This was amazing!! You didn't bring me into the story, you yanked me! I could taste that cake! I've fasted before a diet and my body remembered the way it felt through your words, the cravings and hunger pains, all of it.
His eyes looked like black circles of missing space as if an artist had abandoned a work-in-progress portrait.
Utterly brilliant description, painting with words. I was so engrossed that by the time I finished I'd forgotten it was a short story! Fantastic!
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Hey lovely @dreemit!
I literally just finished commenting on your story! Great minds, eh? Lol! Thank you so much for your awesome feedback. I'd been meaning to put this one out there for a while so thought why not now before continuing the book. So glad you appreciated it. Your kind words mean the world! :)
Thank you so much and bless you from the bottom of my heart! :)
Hey would you mind giving me your critique on my short as well? They are based on real life scenarios and I am going to start a weekly series. Thanks!
https://steemit.com/prison/@aceangelo610/when-regular-guys-land-in-prison-chronicle-one
Sure I'll have a look...wow, you are perusing some archives to be on this story, that's fantastic. I always wonder if anyone does that besides me :)