Let me give you some mama hugs since I am a mom. I know it is painful yet nothing could be done to reverse the loss. Only wake up and move on in a wiser and better way.
My dad was a gambler. We from family when gambling was a norm during Chinese New Year. We play mahjong. Poker. Big and small. Like those you had seen in TV - Hong Kong show. And gambling had their way to suck you in for more. Even in the beginning you had won quite a sum, it would never be enough, like a voice luring you to go deeper and when you were there, you got trapped then suddenly you become unsound then you lost. My father said so.
So he set a role model for us to never get into gamble. You want money, you work. You want easy money, you must have more to take risk.
I know you are feeling better by the time I typed this. Reading from other comments you have posted above.
And I am so so so so proud of you for hanging on the positive vibes and move on and create your life. Really... I am so proud of you. Like so proud of son. Haha. That sort of feeling.
High-5 to you and I pray for windows of blessing to open right above you and pour unto you blessings overflowing as you steer in a positive direction.
❤️
P/S: you are one super courageous dude to be willing to share this on the blockchain. You have my honor. Cheers🍻