The incessant churn woke him. A low rumble followed by a rising high pitched gurgle had become all too familiar. The sense of urgency and panic tried to push its way into the fore, but not before Lee grabbed on the reigns and yanked back hard. The alarm clock next to him displayed it had just gone 3am. He rolled onto his back and rubbed at his bleary eyes. Even arm movements were strained, with feeble and awkward jerks. Energy levels had all but evaporated. Yet, the worst was still to come.
A shaky hand fumbled for the light switch by his bedside table until it found the smooth, plastic indentation. A quick press and a low hue scattered across the room. He shut his eyes and counted slowly down from three. Taking his time, he prepared for the mental battering of the day. Being bored out of his mind, yet unable to think of nothing else but…
He opened them and propped himself up against the wooden headboard behind him. A squiggle of floating, multi-coloured shapes obscured his corneas before he squinted back into focus. The array was just as it had been set out before turning in for the night. Encircling his bed like a holy shrine at a monetary and what a beautiful sight it was.
No less than an assortment of fifteen mouth-watering cakes were placed upon their own individual stools. Each one presented on a pale, white doily. The ultimate vision of sugary bliss basking there in front of him. Enticing him to just take a bite. It’s soft, snowy textures filled with shaded lines of deep red. At first glance, it had been difficult to differentiate if it was strawberry or raspberry sauce inside. The wise thing to do would have been to simply not look at it and intentionally create some sort of barriered tunnel vision, ignoring its alluring call. But the smell was something he found impossible to cast aside even with the sharpest levels of concentration. Some say smell is the sweetest of the five senses, but to him, only a savage curse.
He fought the urge, but instead entered into a state of temporary hypnosis. Although most times it felt more like psychosis. He pushed himself to his knees upon the mattress and shifted on all fours to one particularly inviting slice of cream filled chocolate cake. The wafting scents slid upward through his nostrils like vapours sprung from heaven itself. With a trained imagination, it was said one could conjure associated feelings of taste without ever taking a single bite. He stared at the slice before him. That soft, spongy dark coat oozing a thick, moist sweet sauce. The thought of smearing it around the raised ridges of his pallet as his tongue pressed hard up into it. An explosion of sheer delight and legendary ecstasy. An untamable pining burned through his very core as his fingers twitched with excitement.
Saliva spread throughout his mouth and trickled down his gullet. Then another low growl echoed from some deep corner in his shrivelled belly. He brought a hand above his head and smacked himself across the face. Any persistent cobwebs of tortuous imagery were wiped clean away with immediate effect. He studied the small, green paper flag poking out of the brownish crusted top layer. A white sticker with the number 12 was emblazoned on its middle. It looked as if it was written in Biro. He scanned along the curved row of treats around his bed. Each one bearing their own sequenced, numerical emblem. A flag with a number pasted on.
A sudden rush of anger coursed through his entire body. The feeling of a foreign cancerous tumour gnawing at his very soul. Except the form this vicious abomination took on was of a toothpick stuck into a morsel of pure undiluted pleasure. He reached out and grabbed the sharp point. On the ready to pull it out and snap it clean in two. Instant gratification in a bottle.
He shot a look up at the small black object affixed to the far corner of his room, within a hairs breadth of touching the ceiling. A circular lens gleamed in the soft lighting. The imminent rage washed away, only to be replaced by the normalcy of fear and worry. Eyes behind the camera were ever watchful. Never blinking or sleeping. In this world of his existence, it was tantamount to God. And woe betide anyone who crossed it.
The main hall was almost silent. The regular din of activity now reduced to an eerie silence. Sweaty gym equipment had been cleaned and prepped for the break of day. There were lines of exercise bikes, weight lifting apparatus, blue workout mats, medicine balls and makeshift assault courses. Patterned neatly into a structured and organised arrangement. Even the fitness products themselves were of the highest standard. But in terms of how frequently they were being used on a daily basis, this made total sense. Arched, church-like tinted windows ran along each side of the large special hall, furthering it’s grandiose appearance.
