Home educators are like:
"Einstein was home educated".
"Ryan Gosling was home educated."
"Hell! The Queen of England was home educated!"
Photo by Sidney Perry on Unsplash
I was prompted to pull myself up on this [reading this post] and see it for what it is:
DEFENCE.
More than that, it's defence before the attack arrives.
It's something I spent 10 years doing with my father-in-law. It is exhausting and I always wondered why he had to keep arguing with me about home education [I was bringing it up!]
I found myself doing this last night! "Churchill was home educated too!"; I said to my unschooled 10 year old [in a moment of what is a kind of schooliness in itself!]
My husband guffawed and pointed out it was because he lived in a huge stately home with tutors [as did QE2, who, he quipped was "home educated" too].
I defended the home education: "He could have been sent off to Eton or somewhere at age 7 like so many rich peoples' kids, but no, he was home educated. It's still home educated!"
Blenheim Palace, Churchill's home.
What a ton of bollocks I was talking :-D haha.
We do it to defend our decisions,
to reassure ourselves about out decisions,
to deflect, dilute or antidote the potential self-esteem hit from all the times our kids have heard people say that because they don't go to school they must/will be dumb ... all the times an extended family member has blatantly or surreptitiously tested them on reading a clock or a sign, or reciting a times table.
[The Simpsons]
We do it to buffer their self esteem and our self esteem.
Meanwhile, @honeydew is right [her post].
Neither inside nor outside the system are there guarantees and people will succeed or fail according to how much they believe they will do so and how much effort they put into it. [Some people can put a whole lot of effort into failing spectacularly when they want to].
Meanwhile, some people will 'succeed' by having unexceptional and relaxing lives and others will 'succeed' by doing something someone else makes note of.
Some of them will 'fail' by never doing anything anyone makes note of and others will 'fail' by working so hard they forgot to smell roses, foster relationships, meet themselves inwardly.
Photo by Wesley Quinn on Unsplash
When we tell our home educated or unschooled kids of all the famous people who 'were also home educated' in order to justify our decisions or to shore up their self-esteem, we are in danger of communicating to them that to succeed [and vindicate us] they have to become more famous than we did.
It's tough enough navigating whether granddad *really* can't see the clock from here & whether that woman in the shop *really* can't remember what 6 x 8 is without the pressure to be Einstein.
Get on with unschooling. Let kids know when this when they arrive ...
Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash
Your content is really awesome and amazing
I believe that confidence and passion is important because my brother was failed 5 times in high school but after 5 years he passed the high school but my brother loss there confidence. Don't worry the time will change wait give positive thoughts to your daughter.
Home education really educated person. One thing I learned from Jack MA (founder and president of alibaba group of companies) that rejection makes the perfection. I really heartly respect for Sir Jack Ma because he was rejected 10 times from Harvard University but now he is a 19th richest man in the world. Don't worry only failure can know the importance of winning but don't worry I wish and hope that your daughter will achieve great in coming days.
Thank you.
Lovely comment.
I hope so too. I hope your brother has done well since.
Thanks for leaving a thoughtful comment.
😄
Powerful generating @eftnow!
This. Yess!
It's so much more important to know that you've done something out of passion. It's crucial. This reminds me of a Jim Carrey quote I love very much -
I think it would be much easier to forgive yourself for failing at what you love - in the sense that perhaps you don't get rich or famous or whatever, but at least you did something that made you happy. Carrey, I think, was actually talking about his dad who failed (poor, unhappy etc) doing some menial job that didn't give him any satisfaction and it was far more crushing. It really struck me.
Yes indeed! At least you have loved doing it. My 17 yo daughter was failing (tests) this year because she was not studying what she loved. She sent herself off to school in part because she felt isolated and in part because she didn’t trust she’d push herself to do what she felt she needed to do, so she got them to push her. In parts the 3 years were damaging and in parts useful but they were often painful. She just pulled herself out of school to do what she loves and she’s excelling and doesn’t notice she’s working at it. She’s still tortured by her fear that she’s not ‘normal’, won’t be accepted, has failed by dropping out. But I think she discovered she can’t NOT follow where her heart leads. And it is all part of unschooling to support our children with their decisions and respect their process (without uttering “I told you so!” in our ignorance that there was also a 50% chance we would be wrong).
I might quote Carrey at some point now!
I'm so glad your daughter has chosen to follow her heart and is now happier - I know the feeling.
I had the same fear that I won't push myself hard enough. however, having spent my early "education" years in traditional school, I knew how useless it is and that those people don't actually push you to do what you want. I guess that's one of the reasons I didn't stop pushing, because I knew I was the only one responsible once I left.
I guess it's normal to be afraid - everyone is, up to a point, of course. Because you can't know it'll turn out alright or that you're doing the right thing. Besides, that doubt is good, it keeps you in check. It keeps you in the fight.
I'm sure she's a very lucky girl to have such an encouraging mother :)
Yes @honeydue, I think it’s hard when you are surrounded by a massive number of people following a conventional, ‘tried and tested’ path (and mostly the propaganda says it’s a successful path, which for many people it is far from). It can make you doubt your senses, your heart and your parents, who are living an unconventional path.
Like you, I had a certainty from being schooled (and from being a teacher) that we can do it better under our own steam, following our own judgment.
And thanks for the lovely affirmation 🙏