This. Yess!
It's so much more important to know that you've done something out of passion. It's crucial. This reminds me of a Jim Carrey quote I love very much -
“You can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”
I think it would be much easier to forgive yourself for failing at what you love - in the sense that perhaps you don't get rich or famous or whatever, but at least you did something that made you happy. Carrey, I think, was actually talking about his dad who failed (poor, unhappy etc) doing some menial job that didn't give him any satisfaction and it was far more crushing. It really struck me.
Yes indeed! At least you have loved doing it. My 17 yo daughter was failing (tests) this year because she was not studying what she loved. She sent herself off to school in part because she felt isolated and in part because she didn’t trust she’d push herself to do what she felt she needed to do, so she got them to push her. In parts the 3 years were damaging and in parts useful but they were often painful. She just pulled herself out of school to do what she loves and she’s excelling and doesn’t notice she’s working at it. She’s still tortured by her fear that she’s not ‘normal’, won’t be accepted, has failed by dropping out. But I think she discovered she can’t NOT follow where her heart leads. And it is all part of unschooling to support our children with their decisions and respect their process (without uttering “I told you so!” in our ignorance that there was also a 50% chance we would be wrong).
I might quote Carrey at some point now!
I'm so glad your daughter has chosen to follow her heart and is now happier - I know the feeling.
I had the same fear that I won't push myself hard enough. however, having spent my early "education" years in traditional school, I knew how useless it is and that those people don't actually push you to do what you want. I guess that's one of the reasons I didn't stop pushing, because I knew I was the only one responsible once I left.
I guess it's normal to be afraid - everyone is, up to a point, of course. Because you can't know it'll turn out alright or that you're doing the right thing. Besides, that doubt is good, it keeps you in check. It keeps you in the fight.
I'm sure she's a very lucky girl to have such an encouraging mother :)
Yes @honeydue, I think it’s hard when you are surrounded by a massive number of people following a conventional, ‘tried and tested’ path (and mostly the propaganda says it’s a successful path, which for many people it is far from). It can make you doubt your senses, your heart and your parents, who are living an unconventional path.
Like you, I had a certainty from being schooled (and from being a teacher) that we can do it better under our own steam, following our own judgment.
And thanks for the lovely affirmation 🙏