Perhaps it may have crossed your mind if you have been reading the previous blog posts that I have had a hard time dealing with life occasions, and maybe even had a strong form of depression. Signs were there at least. But whatever, I am a sensitive guy, who overthinks way too much. It were occasions that can happen in the blink of an eye. Occasions where you have barely any control over. Well, yeah, I got sucked into space where there seemed to be no light waiting for me at all. The pain and all the sadness in my head increased mostly because I focused on it, for the full 97,34%. Kind of a death trap.
If incoming paragraphs equals TL;DR: Scroll down.
To me, the idea of meeting up with people I have talked with for months was kind of exciting, and at the same time it would test my trust-issues, trust that I usually easily put into people for no reason at all. Shit I do that makes it maybe look like that I am ass licking to other people, but I don't really judge or treat people differently in general, so you can say that I reject people that are shallow-minded whenever they think that I am. The idea of traveling again actually felt pretty good. So let's go. Hop on that plane and gtfo that death trap.
It is the 19th of May, 2018. It is the 2nd day of the weekend and tomorrow I would fly back to the Netherlands. Or am I? After meeting all these people and getting to experience the synchronized energy that we share, I didn't really want it to end already. Before going to Tallinn I already talked about it with my roommate that I might want to go to Helsinki afterward since it was just a boat trip away. His last text before flying "Let money not be a barrier, do what you want". As cliché as it sounds like, it actually helped me, by not giving a shit about the size of my bank account. Perhaps to see if I could meet up with the asshole-douchebag, generous, but IMO, undervalued @Acidyo who kind of bailed the fuck out on this trip. His excuse: "I am in a wheelchair fuckface". I tried to convince @Elliotjgardner, the master Shiller of @Smokenetwork and creator of dead chats in the DZ chat every time he talked about the ICO (bro, seeing your passion and ambition made me buy this shitcoin). But without success, so Amsterdam it is! Even the surprising @anomadsoul was trying his best to find his way to Europe, but with bad news on the way he could not make it in the end.
Even though that I've met these three people over the internet, I think we would have had a fucking asshole-trolling-good time with a lot of shitty dad jokes if we were able to meet, perhaps we could discuss some stuff about Steemit in our own way. Why do I talk about them if they weren't even here? Well, they are just assholes for not coming and missing out on this opportunity.
I learned a lot about the Steemians that showed up. For example, I had no idea who @celestal was, I guess he entered the Danger Zone while I was fucking around and had to take a break from Steemit and chat, or @Kristves, who was she? @TheBunBun I only knew because of her gaming and thoughtful boyfriend @BeerCake who I played games with during times when 'normal' people try to get some sleep, sometimes even until dawn. @Eveuncovered, @M31 and @Escapist are people I chatted with in chat, and I think we shared some similarities and in overall, we all have this fucked up humor people usually gets easily uncomfortable with.
So here we are, instead of chatting behind a screen, not knowing exactly 'how' we say and read things there, we are now getting drunk in a park where we could enjoy the part of being together as a group. Laughing at each other for our differences and weird behaviors, but without judgment. You see, this is one of the foundations where friendship could be built upon. No judgment. Be who you are, fuck what others think and realize you are just as weird as someone else might be in your eyes.
Being home now, and reading all the posts about the meet-up, I had some troubles to find a way how to express myself other than just in photographs to tell you guys what more this meet-up brought me on a personal level. Long story short: I haven't slept for 7 months, now I am sleeping like a baby. Mostly because all you guys shared your different perspectives on things without you maybe even realizing. So thanks. I guess I have to say thanks to @eveuncovered as well since she was pretty concerned about me during the trip. Apparently, she has been reading my depressing posts and felt the necessity of helping me out.
To refrain me for further exploitation about the matters of life in a way too long blog-post, just hop on the cheery topics of this blog-posts.
If above paragraphs equals TL;DR: Start here.
This is what we did in Tallinn
@BeerCake and @TheBunBun brought something for all of us: Chocolate balls from Latvia
Danger Zone got Drunk at the 5th most fanciest place in Tallinn. "It's a shithole, but it's our shithole and I like it" - @BeerCake.