The recreation room light had been switched on, visible down a corridor to the left. Having been robbed of any sleep due to the intense cravings, he meandered over to peer through a square sheet of glass buried into the frame of the door. The television's glow danced upon his face as he noticed a shadowy figure slumped into one of two expensive leather sofa chairs. Just from the silhouette alone, the identity of the stranger in question was unmistakable. He opened the door and slipped in.
“The Jake-Man” he called out, causing the figure to jump in his seat. ”Finally, we got you back with us. Where’ve you been hiding?”
”Lee! Oh boy, you got me good. Real good. But next time, give me a little prior warning if you’re gonna scare me like that, OK?” he answered, beckoning him over to the vacant chair.
”Now, where would be the fun in that.” he asked crossing the room. His grey slippers gave off muffled shushing sounds as he dragged them upon the polished linoleum floor. ”Don’t you want some light in here apart from what’s being thrown at you from the screen? You’re gonna do your eyes in like that.”
”Oh, don’t worry.” came a soft reply. ”I’m just contemplating is all. Had trouble sleeping. To be honest with you, I wasn’t even watching this trash. Just needed some sort of change. Something, anything going on in the background.”
As Lee fell into his comfortable seat, he could just about make out Jake’s facial features. His hollowed out cheekbones cast small darkened areas upon the rest of his features. His eyes looked like black circles of missing space as if an artist had abandoned a work-in-progress portrait. The white nightgown he wore sunk into the crevasses of bones hidden beneath it. A stark contrast to the man he had been introduced to just a mere three months ago. He may go on to be one of their greatest success stories, he thought.
”So, tell me. What happened? The boys were worried sick, although I knew all along you were alright. Still, you did just disappear into thin air like. We all assumed what had happened, but couldn’t be sure. So, what’s the scoop?”
Jake held his left arm into the air and displayed it in the gloom for Lee. He narrowed his eyes in an attempt to distinguish what he was looking at. Some bandages seemed to be wrapped around it as he could also be seen flexing his fingers.
”I can’t see properly, Jake. Let me put the light on.” He got back out of his chair before Jake even had a chance to respond. The light switch near the entrance flickered on.
”That’s better. Why we didn’t do that in the first place. I…” He froze with horror as an acidic shot of bile forced it’s way up his throat. He swallowed it back down soon enough. ”What the hell!” he screamed, lunging toward Jake.
”Goddamn it, Lee. Please, would you keep it down!” Jake growled in a husky whisper. ”Just sit down before you pass out or something.”
Lee could not keep his eyes of Jake’s hand. In the clarity of the overhead lights, he saw that it was only his hand that was bandaged up, stopping short just above the wrist. Two fingers and a thumb were the only projections beyond his palm. The ring and little finger were all but missing. Jake examined it with a morbid curiosity which caused Lee even greater alarm.
”Oh my god, Jake. You… you didn’t…” he asked in a tremble.
”Yes, I did.” he replied matter-of-factly. ”I ate a “3”. Just a small mouthful, that’s all. You know what the cravings are like. But that's all it takes. A moment of weakness and look where it’s got me.” He raised the disfigured hand even higher to bring the point home.
”But, I mean, how could they do this to you! It’s madness, insanity!” said Lee, who was on the verge of another full-on panic attack.
"Just calm yourself down.” said Jake. ”They did this to me? Or did I do this to me? I knew the consequences. I was aware of what I was doing. So how can you blame them?” He let out a smug grin as Lee’s terror heightened.
”No, Jake! We didn’t sign up for this! Not physical mutilation! This is permanent! You’re stuck like this forever! Can't you see that?” A single tear rolled down his cheek and disappeared into the corner of his mouth.
Jake leaned forward in the chair, his face looking even more gaunt and malnourished than it had any decent right to be. A shudder ran down Lee’s spine.
”You got a short memory.” Jake continued. ”Remember the fine print? The agreed one year stay at this facility? Not forgetting the hefty price tag to match? Once we’re in here, it’s their rules and no second chances? In fact, you could say I’ve actually paid for this. Remember, either through your methods and their very own, we're all guarenteed to lose weight one way or another.” Jake chuckled as he looked down to admire himself.
Lee’s was transfixed in anguish and despair. There’s was no logic or reasoning that could explain the placid and composed nature his best friend was exhibiting. It was all beyond comprehension.
