If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.
― Jean-Paul Sartre
Yesterday I wrote about why we need to cherish our solitude, the difference between being alone and feeling lonely, and how it is possible for some people to attain peace and equilibrium by embracing aloneness. I also pointed out that to truly enjoy someone's company, we must first learn how to be happy on our own.
It is quite understandable how we were forced to learn the meaning of happiness by society's standard. We were taught that it is something we need to acquire. It is a conditioning difficult to unlearn as we grew up listening to love songs repeatedly, watching romantic and fairy tale movies and believing in advertisements.
Temporary happiness can be achieved by buying nice things, having a lot of money, being with friends, moving to another city, and traveling the world. But we bring ourselves wherever we go and we can still be lonely even in the midst of the crowd. Happiness is not something to be acquired, it needs to be awakened within our hearts, and to recognize that it has always been there the whole time. Happiness comes from within.
Happiness is our natural state. Happiness is the natural state of little children, to whom the kingdom belongs until they have been polluted and contaminated by the stupidity of society and culture.
― Anthony de Mello
When I was traveling, I learned how to be alone and not feel lonely. Sometimes I still feel sad, but the feeling goes away easily. It is perfectly normal as long as we recognize that we don't need to stay in that emotional state. We can still be happy even when we are sad.
After traveling for a while, I missed my own routine. I miss those things I truly enjoy doing alone. I know that I can still do these things when I am traveling but after a while, there's nothing like coming back to your own place and not having to see any more strangers. To be comfortable on my own, to create a life I don't need to escape from. Long term travel and being location independent is not a bed of roses, it is not real freedom, and running/moving away all the time can be tiring. I belong here, to myself. Happiness is here. It can't be found anywhere else in the world.
So I'm going to share some of the things that I really love doing when I am alone. It helps me to stop thinking for a bit and it makes me live the present moment.
I like going to a local coffee shop and observe the rhythm of passersby and other people's lives from a distance. I love to read a book and immerse myself in another world. I don't need to travel.
Recently, I come to enjoy going to the cinema alone. It is actually nice to sneak some snacks into the movie theatre, go to an empty aisle, then sit back and relax.
I actually like to go to a restaurant sometimes and pig out. I like to treat myself, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Playing a musical instrument is one of the activities that let us truly enjoy the moment. What else to think about? We are only focused on playing the right chords and being in tune. And once we got it, we are happily singing. I feel happier when I can practice playing my favorite songs.
I like going to the pool and swim laps for exercise. This was what I really loved before I had traveled, and now I am convincing myself to go back to this routine. I have to convince myself to wake up early every day, which is actually the hardest part. I am only allowed there during the morning and it's free. I actually agreed with the schedule the pool guys gave me in hopes of being able to embrace self-discipline. One of these days, I will just go without thinking if I need to have a coffee first. That's it, I'll just go.
Yet another crazy cat lady! What could be more companionable, pets don't make me feel alone. When I go out, I like to say hello to cats and dogs, and not to the owners. People can ruin things for us sometimes, and yes, they can make us feel lonely too. But pets are the best companion, they can be loyal and unconditional. They need our love and attention, and they make us feel happier in return.
Walking on the beach and waiting for sunset were the things I also loved doing when I was traveling. It happened that I stayed close to the sea without much tourists and lovers, and wow, I felt happier.
I don't happen to live by the beach now, but it is not really far from where I am staying. I feel lucky to have access to one of the best beaches in the world, and that I can also go if I want to make myself feel better. Walking on the beach is one of the things I truly enjoy when I'm alone, it gives me time to reflect and rejuvenate.
There are so many things that I truly enjoy doing and the list goes on. It is really up to us to determine the activities and simple things in life that make us feel happier, even without the others.
If we are used to being around people all the time, then it is time to learn how to live without them and to be on our own. Whether we like it or not, nothing really lasts, even our loved ones can go, no matter how hard we avoid not thinking about the harsh reality. We can only enjoy our moments together and appreciate their presence in our lives. At some point, we are back to reality - born alone, die alone. It does not have to be that grim, but we can only make the most out of our short time here on earth.
