The Strongest Woman I Ever Knew
This post is in response to the What It Means To Be A Woman - SFP-Cebu #WomanPower Writing Contest.
The Contest
Write the most compelling story about woman power, woman success and prowess. It could be about your mom, your sister, your girlfriend or girl friend, or any female significant other whom you think fits the bill.
Our Goal For This Contest
The goal of the #WomanPower contest is to help a dear friend -- a woman -- who has single-handedly conquered the odds to help and nurture street kids in her city through her brainchild project called The Lugaw Project.
Women have a way of carrying the world on their backs. They are usually the emotional support system in the family unit and therefore take on everyone else's pains and woes as their own. We hug the stress away, absorb the tears and transform pain into motivation for those we love.
This story is about my favorite woman, the strongest woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing; my grandmother.
Her story is not especially exciting or unique - she was not a world renounced anything, she wasn't the first woman to do x,y, or z - in fact she was a typical American stay at home mother, a God fearing woman and a loyal wife. She married her very first 'love' and when he passed away in 1992 she never remarried or even dated. She had four children, taught dance and genuinely loved her life.
She had her share of trials and tribulations but she was a woman of faith - and that kept her heart open and loving. I still admire her utter "knowing" when it came to her belief in God. (I have never been particularly religious - I was never initiated into any church, never went to a mass or read the bible or any other books until college when it was required reading for some reason.. however I can still appreciate those who do conform.)
A Strong Woman Steps Up When Others Step Down
My parents were true hippies in every sense of the word. Free love, drugs and rock&roll all the way. I can't complain - I learned a lot from their mistakes. But when I was 5, my mom took off. My dad, now a single dad to three girls, moved back in with his parents and from there on my grandmother - Mamere as we all called her - took the reigns.
Over all the years when I never saw my mother - maybe got an IOU inside a Christmas card or a random phone call of promises to stop by soon - never once did Mamere have a bad word to say about my mother. In fact, I never heard her say a bad thing about anyone! And believe me she wasn't passive aggressive either - she was just plain KIND. She believed in forgiveness above all things.
My dad didn't want her taking us to church or "preaching" her beliefs on us and she didn't. She never once tried to force her beliefs on me or my sisters. She never swore - wouldn't even say damn. She told us we were beautiful and would sing Miss America to us - she brought us into her heart and loved us like we were her own daughters.
She taught me what a real mother should do and what it means to be a good woman.
Around 14 my mother started showing back up - my dad HATED it. He fumed and screamed - but Mamere welcomed her and encouraged us to get to know her again. She held no animosity towards the woman who walked out and left her to care for us.
My mother became more like a friend to me (or the fun big sister) - she took us out partying with her and never told me I was too young for anything. At the time I thought she was the coolest, the 'best' kind of mom because I could swear, drink, smoke, do drugs.. nothing was off limits. When I was fighting with my dad or smothered by Mamere's rules I would call my mom and escape with her and my older sister.
My grandmother saw me slipping down a bad road and she did what any good mother would - tried to steer me back in the right direction. She'd tell me "that shirt is too low, "those pants are too tight", "you don't need makeup you're beautiful". When I snuck out at night she was the one sitting in the darkened living room watching me climb back through the window at 5AM.
But she never gave up on me. When I dropped out of high school she told me I'd be okay - I was a smart girl. She drove me back and forth to my first job at 16 and refused to take a dime for rent from me - even when my dad insisted I learn how to pay my way through life since I wanted to quit school.
I got pregnant by accident at 18 by a guy I had barely been dating for 6 months I was scared to death to tell her. When I finally broke down and my dad lost his mind - screaming at me that I'd ruined my life and wasn't welcome under "his" roof - it was my grandmother who stood up and told my father off. She helped me get off drugs and took care of me when I was too sick to get out of bed. She brought me to every doctor's appointment and when my mother wanted to step in and claim the famed title of "Grammy" and be there for the birth, Mamere graciously stepped aside with not a single rude word. She let my mother have her time and looking back on it now I cannot imagine the strength that took.
And when, SHOCKER, things didn't work out with my first son's father and he took off, Mamere welcomed me and the baby with open arms back into her home. She helped me raise my boy just like she help my dad to raise us.
