Is there nothing good left in me?
"Life is a chance to search to discover and to solve and to start another search to discover another solution to search better ...until death takes the mind"
- Martin H. Fischer
I woke up feeling a little depressed this morning. I have no idea but I woke up that way. I think the best way To describe that is with the song "woke the fck up"* by Jon Bellion.
(instagram : @jonbellion)
I woke up with a recap of all my failures and disappointments in life and I wondered whether this is all I am left with in this sojourn upon planet earth.
Well, I decided to make this entry for @surpassinggoogle Untalented contest based in this light. Although it has to much of poetry in it...
Who then are you ?
"Curiosity is the lust of the mind"
- Thomas Hobbes
Who I am is not really the first answer when you give me that question. It is the answer I give myself when I am alone. The things I continually tell myself after having regard to the things I've done.
Who I am is not in my times of plenty. When I am rich and I have all. Who I really am is in times of nothing, when everything crumbles and falls. When I'm left with nothing and I question the futility of life.
Who I am is not in the midst of friends and jocund company. Who pat your back and contort their faces when you're not looking. It's who I am in the midst of enemies that put me to dare and make me stand on my toes.
(instagram : @imageandmind)
Who I am is not in the arms of my soul mate. But when I meet the girl whose heart I broke 10 years later with her little son smiling up at me. I well tell him "you have your mothers eyes "
Who I am is not when I go visiting a friend but when I'm home, when I'm off my guard and there's nobody to tell me what to do.
Who I am is not when I succeed and make huge successes but when I fail and fail and fail again
(instagram :@imageandmind)
So who am I?
I am the broken man who broke another person's heart a few too many times .
I am the boy who failed in the test.
(instagram :@imageandmind)
I am the broken youth seeking for a non existent nebulous future.
I suck at love.
I believe in God but I disappoint him more times than I can count.
I am the 2 year old boy who was left by his father in search of a better life...
(instagram :@imageandmind)
I give most times to satisfy my need of feeling good and not because I am good.
I have developed bad habits. I hardly even look after my health these days. I don't eat right, i sleep late, you can complete this list yourself
I am the black sheep in the midst of a white crowd.
I am the unhappy face in the midst of the happy company.
I am the broken poet in the stage of the happy audience ...
On a second thought
"It is only when I accept my bullshit that I can change"
Then I think again
I should be grateful for life. I ought to count my blessings.
I should be happy that more than half of what I have in life I never deserved it.
I should be Happy that I have a great Mum who is always looking out for me.
I have found love in the strangest of places
That I have friends who are looking up To me and some who I'm looking up. @gunneresq
Friends who have my back all the time
I should be grateful I even "woke the fck up"*. A lot of people passed on this morning.
(instagram:@imageandmind)
I guess this is a small part of who I really am "a Broken, thankful man "
Thanks for the read . Check out my previous post YOUR PAIN : A CURE
I can tell you this much YOU can never dissapoint God. He loves you, you are his child made in his image. God is like person who always routes you on when you do the right thing. they have a party in the heavens amongst the angels just for you. When you make one step towards him and a better you. Conversely when you fail or can't give no more, he is there to help pick you up but only if you want him to. He loves you @butterdaniel like he can only ever love butterdaniel. God bless you today my friend. I love your post and I hope it out does your expectations. Upvoted and resteemed here.
Know ye @steveblack that you're God sent with a great message to bless my ailing soul.
Thank you so much for this. God bless you
I talk say you go shine for this Steemit of a thing and see as e dey happen already. This is fcking fantastic. My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give 👊
Lol. I'm glad you're always stopping by to encourage me in this city. Thank you very much @edumurphy
I think a lot of us are dealing with depression. We look at the state of the world, we look at our present ciricumstances; we look at the results we are producing and wonder why things aren't coming our way. We have high hopes and expectations for something and then.... bamm... what we hoped would be just isn't going to happen the way we expected. Cryptocurrencies are the perfect example. I through a couple grand into... I'm playing the game to the best of my abilty figuring out the system, and then my account on Ether Delta gets hacked for $900. Takes "the wind out our your sail." Daniel... I just posted my second blog after that you will find solace and encouragement in that @pjbnikao. Its titled "An Inquiry into the Nature of Truth." High regards
Phil
Thank you so much for your soothing words of encouragement. I'll be sure to check your page out. Thanks once more
Let the world know, including father that the two year old is now a score old. A better man and with defined propose.
A good friend to fail forward with.
A fallible being with great love for an infallible God.
Tell the world that your are Buter Daniel.
PS. We need to talk.
A fallible being with great love for an infallible God.
Thank you @gunneresq
Best post I stumbled upon today in my blog visitation, not all will see the tangibility of this piece, this piece carries the true mysteries of life which can only be made known to them that desires the true meaning of life.
My dear, your post is not a hype neither a packaging; there is life in it!
Best so far.
What you said means a lot to me. I really appreciate your stopping by.
Thank you @maxdevalue
This will sure pass for my mental lunch today.. Nice one Daniel.
@idunique I'm still anticipating your introduction post.
I'm glad you enjoyed the read. Cheers!
lol... in no distant time, i will announce m arrival bro.
U r really impressing me.
I'm seriously anticipating you. Thanks for checking by
Will be back to visit
That'll be great @surpassinggoogle
Very good poetry, congratulations and success in the contest
Thanks a lot for checking out the work. I appreciate
Very good poetry.
I like your post
Thanks @safrijals . This means a lot
Yes, you are welcome.
visit my friend's blog
@buterdaniel, very fantastic post you shared and your feelings showed in poetry. i impressed that lines writen,
"Life is a chance to search to discover and to solve and to start another search to discover another solution to search better ...until death takes the mind"
thanks a lot @surpassinggoogle.
I'm so glad you liked the work @rabeel
Very nice poetry.
upvoted
Thanks a lot @robert31. Means a whole lot
thanks to.
This is lovely
Thanks a lot Eve for stopping by. This means a lot....
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STOPYou're not broken, God loves you and never sees you as a disappointment.
You will find love and you wont suck at it.
Thanks for sharing this, its not easy doing so.
This means a lot to me glory. I really do appreciate the kind words.