If we have hobbies and we know how to make our minds busy all the time, then there should be no such thing as boredom or loneliness. The world is big and our time is short. Be creative.
What are the things you enjoy doing alone?
Be honest.
reSTEEM!!
Thanks!
I do most things alone these days - I like to get up early to go to the beach, running, writing, playing videogames, reading. My office is my safe space - I don't often go out to bars/coffee shops anymore (I used to all the time when I was younger) because I just don't derive as much satisfaction as I used to from them.
When I became more okay with myself, I started spending a lot more time alone.
Yeah, my own place is my safe space too. It is nice not to travel all the time and just have my own private space.
Thanks for sharing!
I've been off all Summer and have enjoyed the solitude immensely. Waking up to my own schedule, walking down to the beach in the early morning, doing some writing, reading, the list goes on and on. I find there isn't enough time in the day and I'm not even working.
By 5pm my wife is home and the rest of the evening sails on by chatting about the days events and discoveries.
Walking down to the beach is so nice. I enjoy this too.
Thanks for sharing.
I really like to code. You can create anything.
Where is this one of the best beaches in the world where you're currently staying?
Were you able to run my script?
P.S : It's nice to see your post in Trending :D
Thanks for sharing.
Not yet, I saved your script. I'll find time. Coding is cool, if only I am good lol. I'll just write.
I'm also surprised lol. I can only thank @blocktrades! 😍 I am so happy!!!!!!
Beautifully written. I have recently learnt about the idea of temporariness. Nothing is permanent, and that is a great thing! Each day we are evolving and growing into a more learned and developed human. Not just physically but also consciously. Our lives are temporary and even our ideas of love itself will change throughout our lifetimes.
I feel its a shame self love isnt taught in western schools. People are attuned to the ideologies of society and being alone is seen as a sad and negative thing. A lot of people are waking up to this though and we are seeing a resurgence of eastern arts such as, meditation, yoga, tai chi etc.
In answer to your questions i personally love to meditate, surf and do yoga on my own - although i equally love it just as much with the energy of other people - its a win/win!
Look forward to reading more of your posts, i will follow you to keep up to date :)
Thank you for sharing!
thanks for this nice post. Things I enjoy doing alone? hmm.. maybe cooking my favorite food and prepare a delicious smoothie after..lol
btw, I like this quote "Happiness is our natural state. Happiness is the natural state of little children, to whom the kingdom belongs until they have been polluted and contaminated by the stupidity of society and culture."
― Anthony de Mello
Ok, I like cooking simple meals when I'm alone haha. Cooking is something I enjoy doing for other people.
Yes, I like this quote very much, check the book Awareness, that's where the quote came from.
Thanks for sharing!
I will, Thanks! :)
Nowadays i prefer the solitude of my own company. With all the craziness in the world lately i enjoy my peaceful time away from the maddening crowd. Reading and surfing the internet are my two greatest pleasures i like doing alone.
Thanks for sharing!
Reading and surfing the internet are also my two greatest pleasures these days. 😊
This is a really nice post, and I agree with you 100% that it is important to know how to be alone and to be able to enjoy your own company.
I also really enjoy going to a café or a park and watch people passing by, and I like to draw the things I see around me. I haven't been drawing as much in some time now, I definitely need to get back to it! Another thing I love doing alone is walking or running in nature, just letting my thoughts run freely and my mind be cleared by the fresh air. I am somewhat of a dreamer so I never really get bored even when I am alone, because I am always making up stories in my mind. Something this constant thinking can become a bit too much and then I like to meditate.
Thank you for your post it was a pleasure to read it! And I am glad that you have found peace with being by yourself :)
I think we are the same. It's kind of going around and my I am still writing.
Thanks for sharing!
I dont understand these people who doesn't like to be alone....
i always liked to do all by myself, i feel great being independent.
I agree, being alone can mean we are just being independent.
Some people cannot be alone while others stress out around too many people. I think many of us who prefer solitude find other people disappointing. That's how it is for me. Also, people who can't be alone are usually very uncomfortable with themselves for whatever reason. They need constant reinforcement from others that they are okay.