Strength is Shown in Actions Not in Words
On top of taking care of my sisters and I - my grandmother was a pillar in the community. She lead dancing classes well into her 70's, she held bible studies and prayer groups. Her schedule was bustling and her social life was more bumping than mine ever was. She'd drive all her little-old-lady friends around to all their appointments and give to anyone in need. She made monthly donations to the Salvation Army and bought McDonalds meals for the homeless.
She got Dementia near the end.. The hardest thing for her was the forgetting - it was the only time I saw her upset or frustrated. She prided herself on her memory - she knew song for everything, she could remember phone numbers and recipes. For at least 2 years she tried to hide her weakness - she had been strong for so long she couldn't bare to admit she needed help.
I will never have more respect or love for any other woman - she was truly the Strongest Woman in the World to me.
In closing I want to share this poem I wrote in her honor:
Congratulations @amariespeaks for winning the 1st prize for #WomanPower Writing Contest.
Stay tune for our offical winner announcement this wednesday on our weekly newsletter.
Once again, congratulations
WOW! I'm so happy so many people could connect with my story! I read some of the other entries and they were all truly amazing and heart warming - I'm so grateful to have been chosen :) And in honor of Mamere's favorite little dancing queen - from my heart to yours @sfp-cebu:
What an awesome person she was @amariespeaks. And it seems she had a whole lot to do with moulding you into a wonderful woman in your own right. She must be in a special place in heaven.
@leighleigh She definitely did! As soon as I read the #womanpower contest, immediately she came to mind plus it's funding a great cause so I felt like it was something she would like done in her honor <3
Thank you for reading :-)
This is so touching. she was indeed a great woman of destiny. God bless her soul. Now i know where your beauty came from and you look like her. She left a good legacy and i am happy she was there for you and made you the lovely woman you are today.
Thank you so much @gracefavour ! I'm forever grateful to her :) I think you two would have had a lot to talk about - I see her kindness and inspiring faith in your posts! <3
Oh Wow @amariespeaks! What a story of pain, courage, love, forgiveness, discovery! I felt your story!
It hits close to home because I recently wrote a story about my Grandma. I wonder what would happen if yours and mine hooked up on the other side! The "place" won't be the same, by the time they're done, for sure - hehe! - Angels and agents of hope and help they were!!
Thank you for being open about the reality of your early years! What a gift your Grandma must have been to you personally and it sounds like, to anyone who was in her life!
I look forward to more of your writing, Marie!
I enjoyed this well-written and heart-felt tribute to an extraordinary woman - Your Grandma!
Resteeming and Upvoting
@kismet2018 thank you! I will have to go over and check out your grandma story as well! It's funny how we were just chatting about how important grandmas are and then I was invited to take part in this challenge - perfect timing! :) thank you again for all your kind words
@amariespeaks, I think our Grandmas would feel the heart of our tributes to them. Your story came straight from the heart, as mine did! I just reread your story! She was quite a woman and you wrote it oh so well!!!
This might be a great contest idea ... Grandma Stories??
I LOVE talking to Grandmas, like I've mentioned to you and @wanderlass! Listening to and telling their stories would be an honor.
However, I am not unique in that regard! Many people had or have a very special Grandma too! SHE deserves to have her life honored and her story told too!
@kismet2018 I love the Grandma contest idea! That would be awesome - I'd love to see what kind of stories everyone has from all different times and places - that'd be so cool! And thank you again for all your support! I really appreciate it <3
I was afraid you'd like the idea because now the question becomes how to create a contest? Can you point me in the direction of tutorials and getting help? Help @davemccoy!!
@amariespeaks and @kismet2018 I also like the granny story contest! Grannies are the best and I'm sure there are heartwarming stories that should be shared in Steemit :)
@amariespeaks and @wanderlass, having the encouragement and support of talented and brilliant Steemians as you both are, is way more than this minnow could have possibly hoped for! I appreciate all you do for our community and all you have given to me by way of brainstorming ideas and guidance! Deeply grateful!
Gosh this post really hit me hard and I admire your love and devotion with your grandmother. She seems an awesome lady.
