I know what it's like to be called out on being wrong -- it's not easy! But as people it is healthy for us to be challenged and adapt our view when we are wrong. I've done it myself.
I understand that this can be taken the wrong way, but honestly, there's no other way that I can think of to express uncynical compassion on Twitter, so I just go for it and give enough room for other people to digest.
Their response to this was to insult me further and try to validate their own worth by claiming to be very educated. This doesn't actually matter objectively, however, as educated people are just as susceptible to emotional discomfort and psychological stress as anyone else, and the facts here are that this person is wrong in thinking that the Portland killer wasn't a Sanders supporter because "Sanders supporters aren't Islamophobes."
I continued.
So, I wanted Mama Bear to know that I'm not attacking her. She was all over this thread fighting with a lot of other people who were matching their own biases with hers. But that's not my game. I want her to actually think about this and hopefully check her bias, and remember that the guy who confronted her about it wasn't actually an asshole despite the fact that she was being one.
So I gave one last dose of compassion and understanding before presenting my "reliable source" (USA Today) and giving her space to digest it.
Honestly, if you are strongly defending a position against many people at once (which I'm sure we've all done), and your facts turn out to be wrong (which happens to everyone), that's a pretty embarrassing experience, and I really don't want people to be embarrassed for simply not knowing everything in the world.
I haven't heard a response yet and I don't expect one
Really, I'm not inflating my own ego here in thinking that this makes a damn bit of difference to anyone.
But the reality is that this is the way that I've had my mind changed in the past when I was wrong. So I have a system on how to confront people on issues where they have strong and irrational biases, and it's unlike what people usually experience.
People don't experience understanding or compassion online. To most people I'm sure what I do looks like a very elaborate troll. But, if people are anything like me, when they are faced with a compassionate conflict, it stands out. It can be shocking to the system. They'll check back several times and re-read, and think, and reevaluate.
Perhaps, this way, we stand a better chance of actually influencing people on a personal level rather than just spewing barf at each other, which does nothing except increase galvanization.
Share your thoughts with me.
I'd like to know what you think about this.
I think that if more people used these techniques for dealing with cognitive dissonance -- keeping your cool by not taking things personally, showing compassion and understanding, and using reason and facts -- then the Internet could be a less crappy place.
The Internet at large could be more like Steemit, and Steemit could maintain it's quality community.
That would be cool.
:D
NOT a Steemian!Yeah, you need to watch out for those guys who support @berniesanders. I hear he's a bad whale! A sad man, even.
I wonder what he should do...
Ack! I don't want to get involved with that drama!! I have no idea what's going on :(
You know your post made me look at this guys Facebook page, I think the only thing he was, was an asshole. If you look through the page he supports Bernie Sanders on Universal healthcare, he supports libertarians, white supremacists, he hates ANTIFA, and he says Bernie supporters should kill Hillary. This is one of his posts kind of sick actually posted on Jan 23:
If Donald Trump is the Next Hitler then I am joining his SS to put an end to Monotheist Question. All Zionist Jews, All Christians who do not follow Christ's teaching of Love, Charity, and Forgiveness And All Jihadi Muslims are going to Madagascar or the Ovens/FEMA Camps!!! Does this make me a fascist!!!
Wow. That's just crazy.
Well, the guy was actually insane, in my opinion. Only, that's not a narrative that the Left wants to accept right now, because they see it as a component of white privilege: "Why is it that white killers are lone-nuts while black killers are thugs?!?"
The obvious problem is, what about when they actually are insane, like this guy? It creates a serious analytical disconnect because what these people want to be true (the white killers are actually sane and just bigots) conflicts with the reality (they're probably insane, and the bigotry is part of that). Another case for cognitive dissonance.
He is clearly insane. But more to the point, calling him a "Bernie Sanders supporter" is a bit misleading. The vast majority of his views are diametrically opposed to the values that Bernie Sanders advocates for. I think it's intellectually dishonest to cherry pick his lunatic ravings in this way.
Don't try to dress it up as anything other than what it is... you were arguing with some woman on Twitter. Your attempt to try to turn it into some kind of teachable moment says more about your state of mind than the woman you're trying to make an example out of...
He showed support for Bernie Sanders. I mean, you can call that cherry picking or intellectual dishonesty if you want. The point is the person on Twitter had cognitive dissonance because the reality of this guy being a Sanders supporter conflicted with their vision of what a Sanders supporter is. If you can disprove that in some way, I'll grant your point.
I think if someone is a white supremacist that's ok as long as he doesn't trespass other people's rights and starts harming them, I don't think the supremacist thing is limited to white's, other races have people who think like that. The problem is when these people go a step further and start hating, and worst of all is if they take action based on this hate.
In the case of this guy you can say he was insane which you can deduce from his facebook page, but I think he is just a guy full of hate and wanting to blame everyone else for his own idiocy.
I often hold conflicting opinions on many topics; the product of a world full of uncertainties, deliberately or otherwise. I find this sense of being willingly unsure on many topics to be enlightening. I am not conformed to any one viewpoint or direction.
keeping all the half-finished puzzles on the table.
