Thank you. I needed to hear that today. I've been accused of 'ostracizing' people due to my ridged boundaries. Removing my steem because people went to war has caused hurt feelings. People do not comprehend the line that I've drawn in my life and why that line is soooooo important. They don't see the violence they engage in either. A simple click of a mouse can result in a tremendous amount of violence.
So while I continue to explore my relationships and work to reconcile them, I will continue to confront people on their actions and behaviours. I have seen significant results from my work and I will not let up on my determination, standards and drive towards peace and freedom.
Many people will react in different ways after their interaction with me. Some will see what I am about, while others will not. I've had to say good bye to many friends over the years because of their unwillingness to find peace. I'm blunt and forthright. I call things the way I see them. I will not apologize for expressing tough love. But it does hurt. I process a lot of pain as I do this work.
I am grateful that some people do see what I'm talking about and recognize the benefits of this work. It is so important and I've felt very much alone in this journey. However, it is starting to feel a bit more comforting knowing that there are others who are starting to see what I see. Thank you my friend. I include you in that list of those with the eyes to see and the ears to hear!
I am in your fellowship as I have just experienced my first accusation of ostracism as a result of keeping a boundary. I feel honored.
Why do abusive people see boundaries as rejection? Because they were taught that "love" is to have no boundaries?
I'm saddened to hear that it has happened to you. I pray that you can see past the covert violence associated with the accusation. To answer your question, yes, I think people do see boundaries as rejection. But it is more than that. Bullies don't like people challenging them as it shows strength. Bullies go after the weak and when people establish boundaries they are no longer weak. So bullies will attack the boundaries, sometimes at all cost, in order to re-establish the status quo. But when people stand their ground, they will move on. It is a tough process but well worth it. Welcome to what real love looks like my friend. Bravo for standing your ground.
I remember many years ago, an elder/ a seer told me that i will walk a very lonely path, that people will not understand. I would have to say at the time, i was angry and thought that was a horrible thing to say.
Looking back, she was absolutely correct, and it wasn't a bad thing. It is just different from what the masses believe, and how we live. I am grateful for living the way that i do. To do that, requires boundaries and the tough love you speak about. I often think of we didn't love so much, it wouldn't wound so badly at times. I tend to be naive. That causes my boundaries to soften, it is a work in progress. Lol
I know i am preaching to the choir. ;)
I truly believe we are networking. The Web of life, peace and freedom.