For a first attempt your story was interesting. But you need to work more on that. In some parts your words miss "poetry", "feelings", you need to work on your vocabulary, because your ideas are very beautiful. I bet you can write so much better in your first language :)
Sorry, it is near payout time so it doesn't let me vote on that :(
This is what I was looking for. I agree my vocabulary isn't that great. At times you even have to develop a different vocab considering fiction writing. I'm working on that. Stay tuned for the next one. Hope it improves over the time.
I am sure you will get better! I was not that good in the beginning, but practice makes perfect and I always try to improve (I don't think I will ever become perfect in writing. I just want to keep it decent and be able to pass my emotions through my words). And if you start reading more fiction in english and work with a dictionary to find synonyms and translate words from your language in english, I am sure you will see the difference very very soon (this is what helped me at least)
upvoted your comment, because I could not upvote your post :)
Hey @ruth-girl. I have written the next part of my story. Would love to have your inputs.