My favorite quote about happiness comes from the Dali Lama. A follower of the Dali Lama once asked him, "I want happiness, how can I get it?" to which the Dali Lama replied, "Take away the I, for that is ego. Then take away the want, for that is desire. What you have left is happiness."
I agree, we should know how to be comfortable with ourselves to enjoy each other's company.
This very true. This is what the spiritual gurus have been trying to teach us.
I like puttering around in the garden and hiking uphill. I am okay with company when going down, but going up, I like to get into a meditative state of just walking and breathing and walking. Actually, depends on the length of the hike. We hiked Mt Whitney (22 mi with an elevation gain of over 6000 feet) and I did appreciate to have a friend close by.
It is definitely fun to hike with friends. But sometimes, I like to just focus on my breathing when going up the hill, kind of meditation for me too. Besides, it is hard to talk to someone while hiking lol.
Thanks for sharing.
I enjoy doing most things alone like surfing, writing music and doing mathematics. I think some people crave to be around others while for more introverted people being alone allows them to relax and think.
I agree, thanks for sharing.
Mass-debating? Does that count:) Ya know, there's nothing like a good argument with yourself......
Cool, thanks!
Beautiful post hun.
Happiness is elusive Especially when you are constantly searching for it.
..serotonin's all i need, I just wish that were true..
-James
.."are you disciplined enough to be free...
-James
Thanks!
Great :).
I don't know why but I am alone all the time in recent years.
I really enjoy hiking solo in the mountains, I can free my mind while hiking on elevation. Being in the wilderness without anybody around me permit me to feel free and better the nature.
It is a good time to focus on the simple things that are making me happy.
True! Thanks for sharing!
If the scriptures are correct, we humans, in essence, are eternal beings. It is just because we have a mission of growth, supposedly, in this world of duality where we were also made to forget who we truly are. Could we, somehow, regain that outlook we had before coming to this world? If we could , loneliness and fear of death might not even be there for us. Perhaps?
Hi diabolika. To be aone and not be lonely was one of my biggest learning process on my travels. It was needed to make me able to love myself. And I am so thankful I put myself through that process. Wonderful post! P.S> how do you manage to write next to a picture? I somehow can't do that (tech neewbie me...). thanks
Thanks!
---> html code you have to insert. 😊
Thanks :) I hope I can perform this and use it in my next blog.
@diabolika Great day I value all the info and hard work thank you :).
@diabolika This is awesome! Love it.
@diabolika Excellent Tale. Awesome you ended up in the position to hustle your way out of your respective condition.
@diabolika Terrific write-up. Certainly This is often truth in each individual state..
@diabolika Thanks for your work sir.... Love it.
I always enjoyed solitude. We are all alone yet we are all one. Its the same in the end.
keep it up!!!
Amazing Post!
Awesome post. Please follow back
@diabolika Intriguing put up - many thanks . Have to be terrifying to own this issue..
Very nice post😉
Great written! Some people still look down on being alone which I really do not understand. When I was traveling South America alone, I spent a lot of time with people I met but I really cherished those moments I was absolutely on my own.
Being comfortable with yourself is really important! Alone I do enjoy taking out my camera and go for a walk through forest or cities and taking shots or even having a meal on my own in a restaurant is soothing to me! Love that you wrote about this and never give up on your own company!
Thanks for sharing!
Great Post Thank You! :D
The things I do to enjoy alone:
Meditation
Gym
Reading a book
Music!!!!
Reading your post ^^
Working on my post :D
Please check my new post, I think you will like it!
@paps
What a sweet kitty.
I love what you said.
I'm sort of an extroverted-introvert, so I also spend much "alone time," it's always been that way.
Fave passtimes alone are generally never truly alone, though, because my spirit guides are active and also my companion animals are with me. We like to dance and play. It's basically what our wellness routine consists of...and it allows us to maintain ourselves in a world that is generally otherwise rough on empaths.
con un amigo asi q te acompañe donde vayas eso si es buena compañia
Wise words, I am spending a lot of time on my own currently, due to now being single. But I am really benefiting and finding out so much