This is a very nice poem and I enjoyed reading it greatly. Well done :)
I hope I am not overstepping my bounds but as one poet to another I have couple questions. Why do you keep the us in "Life passes us by"? And when you say "Enjoy them! Revel in them..." Why keep the in? And where you say "tick past" I would have said trickle past but that's just more the types of metaphors I choose.
I wonder about those two words though because your poem has a very nice flow too it and those two words feel deliberate but also an interruption to how I would have spoken that flow.
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