”You joke about it? Have you lost your mind? Look at yourself, damn it.” he growled. ”That ain’t just a cut that’ll heal up and right itself in time. They’ve dismembered your fingers! And all because of your basic humanistic instinct and desire! All because you were hungry! What about implementing a 3-strike rule or something?”
”Don’t gimme that shit, Lee.” he replied in a calm demeanour. ”We came here because if we didn’t, we’d have eaten ourselves into an early grave. That’s the crux of the matter however you look at it. There’s a pandemic going on right now and harsh problems require harsh solutions.” He relaxed back into his chair and sipped a glass of water he had been holding in his other, unblemished hand.
”What would you rather? Die suffering of a heart attack on the street or in some hospital bed? You can bet your bottom dollar, at that point you’d give your right and left arm just to stay alive. But guess what. I’m not there yet and neither are you. We still have time to fix all the damage sustained and need drastic measures to make that happen. So be it. I lost a few fingers. But not only do I have another full hand to compensate, but also a constant reminder for the rest of my life about not being led by temptation and looking forward to a long and healthy life. People have grown weak in society. Just look at the statistics now. 1 in 2 people are classified as obese. You believe that? 1 in 2! Technology and the imbalance of wealth has made us lazy and weak. The government can't cope with the financial burden we're putting on them. Hence camps like this are what we need! As radical a cure as this may be. I’m telling you now, Lee. I’ve never be touching a cake or any sugary killers ever again. In fact, I’m finding the thought of ingesting that shit just plain offensive now.”
Lee remained wide-eyed and shocked, still glaring at the handy work of the surgeons working at the facility. ”I don’t know what to say, Jake.” he muttered. ”You say you took a small bite out of a “3”. What if it had been a “4” or “5”. Or even higher?”
”Well” Jake replied. ”I’ve been staying here a damn sight longer than you. And I know for a fact. Rupert took an “8”.”
Lee’s hands went to his lips. ”I thought Rupert just didn’t like to talk much or had a speech impediment. Please don’t tell me it was more than that”
Jake smiled in self-assured satisfaction and understanding. ”A hell of a lot more. You stay in here long enough, you'll realise the true meaning of boundaries and self-control. I learnt the hard way. But yeah, you take an “8”. You get what’s coming to you. But it'll make you a better person in the process. They provide us with all the entertainment we could wish for and fresh produce to eat. There’s really no reason why we have to break the rules. But greed is a very real cross we all have to bear and, myself included, people will be people and do the stupidest of things.”
Lee scoured the room. A surveillance camera loomed down from above, watching and recording their every move. The whole facility replicating the same invasive layout. Not one area escaped the watchful eye of the hidden faces behind the lens. He ran a hand through his hair, stretching each strand to keep him attentive and alert.
”But what if we need to get out of here. Like, if I really can’t take this anymore?” he asked, forlorn and resigned.
”Come on, Lee. You already know the answer.” he replied with a smirk. ”We signed on that dotted line, right? We ain’t going anywhere until the fat lady sings, so to speak. You got about nine months to go now. Trust me, you’ll be a very different person than the one you are now when you reach where I'm at. Everyone here will.”
Lee glanced down at Jake's hand again.
”Don’t worry about this. I’m not.” Jake retorted. ”Just make sure you do everything in your power to avoid ending up like this. If you can. They're watching you all the time… And will show no mercy, however much you beg.”
Lee looked down at his own hands. Pudgy and soft. He dove deep inside himself and discovered a new determination to succeed. A drive to push forward and conquer his affliction. He paid top dollar for this and would make every cent count if it was the last thing he ever did.
His stomach groaned with hunger and was unrelenting with it’s voracious appetite. ”Never mind.” Lee whispered to himself under his breath ”It’s all gonna be just fine. You'll see...”
I like the story!
Hey @funnyman! Thanks very much, buddy! :)
Could you check out my short also and tell me what you think? I would greatly appreciate it...
https://steemit.com/prison/@aceangelo610/when-regular-guys-land-in-prison-chronicle-one
Haha, brilliantly disturbing. It's almost like the movie Saw and a fat camp together. :D
Lol. Love your analogy, bro! Guarenteed wight loss, lol! Institutionalisation at it's best!