That said, this is a very hard state to remain in; constantly filled with bias. I choose to embrace my immediate bias - so long as I am willing to reflect critically in the future.
What you're talking about is actually a definition of intelligence: being able to hold conflicting ideas whilst not adopting them. That is a psychological asset that is vital to skepticism and rationality. Where cognitive dissonance comes from is when a preexisting bias or belief is met with conflicting evidence, and an emotional discomfort appears.
Here's an example.
Imagine that you are someone who likes both cola and dark beer. You have a glass of cola on the table, but when you turn around someone switches it with dark beer. You turn back and take a sip of your drink, thinking it's cola (because they look the same), but it is actually dark beer. You will experience a moment of psychological discomfort, not because of the flavor of the drink (because in this scenario you actually like the flavor of both), but because
Thanks for that, I understand the meaning of cognitive dissonance a bit better now.
I upvoted every reply here too because it's so awesome to reflect on all the different responses as well. This community really is amazing. Etiquette understanding is important to get on the same page with too! We learn as we go...here we g(r)o(w) again! My experience with cognitive dissonance is that it helps to show both compassion and respect for the older or more "challenged" belief while integrating a new one. Doesn't always work, but it certainly helps deflect immediate defensiveness. In many ways, insight is a responsibility and ideally a courtesy( Removing or pointing out the stone we tripped on in the path so others won't trip.) We hold onto beliefs because they make us feel safe, questioning beliefs is scary, but sometimes necessary for our safety! Keeping that in mind, let's challenge away! Respectfully
I like the way that you use CD as a tool -- cool! And yeah, the Steemit community really is a thoughtful and dynamic one.
This is interesting, but my biggest takeaway is how absolutely exhausting it is to label people and put them into buckets. All Liberals are not one thing. All Conservatives are not another. Although it may be convenient to view the world as black and white, it's never that simple. 😟
Totally agree. People are very complex. I hate it when people online say "Oh you're just a [insert pejorative identity here]!" I prefer to give a little more slack than that.
Interesting definition, i didn't know about cognitive dissonance, but i do have experienced it...
People seem to be separating themselves into ghettos of thought. So rare is it that they hear a contradictory opinion that when they do the immediate reaction is to leap fall back on the defensive "how dare they challenge my world view" Little understanding that diversity of opinion and to be challenged on said opinion is what drives this world forward, unless you're a colony of ants of course! upvoted and followed.
Social media is actually designed to create these ghettos. The more you use them, the greater the information the analytics has to present more and more things that already conform to your worldview. For instance, when I watch videos on YouTube, I often get ads for Gaia TV. When my wife watches, she gets makeup ads. Yet I have never seen an ad for makeup on my account and she has never seen an ad for Gaia TV on hers.
Yes I completely agree, In many ways, it's proving to be the greatest tool of division the world has ever seen. It creates a sense of entitlement which can lead to anger/rage when others present a difference of opinion. Especially during election cycles!
No BS you have wisdom beyond your years and I look forward to sharing ideas with you.
Although I have to admit a little paranoia about how your posts seem to coincide with my experiences here.
Is there some regular series of personal epiphanies people have here?I am speechless @shayne.
No doubt. Collective consciousness is very real.
I'm actually a mind-reader. Don't tell anyone, though.
I figured either that or you've hacked my phone. ;-)
When I first started college, I was an Art major. I especially liked artists who employed cognitive dissonance in their artwork - artists like, Picasso:
I have plans to explore art on this blog. Thanks!
Cognitive Dissonance may be the psychological "ailment" that holds the overall populous back from demanding real change. The people have a set construct of how the world works, what cultural norms are and how nobody is out to harm them. Don't disturb them on any of these points or they will lash out due to lack of information to refute anything you may have said to them.
Dissonance can easily turn violent. That is a big problem, you're right.
Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.
Well.... This banter is the reason for my existence on Twitter. 🤣🤣🤣
Steemo!
Some corners of the internet are supposed to be crappy places... It's what makes places like this so wonderful.
They don't teach logic in schools. Getting people to face their "cognitive dissonance" (which sounds a lot like double-mindedness) is not easy. Seeing your own double-mindedness is tough too. That's why you pick good friends, people who are reasonable, trustworthy, and honest with you.
I've tried to reason with liberals. I think I can forgive a young kid fresh out of college easier than I can forgive the aged, jaded, hippie liberal. Churchill's quote always comes to mind that: 'To be a conservative when you are young is to have no heart. But to be a liberal when you are old is to have no mind."
That is some of the best advise, right there!
My opinions and what I believe in does not reflect who I am personally. The thing is that people take any "attacks" on what they believe in as personal attacks. Which is a recipe for pain.
Indeed. I look at it similar to dealing with a child that doesn't understand something: you shouldn't take it personally if they become emotionally troubled; it's just that they don't understand yet.
Glad to see you wrote this out. A good piece and thought-provoking. I'd like to think I'm libertarian enough to not necessarily agree with what some people are saying, but I'll fight to the death for their right to say it. Lately though, I'm having some doubts on upholding the fatality of that commitment.