I never knew mine unlike my sister who regale me with talks of how great our grandmother is. She was hit by dementia as well and my sisters cried as they saw her frustrations of not remembering.
thank you for checking out my post @maverickinvictus :) demenita is really hard to deal with for everyone involved.. it was so hard when it got to the point where she didn't even know who I was.. it was soul crushing - sorry to hear you didn't get a chance to meet your grandmother <3
Such a great story. It is now much easier to understand how much you give back to our community here. You learned it all from your grandmother. Great that you keep her and her way of doing things alive through how you now do things.
@randomwanderings thank you 😊 there is nothing better than paying it forward and if I learned anything from her and her outstanding faith it would be: kindness is eternal and help will always be given to those in need - I try my best to embody those lessons!
So happy you liked my post! Oh and congrats on winning a SteemBasicIncome in the @newbiegames drawing! 👏🙏✌
Hey Gene. I’m so happy you found this. So well- deserved! OUR in-house curator @randomwanderings!
It was a bit risky with her high rep score, but felt it was good enough to overcome that guideline. Of course then I panicked for about 11 hours because I submitted it at a time that there were no reviewers around, so it had to wait until this morning when one arrived to catch up on posts.
But yes, definitely deserving of the vote.
I know you guys only get a limited amount of submission per week. Yikes, the tension of having to wait 11 hours! It's like waiting for the results of a college exam one week later.
I know Marie has a high rep score, but a lot of her work goes unnoticed. She is very smart and talented. I'm happy you took the chance and made the submission. :)
Thank you for sharing the inspiring story of Mamere and this part of your life. Both of you are beautiful and strong women. I honestly have tears now. It's so moving!
@wanderlass thank you so much! I feel you - I had tears writing this one. It's definitely a subject close to my heart. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! You are a beautiful and strong woman as well my darling! 💗
Thanks @amariespeaks. I feel lucky to get connected to amazing and beautiful women like you and @kismet2018 :)
@wanderlass thank you - I feel the same ! Both you and @kismet2018 are wonderful :-D
If I had the moment to read the yesterday, I would have totally sent this along to Gene and Debbie to look at!! It is definitely curie material!! I feel so terrible for not having the moment to stop and read but very happy Gene saw it. You deserve to be curied!!
You are one talented and smart individual with such a good heart. Your Mamere would be so proud of the woman you grew up to be. Our youth is filled with new experiences and path uncommonly taken but having her love and support positively influenced your life for the better. She was one terrific woman. I’m sorry about the dementia later in her life. From all you’ve told me about her, she lived a happy life filled with memories of her family and friends. Any one of those memories experienced at the time are worth all other obstacles life throws at us. I am truly happy for you Marie. For curie and for having a strong and supportive woman like your Mamere in your life.
@beeyou thank you so much for your wonderful comment <3 <3 and all your encouragement! I was very lucky to have her in my life - she saved me more times than I can count! She really was a terrific woman and I've loved seeing all the awesome comments coming in on this one! She certainly is watching out for me!
Thank you again and don't worry about not getting to view this yesterday!! We are ALL super busy and you do MORE than enough on here everyday my dear! You're amazing :-D
Now I know where some of that wisdom came from! ;)
You are awesome and she would be so proud of what you are now and who you will be in the future! Her spirit will be repeating this back at 'ya!
"I will never have more respect or love for any other woman - she was truly the Strongest Woman in the World to me."
thanks @davemccoy I see little pieces of her in all the wonderful people here on Steemit! So glad to have found this awesome project where I can join in and do small bits of kindness everyday ;-) thank you again for all your awesome support!!
not only are you so glad to found this project, we are so glad you found it too! I can't imagine what it would be like without you! You're a pleasure to deal with and a marvel to admire! :D
Your grandma sounded like a winner, mine was too.
Super glad this post was rewarded as sharing your life is the definition of unique content.
Thank you!
@abh12345 thank you so for your kind words. I'm glad you had a fantastic grandma too! I was in shock honestly when I saw the votes coming in on this one! But I will take it, lol I am very grateful!
You deserve them, great stuff! :D
I am really happy for you that your grand MA really impacted on you and the icing on the cake was that you learnt from her. I am very sure you will educate your kid well on principles found in your grandma life.
