Last month I did something accidentally that flipped my life upside down. It hurt multiple people that I love and in return has caused them to hate me. I really would prefer not to say, but I promise it wasn't anything illegal, drinking, or cheating on my fiancé. This mistake caused me to lose my home and forced me to move back in with my parents. His mom told me that I am never allowed back there again. When I got moved back in and comfortable, my parents told me that Julian shouldn't have chose his mothers side and that because of that he isn't allowed in this house again and that if he truly loves me he would have went with me. When where would he go? We cant afford a house at the moment and my parents sure as hell wouldn't let him live here with me. He is paying on phone bill, motorcycle payment, car payment, and is helping his mom with his aunt who is bad in health. I have been job hunting for the past 8 months and I just now got hired for one today. After they explained why they didn't want him here anymore they gave me a bunch of ultimatums: If you don't get back with him we will turn the craft shed into a house for you, pay for your college, and buy you a car. I just told my parents that I don't know what is going to happen yet so just leave me alone for tonight.
After I hurt my fiancés mother he decided that he wanted a break for a while to make sure he wanted to be with someone that hurt his mom, because at that moment he didn't even believe that it was just an accident. After about a week he called me and told me that he wanted to talk to me, when I got there we both started crying. He said that he still doesn't know if he can be with me because of me hurting his family. He asked me if what I did was an accident and I told him yes and that I would never purposely hurt you or your family. He said okay but can I have more time and I told him not to rush and that I love him and always will. In that moment when I didn't get anything back to I love you and looking into his eyes that looked like pure death crushed me and broke my heart. Four days went by and he called me and said that he still loves me and that he was just hurt to see how upset his mom was and that he still wants to be with me. I told him that I am happy that he made a decision but please for sure know that your mind is made up. He told me that it is. We are back together and we have decided to save for a home whether that be a bus, camper, motor home, apartment, or house. We don't care as long as we get to live together again.
Work van we were looking at to turn into a portable home
1974 Volkswagen that we were looking at to turn into a portable home
My family doesn't know about our plans and in all honesty I don't want to tell them because anytime I make a decision that they dislike they will tell me that they doubt that I can do it. One morning I woke up while they were in the living room praying and I heard they say I pray those demons out of Hannah and that God would break Julian and I. For the rest of the day I stayed in bed and didn't talk to them because it hurt me. especially calling me demon possessed. The more shit I go through when it comes to christians the more I really doubt that religion. I'm not trying to tear christianity down or offend anyone when I say these thing but what causes you to want to serve some one that seems so controlling and hateful? Because I hear God loves everyone but if you do this, or this, or this you'll go to Hell!!! I am sorry for ranting I just really needed to get this off my chest and I am so sorry that I haven't been on. Down in the comments let me know how you are and everyone please know that I love you and lets all stay strong!!!
Hang in there @awkwardness, you are doing your very best, and you are doing a great job. Your parents are just worried about you, and want to see the best for you. They were raised on different ideals, during different times. Religion is what they know, and they are praying for you in hopes that you will make decisions that will be beneficial to you. Although it may seem hurtful that they see you as possessed, they do not know how else to see things. I don't think they are ready for their baby girl to be a woman yet. This is new to them, and by you making your own adult decisions that they do not agree with, they resort to falling back on the only thing they understand for spiritual guidance. Even if it doesn't align with your beliefs, they have your better interest in mind. They love you, and care deeply for you. Good luck with things. I will be here anytime you need to talk!