What irks me today is, I've noticed the most "educated" of my three sons is the one I least agree with. My youngest, with the least "higher" education of the three is the one with the most tolerance and common sense. I would have to agree with @steveitt in that it seems our educational system in this country does not teach these important attributes for living harmoniously anymore.
Yeah, I'm going to let other people fight to the death lol But I get what you're saying, for sure.
One thing that helps me personally is to question my own beliefs with severe questions. Like, "What if what I believe is completely wrong? What if I bought into this only because I want it to be real or true, and it actually isn't?" This is a challenging thing to do, and when I find myself hesitant to do it, I know that's a place where I'm having dissonance.
Thanks!
Ha! Yeah I get that all the time trading forex! AT LEAST 50% of the time my prediction is wrong. But it's a good mental exercise. Granted, in trading you get used to it - in life, it's harder to question your beliefs and assumptions. It pays to remember you're only human, and never infallible.
Followed you @Longshot because I like your avatar! The star looks around Wichita Falls. You know where the Hirschi high School is? I do.
Ha! Upvoted & following you back if for NO OTHER REASON than I figure yer a native-grown Texan! Sorry I don't know the place. I'm an ex-pat Texan myself, having been born in Corpus Christy, but traveled many roads since then and landing on the E. coast of Florida for the time being.
E coast? Too bad. I like the West Coast of Florida... the Gulf is beautiful in Florida... Atlantic... not so much. :) I lived in Orlando for awhile and got a bit too judgmental. LOL
Too much in endoctrination removes a connection to instinct. Dangerous if you ask me. Whereas others less endoctrinated may be more inclined to rely and cultivate their instincts for alternative survival stragedies. Didn't Einstein remark about not letting his schooling interfere with his education? Smart guy.
Don't remember that quote from Einstein, but I wouldn't doubt it. Besides being the genus he was with his "outside-the-box" thinking, he did have a lot of common sense. Thanks for commenting.
Great post, I tend to not even respond to people that are that confused about what they understand and believe. I just say what I say and that's it, I am not required to respond if the conversation is misunderstood. I am glad you shared this though so people begin to realize the belief systems they hold create this dissonance. If it comes to philosophical debate, most with degrees are taught how to think and understand. Academics mean little in the real world. Mama Bear here on twitter (which I would never join) shows us what so many do online like you addressed. And it does take a higher state of consciousness to care and show that compassion even in the face of anger and disillusionment. And it is in these moments of conflict where both parties involved are given the chance by grace to become more of who they are and leave the person they were behind. It is up to us to decide how we will respond. Great job man!
I have ignored these people, too. Only with Steemit I have an opportunity to confront these people and actually make something of it. I doubt that Mama Bear has really gotten anything out of the arguments she's having on Twitter, but because I analyzed our conversation and posted it here, it is bringing value to a community by opening up a discussion and actually financially benefiting me as well. Steemit make sit worthwhile to engage again :D
This is why I'm not on twitter. Other than the fact that I don't understand it, it seems less intellectual people are there..being educated doesn't make you an intellectual.sorry for the guy.he felt he needed to say he had 2 masters degrees to regain his twitter confidence.
Yeah, I tend to feel a little sad for people when they start waiving their credentials around. It means they're not actually confident in their own content and have to appeal to authority. Sad :(
Awesome post. Upvoted and followed.
the main reason why i stopped engaging with liberals on facebook/ twitter is because i've literally never seen one change their mind. It's just pointless, you basically just wasted your time with that interaction, but yeah, it was the reason for this post so you gave it purpose :D
That's the difference. I had given up engaging with such people as well, especially on Facebook. But because of Steemit, it's become worthwhile to do it again, because I can post it here and analyze alongside this great community :D
¿Cognitive Dissonance? Bah! same old same old. The same crap from centuries ago on this world: "It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows." - Epictetus
So, while older you go, faster you'll learn to enjoy watching them wallowing in their own mud of ignorance and let them alone drown. }:)
Schadenfroh!!
Hahaha not as much Schadenfroh as with a tiny bit of coltish & zesty experience. :)
Wow! Great post. Very well done. Very interesting. I had more fun reading the comments though. The comments are fantastic! Enjoyed. Following!
It really is a great community! And I LOVE that so many smart people follow me and share their views with me!
There is a progression beyond cognitive dissonance. I was engaged in a fairly heated debate on YouTube comments (I know... the epitome of insane threads of cognitive dissonance, perhaps beyond Facebook due to the anonymity) and this sort of debate ensued.
Here's an interesting "disorder" I came across while trying to figure out what was going on. My diagnosis: Derailment. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derailment_(thought_disorder)
This seems, at first blush, an order of magnitude beyond simple cognitive dissonance. But I think folks in the political commentary realm are increasing marching toward derailment... either through their self-inflicted mental problems, or by way of joining the crowds of polemics that spout hyperbolic tripe about the most insignificant issues of life.
Peoples gots lots o' time on der hands, mate! Oh-Em-Gee.
Derailment and willful cognitive dissonance are just tools in the bag of fake indignation, self-centeredness, and the competitive system we like to call social media. It's neither social nor media anymore.
Very good reply!
I like to call it "antisocial media" these days.