Wowza... This is the one thing about Steemit I've never understood - this ability to flag (i.e. censor) or downvote (i.e. censor in a different fashion) seems to attract pettiness, trolls, and vast misunderstandings...
I wrote a short bare-bones article about potential solutions to keep flagging in the system, while creating a means of accountability to go along with it. Even if only the first part is implemented, it adds a step to the process of flagging and also identifies the user directly and can assist in the community holding this person accountable.
I even used your circumstance as an example in my article @sethlinson :-)
I'll check out your article :)