...Is it possible you're on the autism spectrum? I share many of these qualities and had a very similar experience with other kids when I was little. People have asked me the same question whenever I have colored outside the lines or gone socially off-script.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Aspergers, it turns out. Getting diagnosed really helped me make sense of a lot of experiences in my past like the ones you describe. Knowing myself has also been a big help in curtailing habits that push people away and cultivating the qualities they typically enjoy.
I wrote All the Little People and its two sequels mostly as self-therapy. They're dark (modern day) fantasy but grounded in realism, based on experiences I had growing up as a little sperg. I've purchased Crooked God Machine for Kindle btw and look forward to immersing myself in it. Edit: So far this prose is reminding me a lot of CocoRosie songs for some reason
For years I thought I was on the autism spectrum and was actually diagnosed with Aspergers when I was around 18 or 19. I actually seem to get along quite well with people on the autism spectrum and I think we think alike in many ways. Except, I do understand people, facial expressions, social cues, etc, to an almost painful and hyper-aware degree. I think my anxiety and problems with people stem from my "giftedness" (I hate that word) + sensitive nature + childhood abuse. Only recently have I realized how many of my problems have stemmed from intelligence... I hope that doesn't come off as me being full of myself, for most of my life I thought I was a subhuman idiot.
Not at all. I am also very frank about both my talents and my shortcomings. Whether somebody who doesn't yet know me well believes I am arrogant, or a self-loathing sad sack depends on whether I'm talking about my strengths or weaknesses when the first impression is made. In reality I am neither of those things, just powerless but to be as brutally objective in evaluating myself as I am with other people. Insofar as I can be objective, anyway.
Also I love CocoRosie, although it's been a few years. Will have to give them another listen. And I'm checking out your story.
Excellent. I'm so certain it will strike a chord with you, I'll eat my own face if it doesn't. I mean what do I even use it for these days besides basic every day face stuff? Like facing different directions, or putting burritos into.
Did you know about this writing contest, by the by? First prize is $10,000 and a flight to Tokyo for two.
Just finished reading Part 1 - I think you have a raw talent for true horror, and connecting it to real life. The story managed to hold my attention the whole way through, and that's rare. Do you submit to magazines/anthologies?
I did not know about that contest. I rarely submit to contests because a lot of them are just moneymaking ventures via entry fees. I'll have to ponder on that prompt - the award is actually a decent one.
I don't. I mostly hide away from the world and write. It's how I've accumulated so much writing but nobody's heard of me outside of Reddit, Steemit or Inkitt.
Part 1 set the stage, but Part 2 is where it really takes off and blossoms into something special, imo. I hope you like to cry though. This trilogy is probably the most emotionally intense work of mine so far.
You have the talent to win that contest for sure, so it would make no sense not to enter. It only needs to be 2,000 to 4,000 words. Some big names like Margaret Atwood have thrown their hats in the ring, so competition will be stiff, but what do you have to lose by trying? Entry is free.
That was me for many years, I mostly posted on DeviantART and for many years did not post anywhere... when I published my first book I didn't look for an agent and just self-published. It was honestly a combination self-sabotage and feeling like I wasn't good enough. I'd encourage you to submit to publications, but I understand everyone has their particular reasons for doing things.
Actually when you mentioned Eraserhead press, it was the push I needed to submit. I have never doubted my talent, I am just apathetic. All I really want to do is write, write, write until they throw dirt on me. That's all of myself I can make immortal, you see. A book is as close as it gets to a real ghost. Why chase fame and money when it takes time away from writing, and will reduce the number of stories I can write before I die? I guess I do need to eat.
Eraserhead Press is headquartered right here in Portland, and loads of what I've written falls into the same niche as what they seem to preferentially publish. They're accepting unsolicited submissions atm, until June 30th. I may as well just unload my stuff on them and see what sticks. You should do the same if you're still interested.
So far, Crooked God Machine interests me most because of the unusual prose. I'm assuming it's written like this because it's from the perspective of a child, and much of the surreal stuff is just how the child sees the world...but I can't be sure of that yet. It seems equally likely that it actually does take place in some sort of quasi-realistic nightmare world.
I look forward to your reflections on Champion of the Little People. I really poured my guts into it.
I noticed that you were in Portland - you may want to come to Bizzarocon this year (It's in Portland every year) and meet some writers and editors - I had to miss last year but I should be there. I get it's probably not your thing (I find conventions can be pretty exhausting) but definitely helps to show a face when submitting.