So I am doing fine. I’m emotionally stable. I have space between me and my feelings, mostly, and when I don’t, it seems to be largely contained to one particular part, which I’m wanting very much to work on with M. I know I will feel much better once that part is healed, unburdened, and I’m guessing a few more weeks between now and the completion of that process.
My therapy is going well. I’m back to weekly sessions and seem to be largely on the other side of the painful attachment work. I feel things… but the security in the relationship is there. I know I can talk about relationship stuff any time I want to… but feel more drawn to prioritizing the work itself. I suppose there may be lots about my feelings for him that M may simply never know. Or… maybe I’ll work it in five minutes at a time at the beginning or end of sessions. Yeah… I like that idea… a lot. A way to have my cake and eat it too.
I wish I had more therapy time than one hour a week… and I’m thankful for that hour a week. I’m grateful for how much we are able to get done in the time M and I have together. Mostly I’m grateful for him… and all the ways he has helped me. I wouldn’t be who I am today without his faithful and steadfast accompaniment over the past nearly five years.
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