I have learnt patience, understanding and commitment from the life of your grandma.
thank you for checking out my post @pjunlimited ! :-D She made a huge impact on my son and we all definitely will continue to carry her spirit with us! I'm so happy to hear you learned from her - she would be ecstatic to hear it, too! Keep steemin' my new friend!
Thanks @amariespeaks. Pls don't be relent in populasing your grandma principles. We obviously need more people like your grandma in this cold world.
@pjunlimited I can definitely agree with you there! Even if the world was Utopia we could still use more people like her LOL
She sounds amazing. You would be in a completely different place in life if not for her. And I’m so sorry to hear that about your mom. It’s funny to think about the contrast between your grandma (who sounds a lot like my maternal grandma) and my paternal grandmother who I wrote about. I wouldn’t say that my grandma Ruth was particularly nurturing or sweet or god fearing at all. She was also incredible but was definitely not the nurturing type and would call out what she saw as bullshit fearlessly. All of these amazing women were born into generations that underestimated them at every turn and had their own unique ways of interacting with the world and enduring it with incredible strength.
Congratulations on the win! You and your grandma definitely deserve it. 🙂
Thank you @malloryblythe !! I never imagined I'd actually win lol there were so many amazing stories under the tag! I really liked reading about your grandmother too :) It's funny because my maternal grandmother was a bit like your Grandma you wrote about lol she wasn't the nurturing type either - chain smoked and loved football lol definitely not sweet - she was a bit like my mother (the apple didn't fall far from the tree that time lol) but I loved her none the less - she was very strong in her own special way.
This challenge was awesome - I got to share a piece of me and see so many glimpses into the amazing lives of other strong women. I'm glad I was accepting into #teamgirlpowa and so happy to see you over there, too! <3 <3
Oh my gosh, that is a beautiful story! I am so glad I ran across it. What a beautiful circle of light your Mamere was. Those sorts of people are so rare. It is inspiring me to be a better person. Namaste.
@cryptojade thanks so much for reading my post and I'm glad you found it inspirational! She definitely was a rare gem! <3 Namaste
That's a fantastic story, and I'm happy for you that you had your grandmother in your life.
@sindore thank you :-D glad you enjoyed the story!
Aww, this was so sweet. It seriously brought tears to my eyes. I could feel your love for her as I read your story and I could sense how much of an incredibly wonderful person your Mamere truly was. I don't think i've ever met someone like you describe her to be. I know that I don't personally know you but I am still thankful you had her in your life and to be there to help care for your son.
@magicalmoonlight thank you for the kind words - I really appreciate it!! They broke the mold when they made her, thats for sure!
Amazing story @amariespeaks. It touching and beautiful. I am sure she loves the way you honor her. Like you said actions speak louder than words. She very much seemed to be the epitome of strength and graciousness. An extremely rare quality even back then.
Congratulations!!
thank you @tryskele ! I think she's had a hand in all this - this is the best response I've gotten on a post so far and I'm so grateful you enjoyed it and so many others too! She is still working miracles in my life lol
You're very welcome. It does sound like she's still got your back :)
Aw, I love your grandma, and the poem, and the dream - hard to imagine the mothers who abandon their own children, while the grandmas who already paid their dues come to the rescue and do it all again. The selfless women of old - surely there are still women like them! Now I'm thinking of a contest for women who are cut from the same cloth, so to speak, who are strong, capable, and enduring. Perspective, the passage of time, a look back across the years, may be what it takes to see our own generation with that kind of appreciation and admiration. Thanks for sharing this.
@carolkean thank you so much! Yes, being a mother now myself I cannot imagine up and leaving my children.. but she had many problems and her mother gave her away at a young age so I can see why she made the choices she did.. I'm just grateful I had a wonderful grandmother to step in because who knows where I would have been otherwise.
I like your contest idea! My new friend @kismet2018 has a similar vision of a series celebrating grandmas where she would interview them and tell their stories - or where others could share their grandma's wise advice, enduring stories and past memories! It seems knowledge from the elders is quite the trend - which is awesome!! We need to bring back the respect for the eldest generation instead of shutting them up in retirement homes. <3
Awwww. She sounds like a very loving and kind grandma. I wish more people would be like her...
Thank you! I agree @artgirl - the world would be a much better place if more people were as forgiving and kind as she was :)