If some of us did not know that alcohol has a expiration date, now you do (we went here twice).
We occasionally shilled some eggs during our backpack journey through old-town.
)
Made hidden in plain sight fruit-cocktails with Gin.
And tested out some various Gin & Tonics, with some snacks.
Had a real shitty rum review I can't even remember having with @BeerCake.
Training our legs by walking about 15km a day.
This is not all we did, there are some moments we didn't capture with our phones or cameras. Guess we totally zoned off for a moment. We had hamburgers, we walked and chatted about Steemit, about its troubles and potential. It was kind of funny because I already thought @BeerCake and me had our similarities because of our humor, we had our good and interesting (drunk or not) discussions over Discord and shared a good amount of time gaming together. It didn't surprise me to hear him throwing one-liners that reminded me of shit I used to say to my brother. I can't remember what he exactly said, (it was kind of that time just outside of the Patcave), but at that moment I laughed. Anyway, we had a lot of fun with the 8+1 of us! I am happy to have finally met the people who I have been chatting with for quite a while and to have met @celestal, @thebunbun, and @kristves (thank you for your hospitality and city-guidance). And obviously, @Greddyforce, who blindly trusted strangers in his house and drove us to magnificent places. All of you may have been a part of my 'healing-process' (insomnia shitty days).
So, in the end... did I go to Helsinki or not? Guess you will find out sooner or later!
Cheers,
Ruben
I could've easily imagined you and @Beercake riding away into the sunset together. :D Had a real pleasure meeting all of you!
That would be a dream come true! Sunset, hand in hand, running. Ditto!
Gotta admit, initially while not knowing you I was a bit like "Ruben, who's that guy...", but when some excellent Estonian sausage was given from a man to man, what else can you think but "okay, this dude might be alright" (easiest way to bribe my trust is food 😂).
Fucking great you decided to come, it's a wonder how the right relationships (wonder indeed especially with fucked up people like us) can have such positive impact for the mind, to break out of the overthinking trap and downward spiral.
Btw, that egg eating picture of you always "cracks" me up xD
Haha, yeah, right back at you! I actually told @Escapist and/or @Eveuncovered that I didn't know 'her' (LMAO) and they were like; her? @Celestal is a guy! What girl has a mohawk, and I am like, mohawk? I didn't even know you have that avatar on chat. Maybe that's why I saved the sausage in the first place... heheh, ah well, that sausage was too good to not share.
Hell yeah, I snapped in it, and now I snapped out of it. What egg picture? It's just me eating some leftovers from breakfast. ROFL
HAHHAHAHA 🤣
The last pic of you guys together was the coolest. It's good to see you guys together like this, having fun, laughing, drinking, eating and connecting.
I am happy this trip is helping you heal too. I hope it brings you out of your depressed state completely.
Do keep being happy and great.
The trip got me completely out of my 'death trap', that was an unexpected bonus! Thanks for tuning in @warpedpoetic. See you @SNDBOX?
Sure. That's a good thing. Great friends do that.
Definitely, I'll be there
.
Really glad you have such fond memories of us! :)
It did feel like "brotherly" exchange of jokes and giving shit to each other :D
Haha! Yeah man! It is so weird, it felt like we just knew each other for a long time already. Like 'ah, just casually meeting up in Tallinn, nothing special or new here, where do we go next time? sure, oke.' Until next time @BeerCake!
In the end, I think you didn't need anyones help, you just needed to get out of the same circles and routines back at home. You needed a reminder that you like to travel, see new places and meet new people :)
Maybe, maybe not. You drained all the energy out of me tbh. Not trying to be a jerk or something. But god, I really didn't expect that you would consume so much energy. Just kidddingggggg, I wish that we gave a goodbye hug, so I could brag about it to all my fwends, because you're just always being you.
That is how I stay alive, I just suck the life out of the people around me. It’s much cheaper than buying food! 💁🏻♀️
Aww, I guess we need another meetup so we can say goodbye again, hug included!
Pinky promise?
Lupaan ja vannon, kautta kiven ja kannon, ja jos sanani syön, niin mörökölli minut vieköön.
