Thanks for sharing your insights @eaglespirit. Yes, being genuine and sincere are very important and can be felt regardless how clever you try to pretend. People have emotional antennas that detect sincerity. In a relationship, if those qualities are not there, then there's no point to carry on. But again, saying sorry (even if the person doesn't mean it) is much better and has less damage than not saying it at all and just continuing to argue and give excuses and even attack back and try to win... That's really devastating.
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@nuridin, it is a matter of perspective. I have been in enough relationships that include my family that would not accept something that is not meant. Period.
Word are just words. If they have no meaning there is no point in saying them. If it is forced, it then can be an abusive issue. You are then forcing someone to do something they do not really want to do. Some people feel that is a part of controlling behavior and narcissism.
I don't think you're getting my point... When you say sorry if you do something wrong, nobody is forcing you to do that... You're doing it with no outer influence. And it's much much better to say sorry when you hurt people whether you mean it or not, than keep on going hurting them. That's the point.. This doesn't include saying nice words of compliment if you don't mean them or saying words of love if you don't mean them or all that.... This is a very specific post about a very specific situation which is: positive intentions don't matter if your words are wrong and hurt others.
I totally understand what you are saying, and you did ask all of us to choose, and I did. You stated you had a point and your co-worker had a point. To say or not to say. Maybe you do not like what I am saying because it was not your side?
I agree with her. I do not believe she was saying the intention is a "good excuse" but it is something to definitely consider.
I also feel that this is an issue when you state:
I feel the world has become overly cautious and overly sensitive. It is as if we cannot say a damn thing without hurting someone's feelings. This is just my opinion and you did open the discussion up for different perspectives. Right?
I looked through the posts and it looks as if most people who commented seem to agree with your process, so that makes it easy. I am one that does not. It is a different perspective. I am going to stop after this post as it is now feeling more like an argument because I do not share the same.
Of course I welcome your input... I'm just further explaining to you my point, and I don't feel it's an argument, but rather exchange of opinions. It's through the difference of opinions that pictures become clearer for both parties, so please don't feel I'm trying to suppress your point of view .... That's being too sensitive which you clearly stated we should stay away from... :) Please don't be discouraged from expressing your views even if we have different stand points... I appreciate your input always ..