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RE: What the fuck is wrong with you? // Growing up Anxious and Gifted // Writer's Journal

in #story8 years ago

For years I thought I was on the autism spectrum and was actually diagnosed with Aspergers when I was around 18 or 19. I actually seem to get along quite well with people on the autism spectrum and I think we think alike in many ways. Except, I do understand people, facial expressions, social cues, etc, to an almost painful and hyper-aware degree. I think my anxiety and problems with people stem from my "giftedness" (I hate that word) + sensitive nature + childhood abuse. Only recently have I realized how many of my problems have stemmed from intelligence... I hope that doesn't come off as me being full of myself, for most of my life I thought I was a subhuman idiot.

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Not at all. I am also very frank about both my talents and my shortcomings. Whether somebody who doesn't yet know me well believes I am arrogant, or a self-loathing sad sack depends on whether I'm talking about my strengths or weaknesses when the first impression is made. In reality I am neither of those things, just powerless but to be as brutally objective in evaluating myself as I am with other people. Insofar as I can be objective, anyway.