Try google translating that 😝
Is this a saying in Finnish? A broom would actually suit you... so not sure if this is worth any :-p
It’s a finnish version of ”cross my heart and hope to die” 😁
That's a pretty epic journey! Glad to get through it. Glad you had some healing relief from your insomnia. Gosh your photography is well done! Love that last group picture. Happy healing adventures! Much ❤
Thanks! Haha, sorry for all those long posts, I really appreciate that you took your time in reading them all, and commenting. I feel so much better after the meet-up. Enjoy your day.
You'd better have some awesome Helsinki stories too! :)
Maybee... we'll see...
The suspense is killing me!
Fascinating story. Weird as this may seem steemit is my first true international experience. I have never been outside of Lithuania. And even online my interaction with outside world was limited to occasional comments on the let's plays and a few tweets. I never had any foreign friends(insert Nelson: Ha Ha!). Even in my own country I was at times worried.that girl lives 50-100 km away from me. thats so long distance. No point in even trying. I had these thoughts in the past.
It is weird that in this place I found people who I like more than some people in the real world. Interesting people. People I would even call my friends. Models, inspirations. Few cool chicks. and so much more. This place is exciting to me. Revitalizing even. I am still learning the ropes around here. So it is nice to hear success stories about steemit and real life mixing together.
@fieryfootprints, I don't know you, but let me tell you this. Life starts at the end of your comfort zone. 100 meters might be a lot to you, but once you have explored that, you start to get a hunger towards expanding your comfort zone and to seek out the joy life has to offer. I usually always try to find the border and limits of my own expectations, of course, I have set up many limits and barriers for myself that I need to overcome. This is the introvert part of me, while I can be very extrovert as well, and perhaps sometimes even both at the same time.
Once you realize you should've done the things you'd like to do sooner, do not regret, but start doing more to keep up the pace. The screen-world is temporary, while it gives you the opportunity to create chances in life a lot easier. Just get out there and fuck what people think. I usually was afraid that people didn't like me, maybe that's why I was being nice -all- the fucking time. Now I am more afraid that I do not like people, so I try to not judge anyone by its cover or behavior.
On the last day of my stay, I actually gave all my food away to a hobo. Socially rejected by society, in search of thrown away food and plastic empty bottles that he could sell for 0.10 cents each. While giving something doesn't always mean a lot in materialistic ways. I spend an hour with him and chatted about his life and what he does now to keep on fighting. He just lives his life every day and accepts that everything will come and go. Picture you being him. What would you do?
Cheers,
concern about distance was the thing of past. Now I don't think that any distance will stop me. It is true that stepping out of comfort zone is important. during celebration of 2018 I decided to do just that. For the first time in my life I went into a nightclub. Alone. Without any friends. I wanted to have fun without alcohol so I didn't drink at all. It was super awkward but at the same time I really enjoyed the night. Dancing as well. but more so my journey towards the club and later wandering through the city in the middle of the night.
Great pictures! Looking forward to your next post, to see if you did go to Helsinki ;-)
Let's find out ;-)
Que buen trabajo, good post. If we exchange votes??
Lucky fuckers!
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Sorry, who are you? Trolling? Or seeking attention? I don't do random downvotes, but this comment I will flag. Not fond of false accusations, nor wasting my time to actually check if this occurred.
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I am going to be pretty blunt and salty: People, in general, don't like unwanted advertising, is the group not already aware that you vote on them on a regular base? The comment section is not for advertising. You force me to read something, it's great that you have a supportive initiative as a group and that @warpedpoetic is in there as I am fond of him.
Would you like to have "another one" - @BeerCake?
Accepted on the advertising. @warpedpoetic does do some serious poetry that is for sure, Has also been an Inspiration to the beginning of this group.
This is our 1st flag on a learning curve. Thank you for the sharing of wisdom.
deleting comments
No problem. I'd rather have you engage with the author's post through the findings of your members. It's basically the same thing, but much more genuine if you put in some time and interest in what your members comment on. You would much more likely get rewarded for it as well if you are in luck ;-). Whether it is in an upvote or a follow. Engagement is priceless, and shouldn't be copy-pasted responses.
Cheers,