Thanks for the awesome comments, my brother.
This was such a nice surprise! A welcome interruption from The Symbiotic Protocol. As someone who underwent my first major diet, I have to say that you captured every grueling second so accurately. Reading this, I felt like I was reliving the entire nightmare all over again. Get out of my head!
The first part has got to be one of the best works of literature ever. It set the scene so effectively that I can't help myself empathize with Lee. The descriptions were so powerful, and the imagery was painted quite beautifully. I felt my sweat drip with every word. The second part was icing that was completely necessary to complete the dish. It rounded up the story quite splendidly, and it really capped the piece nicely. The ending was just so perfect!
Nice to have little surprises like this to remind everyone why my bro @ezzy is king of painting imagery with words!
Hey @jedau!
Oh man, kind kind words indeed. Yeh, this was a story I had planned for a while and was in fact quite a bit longer than this short. I found there were many possible avenues be to explored with the concept. But I can't leaving the book hanging like that for too long, lol.
Thanks, my bro. I personally love pieces where the reader is thrown into the mix and slowly the story is fleshed out through pace and narrative. So your comments are, as always, much appreciated and mean everything to my writing.
May I also wish you congrats on the success you are having with your phenomenal literary artwork. An ingenious twist on perspective, very cleverly done.
Bless you and keeping on writing, my brother!
No, no, no, my brother. The spotlight is on you in this post :D In my opinion, the decision to write this as a short story really worked. Prolonging the struggle might stagnate the impact a little bit, but if there's anyone who could effectively spin it, I just know that it's my bro @ezzy
Man, What a great short story. At the beginning I had no clue where it was going but when the plot started to unfold halfway I had to know what was going on! Man that is some disturbing way to lose some kg. Lol Your creative mind knows no bounds! Loved it!
Hey, @exyle!
Thanks so much! Any short story I write will usually start off with a few "wtf" moments followed by a slow unravel of story as it progresses.
But your awesome comments help me know that's I'm possibly on the right track with that formula. Thanks again, my brother!
This was amazing!! You didn't bring me into the story, you yanked me! I could taste that cake! I've fasted before a diet and my body remembered the way it felt through your words, the cravings and hunger pains, all of it.
His eyes looked like black circles of missing space as if an artist had abandoned a work-in-progress portrait.
Utterly brilliant description, painting with words. I was so engrossed that by the time I finished I'd forgotten it was a short story! Fantastic!
Hey lovely @dreemit!
I literally just finished commenting on your story! Great minds, eh? Lol! Thank you so much for your awesome feedback. I'd been meaning to put this one out there for a while so thought why not now before continuing the book. So glad you appreciated it. Your kind words mean the world! :)
Thank you so much and bless you from the bottom of my heart! :)
Hey would you mind giving me your critique on my short as well? They are based on real life scenarios and I am going to start a weekly series. Thanks!
https://steemit.com/prison/@aceangelo610/when-regular-guys-land-in-prison-chronicle-one
Sure I'll have a look...wow, you are perusing some archives to be on this story, that's fantastic. I always wonder if anyone does that besides me :)
Whoa! I was following your book and then I get slapped in the face with this!Love your stories and this one is no exception. I see a future like this happening if we keep going the way we are.Crazy bootcamps where people are driven to extremes to control excess pleasures.
Reminds me of something out of "Black Mirror", lol. Excellent work, keep it up! (p.s. looking forward to the next chapter of the book, don't leave us waiting too long)
Hey @myb!
Thank you humbly for the praise! I had this idea floating around for a while and wanted to get it out there before continuing with the book. Yeah, I mean, if people can't control their urges anymore and eat themselves sick, you may get hardcore boot camps in the near future opening up that go to extremes lengths to save peoples lives. But in my story, they all agreed when they signed the contract beforehand. So once they're in there, they belong to the company. Until they are "fixed". In essence, terrifying the human mind into obedience.
Thanks so much for the great praise, my brother! :)
I love short stories! Awesome. If you would like to share your stories and critique mine I would appreciate the input! Link below...
https://steemit.com/prison/@aceangelo610/when-regular-guys-land-in-prison-chronicle-one